


Tommy

by SapphireMusings



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Cute Kids, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 56,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22845061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireMusings/pseuds/SapphireMusings
Summary: Tom Paris unwillingly undergoes an alien procedure that leaves him changed and Chakotay as his guardian.It took a moment for it to sink it. Chakotay’s shocked gaze traveled from the sleeping child to the guard and back again. “You’re telling me that this is Lieutenant Paris?”
Comments: 37
Kudos: 68





	1. Purification

**Author's Note:**

> I wondered what a Season One/Season Two vintage Chakotay, who’s still harboring some antipathy toward Tom Paris, might do if he suddenly found himself with a five-year-old Tom Paris to care for. What’s a guy to do when an innocent, but precocious, five-year-old starts calling you Koty, and thinks you’re the best thing since ice cream, lands in your care, expecting you to be the adult and take care of him? Will Chakotay be able to put aside his dislike of the adult Tom Paris to care for the young and impressionable Tommy? Read on to see if Koty rises to the challenge.
> 
> Special thanks go to MaisieRita and Starmei, who continue to urge me to keep on with my writing and provide me with wonderful Chakotay/Paris and Duncan/Methos “what if” moments of conversation that get me going off on these tangents that flesh out works in progress or sometimes lead to whole new story ideas.
> 
> Original Date of Publication: May 2001.

##  **CHAPTER 1**

**Purification**

Chakotay paced back and forth in the small room the Quizah had imprisoned him in. They had confiscated both his phaser and combadge. How do I get myself into these situations? he wondered. How does Paris get us into these situations? No, that wasn’t fair. This wasn’t Paris’ fault. _Voyager_ ’s pilot just seemed to have an uncanny knack for finding himself in the wrong place at the wrong time.

This had started off as a simple mission to trade with the Quizah for star charts. Janeway had assigned Chakotay and Paris to this mission, and they had taken a shuttle to the next star system, meeting with the Quizah while _Voyager_ remained in orbit around Mandal to trade goods with the Mandalians. They were to rendezvous with _Voyager_ in four days near the Quizah homeworld.

Two days into their mission on Quizah, Paris had inadvertently broken a Quizah taboo. Chakotay had tried to explain that they were not familiar with Quizah customs and were extremely sorry. He had promised such an incident wouldn’t be repeated. The Quizah had not been appeased. This particular taboo was of extreme significance and the Quizah authorities had insisted that Paris be punished according to local laws and customs.

To Chakotay’s surprise, Paris had remained silent through most of the discussion, letting Chakotay handle the situation. _Voyager_ ’s first officer had appealed the Quizah decision to no avail. The Quizah were insistent that Paris had to be purified. Their explanation for this procedure had been vague at best. The Quizah had taken Paris into custody and locked Chakotay away in the room he currently resided in until the purification was complete. Both would be free to leave once the sentence was carried out. That didn’t reassure Chakotay. He restlessly paced back and forth, growing more anxious by the moment.

Chakotay’s apprehensive pacing slowed to a halt as his mind replayed that last scene before they had taken Paris away following his failed appeal to the Quizah for leniency in Lieutenant Paris’ case. Paris hadn’t appeared frightened, although there had been uncertainty in his eyes. He had appeared more resigned than anything else. Chakotay didn’t like this feeling of helplessness. Despite his sometimes less than impressed opinion of Paris, he had to admit the man had carried out his duties on _Voyager_ these past two years with the utmost professionalism. He was also under Chakotay’s command, and Chakotay couldn’t help but feel responsible for this. He should have been able to prevent it somehow. He could only hope that this so-called purification ceremony would have no lasting damage on Paris and that whatever the Quizah did to him could be reversed once they were back aboard _Voyager_.

Azwold, the Quizah Advisor, had mentioned something about purifying the taboo incident from Paris’ memory. When Chakotay had attempted to quiz Azwold further about the procedure, the Advisor’s explanations had been rather ambiguous, and the terms in which Azwold spoke of the purification almost bordered on the religious, or so it seemed to Chakotay. He could only hope that Azwold’s explanation about purifying the taboo incident from Paris’ memory simply meant they intended to wipe the incident from Tom’s memory and that would be the end of it. However, in Chakotay’s experience, things were never as simple as they seemed.

His musings were interrupted when the door opened and an armed Quizah guard appeared. “The purification ceremony is complete,” he told Chakotay. “If you will come with me, Commander, I will take you to Lieutenant Paris.”

Chakotay followed the guard out the door and down a narrow hallway. He was ushered into another room, larger than the one he had been in. A young boy lay sleeping on the cot in the room. He was dressed in traditional loose-fitting Quizah clothing made up of a white coarse cloth.

“The purification is complete,” the guard told him. “You may awaken him if you wish. Advisor Azwold requested you be advised that the star charts you have need of and your combadges and weapons have been left at your shuttle. Please let me know when you wish to leave and I will alert the Advisor.”

It took a moment for it to sink it. Chakotay’s shocked gaze traveled from the sleeping child to the guard and back again. “You’re telling me that this is Lieutenant Paris?”

The guard nodded but said nothing further. Frowning, Chakotay stepped forward and knelt down on one knee next to the cot. His gaze roamed over the sleeping boy. A mop of unruly light blond hair topped a face that Chakotay couldn’t deny belonged to Thomas Eugene Paris, only this face was a much younger version of the one the Commander was acquainted with. Reaching out, Chakotay gently shook the sleeping boy’s shoulder. “Tom? Tom, wake up.”

The boy’s eyes popped open to stare round-eyed at the Commander. At first Chakotay thought it was the clear blue of those eyes that captured his attention but then he realized that it was the innocence eyes that held him—eyes that were clear of shadows Chakotay had never realized were always present in Paris’ eyes. Until now. The Commander backed off as the youngster slowly sat upright, peering around him as if he had never seen the room or its occupants before. Finally, the boy looked back up at Chakotay.

“Where’s Momma?”

Chakotay sat on the edge of the cot next to him. “Do you know who I am?”

“Are you a friend of Daddy’s? That looks sorta like a Starfleet uniform. It’s different from Daddy’s though.” The child frowned.

“Yes, I’m a friend of your daddy’s,” Chakotay replied, quickly grabbing onto that explanation. “Admiral Owen Paris, right?” he asked, trying to figure out how to verify the child’s identity without raising suspicions.

The boy giggled. “Naw. He’s a captain. Momma sez he acts like an admiral sometimes though.”

“How old are you, Tom?”

Tom held up five fingers. “Five,” he proclaimed. I can count ‘em too. Wanna see?”

Chakotay dumbly nodded, not knowing what else to say. He watched as Tom proudly counted off the fingers one by one. When he finished, he grinned at Chakotay. “Told you.”

Chakotay recognized that grin covering the young boy’s face. He felt like someone had punched him in the gut as the realization of what the Quizah had done to Tom Paris sank in. Replying to Tom’s “told you,” Chakotay softly said, “Yes, you did.” He found a smile for Tom somewhere, even though his mind was reeling in shock. “Stay here for a minute, all right, Tom? I need to go talk to someone.”

Approaching the guard waiting at the door, Chakotay said quietly but firmly. “I want to talk to Azwold. Now. Is he in his office?”

“Yes, Commander,” replied the guard, unfazed by the stern man before him. “I will take you there if you wish.”

“No, I don’t wish. Stay here with Mister—with Tom, until I return.”

* * *

Azwold looked up in surprise when the door to his office burst open. Visitors were usually announced. Seeing who it was, he rose to his feet. “Commander, may I help you?” he asked civilly.

“I need to know exactly what you did to Lieutenant Paris. You told us it was a simple purification procedure that would wipe away all memories of the offensive act.”

“And so it was, Commander. You are evidently disturbed by something.”

“I’ve just come from seeing Lieutenant Paris. He used to be a thirty-year-old man. He now appears to be a five-year-old boy.”

“That is correct,” replied Azwold. “Our purity ceremony reverts the offenders back to childhood. Back to when they were pure. In this way, they are given a second chance. He will relive his childhood and his new experiences will reshape him into a person who will hopefully never again perform an offensive act against the Quizah or any other species.”

“Can it be reversed?”

“Of course not!” exclaimed Azwold, looking as if Chakotay had just uttered a blasphemy. “Lieutenant Paris is once more pure. Rejoice in that. Good day, Commander.”

Dismissed and seeing no further avenues open to him, Chakotay exited Azwold’s office. Maybe once they had Paris back aboard _Voyager_ , the Doctor could find a way to reverse the purification.

Reaching Paris’ room, Chakotay ducked inside. Five-year-old Tom was still sitting on the bed, looking a bit lost and forlorn. Sitting next to him, Chakotay asked, “How’s it going?”

Tom pointed at the guard stationed by the door. “I tried to talk to him but he won’t say anything.” A sudden thought seemed to occur to young Tom as he took in the guard’s alien appearance. He leaned in close to Chakotay. “He can talk, can’t he? Daddy told me about some people he met one time on one of his missions that never said a thing. They thought it at you. Daddy always has neat stories like that when he comes home from his missions. Do you do neat stuff like he does too?”

Chakotay tried to follow the quick change of topics, which he supposed from a five-year-old’s point of view made perfect sense. “I’ve been on a few interesting missions,” he told Tom. “Maybe I can tell you about some of them on the flight back to my ship. My name’s Chakotay, by the way.”

“Koty?”

Chakotay smiled. “That’s close enough. We’re going to take a shuttle ride to a starship. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Tom’s eyes brightened. “A real starship?”

“A real starship,” Chakotay confirmed.

“What about Momma and Daddy?”

Thinking fast, Chakotay said, “Your mommy and daddy had to leave unexpectedly on a trip and asked me to take care of you until they get back. Would that be okay? I live on a starship so we’ll be staying there for a while.”

“Okay,” agreed Tom, hopping off the cot, apparently ready to leave. Chakotay shook his head at the easy acceptance of youth as he climbed to his feet. As they walked from the room, he was startled to feel a hand grasp his. Tom’s small hand had slipped into his, holding on tight. This was going to take some getting used to, Chakotay decided. It was one thing to be responsible for a five-year-old child but this particular child was Tom Paris. An innocent Tom Paris, thought Chakotay as he looked down to find the boy gazing back up at him with big blue eyes that held no veiled feelings. Chakotay kept a firm grip on Tom’s hand. He felt extreme guilt that this had happened to Paris and could only hope _Voyager_ ’s doctor would be able to reverse the effects of the Quizah purification.

* * *

Once aboard the shuttle, Tom behaved with typical five-year-old curiosity by examining everything and touching things he shouldn’t. Chakotay had to constantly reprimand him. He was getting very tired of saying “No, Tom. Don’t touch.”

Deciding it was best to have him where he could keep an eye on him, Chakotay, much to Tom’s delight, belted him into the copilot’s seat, admonishing him not to touch any of the controls. Amazingly enough, Tom obeyed him, watching with rapt attention while Chakotay prepped the shuttle for takeoff.

Once they had cleared the planet and were spaceborn, Chakotay set a course back for the Mandalian world. They were a day early for the rendezvous. Most likely, _Voyager_ hadn’t even left the Mandal system yet. Course set, he turned to look at Tom, who was staring wide-eyed out at the stars. This was, Chakotay realized, most likely five-year-old Tom’s first time in space, or at least in deep space.

“Pretty neat, huh?” he asked Tom.

Tom nodded enthusiastically. Turning bright eyes on the Commander, he eagerly asked, “Can I fly it?”

Chakotay frowned. “I don’t think so, Tom. You have to learn a lot of things before you’re able to fly a shuttle.”

“But I know!” Tom informed him. “Daddy lets me fly the ‘timulators all the time. I’m good at it,” boasted Tom. “Even Daddy says so.”

“I don’t think so, Tom.”

“But I know what everything is!” protested Tom. He pointed to the controls on the panel before him, naming them off. His pronunciation at times left a little to be desired and some of the terminology he used was around twenty years out of date, but Chakotay couldn’t deny that he did seem to know what each of the controls did.

Finished, Tom sat back. “See?” He shot Chakotay a triumphant look. “Momma says I’m too smart for my britches,” he proudly proclaimed.

Chakotay laughed. “I think Momma’s right.” Hoping he wasn’t making a bad judgment call, Chakotay gave in. “All right, I’ll let you fly, but only for a few minutes, okay?”

Tom’s eyes lit up. “’Kay!”

“You’ll have to follow my commands. Think you can do that, cadet?” asked Chakotay, trying to make a game out of it for Tom.

“Yes, sir!” Tom’s face scrunched up in confusion. “Koty?”

“Yes, Tom?”

“Are you a captain like my daddy?”

Chakotay’s hand briefly went to his Maquis rank bar, realizing that it probably confused Tom not to see the regular Starfleet pips on his collar. “No, I’m a commander. You can call me, uh, Koty though. Now, why don’t you come over here where I can keep an eye on where you’re taking us.”

Tom scrambled over and up into Chakotay’s lap. Chakotay marveled at the boy’s openness. It was certainly different from the Tom Paris he was used to dealing with. He kept a close eye on things as Tom gradually took over the flight controls. They went through a few simple maneuvers and then onto some more complex ones. Chakotay was amazed at the deft touch a five-year-old Tom Paris already had for flight. He still had much to learn but it was astounding what he already seemed to instinctively know. No wonder he had turned out such a fine pilot. It was clearly in his blood. Finally, much to Tom’s disappointment, Chakotay took the controls back and placed them on autopilot.

“How about some dinner?” Chakotay suggested and proceeded to let Tom pick out the night’s menu.

* * *

Over a dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup, Chakotay was very aware of the glances Tom kept sending his way. “Something on your mind?” he finally asked.

Tom shrugged. “You don’t know much about kids, do you?” he said around a mouthful of grilled cheese.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Chakotay automatically corrected, realizing with a start how like his own father he had just sounded. He frowned.

Quickly swallowing what was in his mouth, Tom reassured Chakotay about his lack of knowledge where children were concerned. “Don’t worry, I can teach you.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Chakotay muttered under his breath. However, upon looking over at Tom, who was pursuing his meal with the exuberance that only children show, he had to grin as he remembered how the meal had started off. Young Tom had looked at him in exasperation when Chakotay had failed to produce a napkin for him and had proceeded to explain how Momma always said he managed to get more on him than in him. Looking at the napkin, tucked into the neckline of Tom’s shirt, Chakotay had to agree.

Dinner finished, Chakotay cleared things away before going up front to check on the shuttle’s progress and heading. Seeing that everything was in order, he turned to check Tom’s whereabouts and found him nodding off in one of the rear seats. It had been a rather eventful day for a five-year-old.

Chakotay knelt down next to Tom. “Tom? Time for bed.”

Half asleep, Tom let himself be led over to where Chakotay had flipped down one of the beds. As he got Tom settled and tucked him in, Tom sleepily spoke.

“Koty?”

“Um hmmm?”

“How come you always call me Tom?”

Chakotay’s brow furrowed. “What should I call you?”

“Tommy. Only Daddy calls me Tom. Even Lissy and Tina call me Tommy.”

“Lissy and Tina?”

“Bossy sisters. Jus’ ‘cause they’re bigger than me.” A huge yawn wiped out whatever else Tommy might have said. He flopped over on his side and, eyes heavy-lidded with sleep, peered up at Chakotay.

Chakotay met the innocent blue eyes, not yet hardened by what life had thrown at him. It was easy to forget this was Tom Paris or that he knew the adult Tom Paris. Or thought he knew him, he silently amended. He hadn’t been aware that Paris had siblings. It was slowly coming to him that there was a lot he didn’t know about Tom Paris. He knew what his official Starfleet record said but Chakotay had never attempted to dig any deeper, and Tom seldom talked about his family or life back in the Alpha Quadrant. Chakotay wondered if he talked with anyone about his life in the Alpha Quadrant—Harry maybe?—or did he keep it all to himself?

His musings were interrupted when Tommy suddenly sat up, looking around with wide eyes. He was obviously looking for something.

“What’s wrong, Tom-Tommy?”

“Theo! Where’s Theo?!” Tommy sounded half-panicked.

“Theo?” repeated a confused Chakotay.

“Theo. Teddy Theo.” Tears welled up in Tommy’s eyes. “Theo’s lost.”

“No, Tommy!” Chakotay hastened to placate him as he filed away one more piece of information about Tom Paris’ past. “He stayed with Mommy and Daddy. Remember? We’ll find you a new friend when we get to _Voyager_ , until Mommy and Daddy and Theo get back from their trip, okay?”

The mention of _Voyager_ seemed to get Tommy off the thought of the missing teddy bear. “ _Voyager?_ Is that the starship we’re gonna live on?”

Chakotay nodded. “Yes, it is.”

Settling back down in the bed and letting Chakotay once more tuck the covers in around him, Tommy pleaded, “Tell me a story about _Voyager_. Please, Koty?”

“Story? You mean a bedtime story?” Chakotay thought for a moment. This he could handle. Sitting on the deck next to the bed, he began his story about the brave Captain Janeway and her crew aboard the starship _Voyager_ , being very careful not to mention a certain pilot by name.

Minutes later, when Chakotay peeked at Tommy, he was sound asleep. Getting to his feet, _Voyager_ ’s first officer felt pleased with himself. This hadn’t been as difficult to handle as he had feared. Staring down at the young Tom Paris, who was most likely dreaming five-year-old dreams of starships, he frowned. What if the Doctor couldn’t reverse this? What if Tom were like this for the rest of his life, or at least for the next twelve to fifteen years, until he reached maturity again?

He shook those thoughts away. It did no good to worry about what-ifs. Once they were back aboard _Voyager_ , then they could figure out what came next.


	2. Guardianship

##  **CHAPTER 2**

**Guardianship**

Chakotay awoke from where he had been lightly dozing in the pilot’s chair to feel something tickling at his forehead. Cracking one eye open, he found Tom—no, Tommy, he corrected—standing beside him and tracing his tattoo with a finger.

“It don’t come off,” marveled Tommy.

“Doesn’t,” Chakotay automatically corrected. He waited patiently while Tommy finished tracing the tattoo. “It’s called a tattoo,” he explained.

“It never comes off?” asked a perplexed Tommy, clearly never having seen a tattoo before Chakotay’s.

“No. Never.”

“Neat,” enthused an obviously impressed Tommy.

Chakotay couldn’t help it—he laughed aloud. Tom Paris the child was very endearing. It was surprisingly easy to forget his previous reservations about the adult Tom Paris.

They quickly got the morning routine out of the way. Breakfast and then Tommy’s face and hands washed, and Tommy continuing Chakotay’s education by reminding him that kids were supposed to brush their teeth, something that had obviously been drilled into him.

The morning passed quickly. Chakotay discovered that Tommy was full of questions, most of them about _Voyager_ and flying, and Chakotay found, much to his surprise, that he enjoyed answering Tommy’s questions.

Just before lunch time, a monitor on the pilot’s console beeped. Chakotay checked the readouts. Apparently _Voyager_ had finished ahead of schedule as well. The sensors were picking up the starship traveling at warp four toward the shuttle.

Changing the forward view to a different magnification, _Voyager_ suddenly jumped into view. Chakotay watched Tommy lean forward, all his attention devoted to the starship. After gazing at it for a long minute, he turned to Chakotay.

“I’m gonna fly a starship like that one of these days,” he informed the Commander matter-of-factly.

“I’ve no doubt you will.” Chakotay reached forward to flick the comlink on and was rewarded with Janeway’s voice.

_“Captain Janeway to Shuttle Cochrane. Come in, please.”_

“Chakotay here, Captain.”

_“You’re early, Commander. Was your mission a success?”_

“In a manner of speaking,” replied Chakotay vaguely. “We obtained the star charts. There was a slight incident while we were there however.”

_“How slight?”_ Janeway’s voice had sharpened.

“I’d rather not discuss it over an open comlink, Captain. Once we’re aboard, could you have myself and . . . Tom beamed to Sickbay? I’ll explain there.”

Janeway could hear the underlying hesitation in Chakotay’s voice and realized he was sincere in his wish not to pursue this over the comlink.

_“Very well, Commander. I’ll see you then. Janeway out.”_

* * *

Janeway walked into Sickbay to hear the Doctor saying in an exasperated tone of voice, “I told you not to touch that, young man!” She watched as the Doctor snatched a medical instrument out of a young boy’s hand. Chakotay’s body partially blocked her view of the boy so she was unable to obtain clear view of him.

“Chakotay.”

Turning, her first officer quickly joined her by the door. “Where’s Tom?” she asked.

“You’re looking at him,” Chakotay said softly, his gaze directed at the biobed where the young boy sat, impatiently waiting for the Doctor to finish his examination.

Janeway clamped her lips tightly together to keep her mouth from falling open. Once she got a good look at the youngster, she could see that Chakotay was right. She’d seen a picture of the Paris family several years ago in Owen Paris’ office. Tom had been a little older in the picture but this was undeniably him.

“What happened?” she asked quietly.

Chakotay quickly explained.

“And you have no idea how this purification was performed?” asked Janeway.

Chakotay shook his head. “They had me locked up the whole time and Azwold refused to tell me anything. Tommy’s the only one who could tell us and I don’t think he even remembers it.”

Janeway’s brows rose. “Tommy?”

“He said his father was the only one who called him Tom.” Chakotay shrugged. “And Tommy seems to suit him.”

The Doctor, leaving Tommy in Kes’ capable hands, joined Chakotay and Janeway. “I’m afraid I don’t have good news, but it’s not all bad. I’m unable to determine how the Quizah managed to revert Mr. Paris to his five-year-old self. I’ll need time to run tests. I believe it may be possible to revert Mr. Paris to his adult form but it will require further study and will certainly not be accomplished overnight.”

“So we’ll have to find a way to take care of . . . Tommy in the meantime,” said Janeway.

“I thought that was already settled?” The Doctor looked at Chakotay.

Looking from one to the other, Janeway asked, “Am I missing something here, gentlemen?”

“Captain.” Chakotay hesitated, running a hand over the back of his neck in what Janeway had come to recognize as a gesture of agitation. “I didn’t know what to tell Tommy when he woke up after the purification. So I told him I was a friend of his parents and he would be staying with me for a while. Although,” Chakotay added with a rueful grin, “I think he was more excited about staying on a starship than staying with me.”

Kathryn Janeway smiled. “Well, Commander, it appears you’ve become guardian to a five-year-old boy. I understand they can be quite a handful.”

“What about the rest of the crew, Captain?” asked Chakotay. “They should be informed to avoid any slip-ups that could upset Tommy.”

Janeway nodded thoughtfully. “Keep Tommy in Sickbay for the next twenty minutes. I’ll make a shipwide announcement, excluding Sickbay. Now, I think it’s time I met young Tommy.”

Janeway led the way to the biobed. Upon reaching it, she smiled. “Hello, Tommy. I’m Captain Janeway. Welcome aboard _Voyager_.”

Tommy’s eyes grew round and he peered past Janeway to look at Chakotay then his gaze returned to Captain Janeway. “ _The_ Captain Janeway?”

Janeway turned a wry look on her first officer. “Chakotay, what have you been telling this child?”

“Bedtime stories,” he replied, a slight smile twisting up the corners of his mouth.

Turning back to Tommy, she said, “I guess I am _The_ Captain Janeway. What do you think of _Voyager_ so far, Tommy?”

Tommy’s face lit up. “Koty said he’d take me on a tour of the ship!”

_Koty?_ Kathryn Janeway mouthed in amusement at her first officer. Her amusement quickly died, however, when she realized that it could very well come to pass that the Doctor might not be able to restore Tom Paris to them. She watched as Tommy crooked a finger at Chakotay, motioning him to come closer.

Leaning in so that they were head to head, Tommy whispered in Chakotay’s ear, “Can we leave now? I don’t like it here. He’s grumpy.” Tommy’s pointed look indicated that _he_ was the Doctor.

The Doctor, overhearing Tommy’s comment, loudly cleared his throat. Ignoring the EMH, Chakotay told Tommy, “We’ll go to my quarters in a few minutes, okay? Then, maybe later, we’ll take a tour of the ship.”

Tommy’s frown disappeared at that pronouncement.

Smiling, Janeway told Tommy, “Make sure Commander Chakotay takes you on a tour of my ship, Tommy.” With a “See you later,” she headed for the exit, motioning to Chakotay on her way out to remind him to wait twenty minutes before leaving.

* * *

Tuvok and Harry Kim both noticed the bemused look on the Captain’s face when she returned to the Bridge. Tuvok relinquished the Bridge to the Captain and returned to his station, focusing his attention on his duties, but Harry continued to discreetly watch the Captain. He had a suspicion that something unexpected had happened on Commander Chakotay and Tom’s mission. Unusual happenings on away missions that involved Tom Paris were starting to become commonplace. It wasn’t Tom’s fault. He just always seemed to be on the missions where the unusual occurred.

Janeway thumbed the all-call at her station to address _Voyager_ ’s crew. “This is Captain Janeway. Commander Chakotay and Lieutenant Paris have returned from their mission to Quizah and I’m happy to report they were successful in obtaining the needed star charts. I’m afraid our crew did encounter a problem while on Quizah. Not familiar with Quizah custom, Lieutenant Paris inadvertently broke one of their laws and was punished by Quizah custom.”

In Engineering, B’Elanna stopped what she was doing to listen to the Captain’s announcement, as did her Engineering crew. Her eyes widened as the Captain explained what had happened to Tom Paris. She had developed a healthy respect for Paris from the time they had been imprisoned together by the Vidiians. He had shown her then that there was more beneath that carefree surface than the “pig” she had originally dubbed him. B’Elanna frowned, hating to see Tom have to endure yet one more hurdle in his life. She’d have to check with Harry later and get the scoop on everything.

Back on the Bridge, Janeway concluded her shipwide announcement. “We are working on a solution to this problem but in the meantime, please remember that he is a child and should be treated accordingly. Thank you.” Finished, she surveyed the Bridge for reaction. Tuvok merely nodded his understanding and acceptance of the situation. Baytart, at the helm in Tom’s absence, showed his amused disbelief but quickly turned back to the helm when he noticed the Captain’s eyes on him. Harry looked as if he were having difficulty digesting it. Rising to her feet, Janeway moved back to his station.

“He’s still Tom Paris, Harry,” she said quietly. “And he still needs your friendship.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Putting a hand on his shoulder, she gave it a slight squeeze. “We’ll get him back, Harry. We won’t stop trying until we figure out how to reverse it.”


	3. I'm Gonna Be a Pilot!

##  **CHAPTER 3**

**I’m Gonna Be a Pilot!**

Chakotay, Tommy’s hand in his, exited his quarters for the promised tour of the ship. Both had on a fresh change of clothing. Even that simple maneuver had required some expertise. Chakotay, having no idea what a five-year-old liked to wear, had let Tommy look over the options the replicator had to offer. He had to veto Tommy’s first two choices. Dressing up like a space pirate wasn’t Chakotay’s idea of everyday wear for a five-year-old. Tommy had finally settled on a blue and maroon outfit because he liked the baseball cap that came with it.

Now, as they ventured forth, Chakotay found himself going into a protective mode with the youngster. There were still some aboard _Voyager_ who were not overly fond of Tom Paris. Chakotay hated the thought that five-year-old Tommy might possibly need protecting against thoughtless remarks from those few. He hoped, given the Captain’s shipwide announcement, that the crew would have the sense not to say anything stupid to Tommy that could upset him.

“Where to first, Tommy?”

“The Bridge!”

Chakotay grinned. “How about we save that for last?” Privately, he thought he’d better call ahead for permission but had a feeling Janeway would allow a Bridge visit for young Tom Paris. Deciding Engineering would be a good place to start, they headed for the nearest turbolift.

* * *

Joe Carey, noticing a sudden silence had hit the Engineering deck, looked up from where he was working on running a diagnostic on the impulse drive. Everyone had stopped what they were working on and were staring toward the entrance to Engineering. Joe craned his neck to look behind him and saw Commander Chakotay entering with—Joe felt his mouth dropping open and quickly clamped it shut. He had heard the Captain’s announcement but hearing and seeing were two entirely different things. He found himself staring, like the rest of the Engineering staff, at the blond boy whose blue-eyed gaze was moving around Engineering in wonderment. Joe recognized that look. He’d seen it in his own boys’ faces a few times.

Carey snapped out of his frozen stance when he realized that the Commander was waiting for some sort of acknowledgment from whomever was in charge, which was Joe Carey at the moment since Lieutenant Torres was currently deep in a Jeffries tube performing some delicate repairs. Nodding to Ensign Vorik to indicate he should take over the diagnostic he had been running, Joe moved toward the Commander and the youngster. Joe found it impossible to think of the boy as Tom Paris.

“Commander,” greeted Carey, “can I help you?”

Tommy chose that moment to tug on Chakotay’s hand and say impatiently, “Can we see the warp core, Koty? Can we?”

Joe, reacting on instinct and years of experienced fatherhood, crouched down before the boy. He was rather startled for a moment to actually be able to see a younger Tom Paris in the boy’s features, but his parental mode quickly kicked in and he smiled at the youngster. Holding out his hand, he said, “Hi. My name’s Joe. What’s yours?”

Tommy took his hand and shook it in a very adult fashion. “I’m Tommy.”

“Well, Tommy, so you want to see the warp core, eh?”

Tommy nodded enthusiastically. “Can we?”

Joe looked up to see the Commander watching them, a faint smile on his face. “Sure we can,” he said. Standing up, he said, “I believe you know the way, Commander?”

Above Tommy, Chakotay mouthed a ‘thank you’ to Carey for stepping in. He was very aware of all the eyes in Engineering on them. Tommy, however, appeared to be oblivious to the attention he was receiving. He was still eyeballing all the nifty things in Engineering as they made their way toward the warp core.

Standing at the railing surrounding the warp core, both Chakotay and Carey looked down at Tommy, who was hanging on the railing as he peered underneath it at the pulsing blue core. His eyes were wide with rapture. Carey looked back at the warp core with fresh eyes. One tended to get a little jaded about it when you worked around it all the time. It really was a magnificent piece of engineering though.

Slipping underneath the railing, Joe held out his hand to Tommy. “Would you like to touch it?” he asked, coming close to chuckling aloud at the look of awe Tommy was bestowing upon the warp core. Tommy quickly took Joe up on his offer.

Kneeling next to Tommy by the warp core, Carey said, “It’s all right. Go ahead and touch it.”

Tommy reached out and placed his small hand on the pulsing core. He drew back his hand in surprise then placed it there again. “I can feel it!” he exclaimed, turning shining eyes on Carey.

Joe’s smile widened when Tommy leaned forward and placed his ear to the core. His eyes closed and a huge grin overtook his face. “It’s humming,” Tommy said softly, awestruck.

Joe shook his head. He’d swear Tommy was an engineer in the making if he didn’t already know he ended up a pilot. Matching Tommy’s quiet tone, Joe said, “She even talks to you sometimes if you listen closely enough.” He patted the warp core fondly.

Chakotay watched the two of them crouch on the deck before the warp core. He couldn’t hear what was being said from where he stood, but Tommy was obviously enthralled with the warp core and Joe was very good with kids. Chakotay’s smile faltered. Joe Carey should be good with kids, he acknowledged to himself. He had two boys back in the Alpha Quadrant.

* * *

Nearly an hour later, Chakotay and Tommy were finally making their way out of Engineering. “Thank you, Joe,” said Chakotay, smiling. “You give an outstanding tour of Engineering. I’ll be sure to let your boss know that. By the way, where is B’Elanna today?”

“You know her, Commander. Likes those tough problems. She’s buried herself in a Jeffries tube for the day.” Kneeling down to Tommy’s level, Carey said, “You’re welcome back here anytime you want, Tommy. Maybe next time we’ll check out a Jeffries tube.”

Tommy looked up at Chakotay hopefully. “Can we?”

“We’ll see,” Chakotay told him. Turning to Carey, he said, “Lieutenant, we’ll let you get back to your work. Thanks for the tour.”

“Anytime, Commander.”

As they turned to leave, Tommy called over his shoulder, “’Bye, Joe!”

“’Bye, Tommy!”

Carey turned back to find all eyes of the Engineering crew on him. “What are you all looking at? We’ve got work to do. Let’s get busy, people.”

Whistling a tune he had taught his sons on his last leave in the Alpha Quadrant before they had become marooned in the Delta, Carey returned to his own station.

* * *

Realizing the tour in Engineering had taken more time than he thought it would, Chakotay decided they would have to save exploring the rest of _Voyager_ for another day. They still had time for the Bridge though. He tapped his combadge. “Chakotay to Janeway.”

_“Janeway here, Commander.”_

“Captain, I’m giving our guest a tour of the ship. He’d very much like to see the Bridge, with your permission of course.”

A smile in her voice, Janeway responded, _“I think that can be arranged, Commander. Bring him right up.”_

“On our way. Chakotay out.”

As they boarded the turbolift, Chakotay couldn’t help but think how surprised he had been that Tommy had been so well-behaved during their tour of Engineering. Must be his Starfleet upbringing, mused Chakotay. The boy seemed to know that touching things without permission aboard a starship was not permitted.

Reaching the Bridge, Chakotay stepped out. Tommy’s hand tightened around his in excitement. Captain Janeway was waiting for them. “So, you wanted to see the Bridge, Tommy?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Tommy replied almost shyly, giving Janeway a start to have those words that Tom so frequently used tossed out at her from a five-year-old Tom Paris’ mouth. Chakotay gave her a slight shrug that said, ‘What did you expect?’

Janeway held out her hand to Tommy. “Come along, Tommy. Let me show you my Bridge.” Once Tommy had taken her hand, she led him first to the Ops Station where Harry Kim was trying very hard not to stare at the youngster.

“Tommy, this is Ensign Kim. He’s our Operations officer.” Tommy smiled shyly at Harry. Chakotay had no idea where this sudden fit of shyness was popping up from in the thus far gregarious boy. Maybe he was finding the starship a bit awe-inspiring or maybe it was all the Starfleet uniforms.

“Harry,” prodded the Captain, “say hello to our guest.”

Harry smiled self-consciously. “Hello, Tommy. Having fun aboard _Voyager_?”

Tommy nodded enthusiastically, his temporary fit of shyness forgotten. “Koty’s showing me ever’thing!”

Smiling, Janeway steered Tommy over to Tuvok’s station. “And this is Lieutenant Tuvok, Tommy. He’s our Tactical/Security officer.”

Tommy’s face got very solemn as he stared at the tall Vulcan. Janeway received the impression he had been around Vulcans before. “Welcome aboard _Voyager_ , Tommy,” greeted Tuvok.

“Thank you, sir.” Tommy’s head cocked quizzically. “Are you the person who shoots the phasers?”

“When it is warranted, yes. Would you like to see the phaser controls?”

“Can I?” Tommy’s eyes brightened considerably.

“Of course.” Tuvok knelt down and Tommy went trustingly into his arms, stretching his own around the back of Tuvok’s shoulders as the Vulcan rose to his full height. With Tommy in his arms, Tuvok pointed out the various controls on his tactical board, explaining each of their functions.

Backing up toward Chakotay, Janeway commented under her breath, “I sometimes forget Tuvok has children of his own.”

Chakotay nodded thoughtfully as he watched the dark head and the light head bent close together over the tactical board.

Once Tuvok had relinquished Tommy back to the Captain and Chakotay, they took him over to the Engineering station and then down to the helm. “This is where we pilot _Voyager_ from, Tommy. Ensign Baytart has the helm today.”

Baytart gave a curt nod in Tommy’s direction and then went back to the helm readings, ignoring the boy. That didn’t seem to faze Tommy. He stood close to the helm, eyes traveling over all the readouts and controls. To Janeway it looked like love at first sight. He may only be five years old, she thought, but it’s obvious he’s already in love with flying.

"Captain," Harry Kim interrupted her musings. "I'm reading _–”_

“–a nebula ahead,” Baytart finished, cutting in on Kim. “Suggest we maneuver around it, Captain.”

“Permission to change course granted, Ensign Baytart,” Janeway responded.

As Baytart began changing the course, he was disconcerted by Tommy’s play-by-play accounting of his actions. A couple of times, to Baytart’s chagrin, Tommy anticipated him and called out the next move before he got to it.

Once the course change had been made, Janeway, smiling, said, “It appears you may have some competition for your job, Ensign.”

At the back of the Bridge behind his Ops station, Harry had to smile. Baytart was not one of Tom’s biggest fans. To have been shown up by a five-year-old Tom Paris would probably gall the man to no end.

Unsmiling, Baytart replied, “Yes, ma’am.”

Janeway led Tommy back to the command center and allowed him to crawl up into the captain’s chair. She took Chakotay’s seat while Chakotay stood nearby. “So, you like to fly, Tommy?”

“I’m gonna be a pilot when I grow up,” he informed her. Tommy’s excited eyes traveled to Chakotay’s. “Can I tell her about the shuttle, Koty? Can I?”

Eyes crinkling with suppressed laughter, Chakotay said, “Go ahead.”

Bouncing in the chair in his excitement, Tommy turned back to the Captain. “Koty let me fly the shuttle!”

Janeway turned to look at her first officer. Eyes twinkling but voice mock stern, she asked, “Koty, is this true?”

Chakotay’s smile widened. He had a feeling that particular nickname wasn’t going to disappear anytime soon. “Don’t worry, Captain. He was properly supervised. I think Cadet Paris has a definite future as a pilot.” He turned his attention back to the eager and bright face. “I think we’ve taken up enough of the Captain’s time, Tommy. And it’s nearly time for dinner. Maybe the Captain will let you visit the Bridge again on another day.”

“I think that’s a fine idea,” agreed Janeway, delighting in the unrestrained grin that flashed over Tommy’s face.


	4. Bedtime Story

##  **CHAPTER 4**

**Bedtime Story**

His small hand firmly gripped in Chakotay’s bigger one, Tommy’s head swung back and forth trying to take in all the sights in the mess hall as they stepped inside. There were more people here than he’d seen anywhere else on _Voyager_ , except maybe in Engineering. 

When Chakotay approached the buffet to look over the dinner selections, Tommy quickly grew impatient. He wasn’t tall enough to see whatever it was that Koty was staring at and since Koty refused to let go of his hand, Tommy couldn’t go exploring elsewhere either. He tugged on Koty’s hand again, finally getting the message through to the Commander that this wasn’t working for him. Going around to the counter in front of Neelix’s kitchen, Chakotay lifted Tommy up to sit there. A big smile in place, Neelix joined them.

“This must be Tommy! I’ve heard all about you. My name’s Neelix, Tommy.”

Tommy turned to find the speaker of the jovial voice and was confronted with a being the likes of which he’d never seen before. Not even in his picture books back home. His eyes traveled over the being, taking it all in and then he blurted out, “What are you?” 

“Tommy!” Chakotay admonished, feeling more like a parent by the minute.

Neelix laughed loudly. Still chuckling, he said, “It’s all right, Commander. I like seeing healthy curiosity in the young as well as the old.” Turning to Tommy, he said, “I’m a Talaxian. Here.” He took Tommy’s small hand and placed the boy’s fingers around his whiskers and gave a tug. “Yeeouch!” he exclaimed in exaggerated distress. “See?” Neelix said. “I’m as real as you are.” 

Tommy giggled. 

“Go on,” Neelix encouraged. “Give them another yank.” 

Tommy did so. 

Neelix yelled in mock pain. “Ouch!” 

Tommy giggled again. 

“I can see the two of you are going to get along well,” commented Chakotay dryly. 

Tommy leaned forward to closely examine Neelix. Curiosity won out again. “Do they come off?” he asked. 

Neelix and Chakotay shared a confused look. “Do what come off?” asked Neelix. 

“Your spots.” 

“My spots?” Neelix looked nonplussed for a moment before he took Tommy’s hand in his and let him feel his spots. “No, they don’t come off. See?”

Still looking confused, Tommy stared for a long minute at Neelix then his gaze went to Chakotay. Face brightening in sudden comprehension, he turned back to Neelix and asked, “Are they tattoos? Like Koty’s?” 

“No, they’re part of my skin,” answered Neelix patiently, sharing a smile with Chakotay over Tommy’s inquisitiveness. 

Tommy frowned, clearly not understanding. Chakotay could see the mental wheels churning as the youngster tried to process this. Face brightening once more in understanding, Tommy said, “Freckles? I get freckles when I go out in the sun.”

Neelix, shaking his head as he shared another amused look with Chakotay, replied, “No. They’re permanent.”

Tommy nodded sagely. “Beauty marks.”

Chakotay barely kept himself from laughing aloud. His mouth quirked dangerously.

Neelix’s amusement turned to puzzlement. “Beauty marks?” he repeated.

“Momma says freckles that don’t go ‘way are beauty marks.” 

Chakotay turned away to hide the wide grin creasing his face. 

“Beauty marks,” considered Neelix. “You know what, Tommy? I think you’re right. They’re beauty marks.” That business taken care of, Neelix returned to his role of chef. “So, what would you two gentlemen like for dinner?” Neelix indicated the various food dishes spread out on the buffet. “We’ve got quite a variety tonight. I’m sure you’ll find something you like,” he encouraged. 

Others were entering the mess hall to eat so Chakotay, setting Tommy back on the floor, proceeded to the buffet to dish up plates for the two of them. He hoped Tommy wasn’t finicky and refused to eat any of Neelix’s cooking.

Harry Kim, sliding into the line in front of Chakotay and Tommy, turned when the Commander addressed him. “Ensign, why don’t you join us for dinner? I’m sure Tommy would like some company other than mine.”

Harry looked down at the miniature Tom Paris, who was standing on tiptoe trying his best to see what was on the buffet. He swallowed nervously. He hadn’t been around kids much. Then Janeway’s words came back to him: _He’s still Tom Paris and he still needs your friendship_. “Of course, Commander. I’d love to.” 

“Good. Maybe you can take Tommy and his plate to a table while I get us something to drink?” 

Harry’s nervousness returned but all he said was, “Sure.”

Looking down, Chakotay said, “Tommy, you remember Harry, don’t you? Go with him and I’ll be there in a minute.”

Tommy stared at Harry for a long moment as if sizing him up before evidently deciding he liked what he saw. Tugging on Harry’s uniform pants, he encouraged him in the direction of a particular table. “Let’s sit by the window. I like the stars!”

Harry smiled. Tom might not have put it quite that way but the sentiment was all Paris. They made their way over to a table near the viewport, Harry letting Tommy sit on the side of the table where he could view the stars rolling by as _Voyager_ warped through space.

He watched as Tommy got his first good look at dinner. “Blue ‘tatoes?!” Tommy exclaimed. “Neat!” He speared one on a fork and happily munched on it. Harry shook his head. The adult Tom would have sniffed at it suspiciously and then probably waited for Harry to take a bite first to see if he spit it back out or swallowed.

Once Chakotay joined them, Harry and Chakotay’s conversation evolved into adult conversation. Tommy was content to watch the stars whizzing by while he ate dinner.

“Don’t play with your food, Tommy,” admonished Chakotay.

Harry watched in amusement as Tommy held up a slimy looking brownish-orange noodle between his fingers. “It smells, Koty,” he complained, his nose wrinkling. “Smells bad!”

Chakotay looked down at his own plate, realizing he had unconsciously chosen not to eat his noodles either after that first bite. Harry’s plate, likewise, held cold uneaten noodles. He couldn’t very well force a child to eat what he himself wouldn’t eat.

Tommy waved a gooey noodle in front of Chakotay. “See? It stinks!”

Harry barely covered a grin when Chakotay jerked back from the unexpected noodle in his face.

“You’ve made your point, Tommy. Put the noodle back on your plate. You don’t have to eat them, but no playing with your food.” Chakotay looked over Tommy’s plate. He had cleaned up everything else except the noodle mess. “You still hungry?”

Tommy shook his head just as a wide yawn threatened to split his face.

“Looks like someone’s tired,” observed Harry.

“Been a busy day,” admitted Chakotay, looking a little tired himself. “And he didn’t have a nap today,” he added as it occurred to him that perhaps he should have.

Tommy sat up indignantly. “I’m a big boy! No more naps!”

Giving Tommy’s hands and mouth a quick swipe with a napkin, Chakotay said, “We’ll see. At any rate, I think it’s time to be getting you to bed.” Standing, he pulled Tommy to his feet. Tommy lounged lazily against Chakotay’s leg, feeling a need to put his thumb in his mouth, but he was a big boy and didn’t do that anymore.

Chakotay looked down at him. “Tired? Want a lift back to my quarters?” Tommy didn’t protest when Chakotay picked him up and cradled him against his chest. He lay his head on the Commander’s shoulder, turning his head to watch the stars once more while Chakotay spoke to Harry.

“I need to talk to you sometime tomorrow about this.” He nodded toward the child in his arms. “Maybe on your lunch hour?”

Harry nodded. “All right, Commander. Night, Tommy,” he called as Chakotay made his way out of the mess hall. Tommy sleepily waved at him.

Once outside the mess hall, Chakotay’s thoughts turned to what a bedtime routine for a five-year-old might entail. Remembering all the baths his mother had inflicted on him when he was young, Chakotay said to the half-asleep boy, “You need a bath, Tommy.”

Tommy snuggled further into Chakotay’s shoulder and murmured sleepily, “No bath. Tired.”

“Okay,” agreed Chakotay, thinking there would plenty of time for a bath in the morning. “No bath tonight.” He didn’t see Tommy’s lips curl into a smile of triumph over having once more defeated the bath monster.

Knowing he had some ship’s business to attend to yet tonight, Chakotay decided he could rough it on the couch for one night and let Tommy have the bed. He’d have to talk to the Captain tomorrow about allowing him some replicator rations for some essentials for Tommy. The clean clothing for him today had nearly wiped out Chakotay’s account.

* * *

Laying the half-asleep child on the bed, Chakotay suddenly realized he had no pajamas for Tommy. T-shirt, he decided. It would drown Tommy but it would work for one night. He went to his closet and pulled out a dark blue T-shirt. Turning back toward the bed, he noticed that Tommy was sitting up, looking more alert now, and watching him.

Holding up the T-shirt, he asked, “How’s this for a night shirt? We’ll work on getting you some pajamas tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Tommy said agreeably. He started struggling out of his clothes. Chakotay knelt down to help him, pulling his shoes off as Tommy struggled with his shirt. Finally his head popped free. Stripping down to his underwear, Tommy waited expectantly for Chakotay to slide the T-shirt over his head. Chakotay paused in mid-slide.

“Bathroom?” he quizzed.

“Oh yeah!” Tommy agreed exuberantly. He ran for the bathroom, clad only in his underwear, did his duty, and was back before Chakotay could decide if this was an activity he needed to monitor or not. Shaking his head, Chakotay slid the T-shirt over Tommy’s head and pulled his arms through the sleeves. It was way too big for him of course, but Tommy didn’t seem to mind.

Chakotay pulled the bedclothes back and watched as Tommy climbed under them. He then pulled the covers up and tucked them in around Tommy. Within seconds, the youngster had popped back up. “I want Theo.” Tommy stared at Chakotay with big blue eyes.

Chakotay sat on the bed next to the now wide-awake boy. “We discussed this last night, Tommy. Remember? Theo went with your parents on their trip.”

Tommy continued to stare at him expectantly.

Chakotay sighed. “But I did promise to find you a new friend, didn’t I?” Chakotay’s eyes searched the room, looking for something that would placate Tommy until he had enough replicator rations for something of that sort. His eyes fell on the closet and he remembered the box of his personal possessions sitting in the back of the closet that B’Elanna had beamed over from _Crazy Horse_ when the Maquis had abandoned their ship for _Voyager_. He had a sudden idea of what might work. “Hold on a minute,” he told Tommy. “I think I’ve got just the friend for you.”

Stepping into the closet, Chakotay knelt by a box, pulling its lid off. Searching through it, he finally pulled out what looked to be a straw doll of some sort. He brought it to his nose, inhaling the sweet grass that had been preserved in the doll. It was a family heirloom of sorts, passed down from mother to daughter on their wedding days. In his family’s case, there had been no daughter for his mother to give it to and when his mother had passed on, Chakotay’s father had given the doll to his son, expressing his hope that one day he would have grandchildren who would play with the doll. How attached could Tommy get to it in one night? They would pick out a new doll from the replicator tomorrow, once he received additional rations.

Mind made up, Chakotay exited the closet, doll in hand. Sitting back down on the bed, he handed the doll to Tommy. “Let’s get you tucked in here and I’ll tell you a bedtime story about the magical sweet-grass doll.”

Tommy obligingly snuggled under the covers and, after a quick examination of the doll and apparently approving of what he saw, clasped the doll in his arms. Pulling the covers up around him, Chakotay began his tale:

_In the Old Time there lived an Indian youth called Kayak, the youngest of seven sons. He was, in spite of his youth, the cleverest of the sons. He could swim better, shoot straighter, and fight harder than any of them. He seemed to do all things better than they, and this was because he first thought what he had to do, and then practiced until he could do it well._

_His brothers were too lazy to go to all that trouble and, instead of admiring Kayak’s energy, they were jealous of him and made his life miserable in any way they could. They even told false tales about him to his father. At last, the youth became so unhappy he decided to run away from home. Fearing his brothers might run after him and bring him back, he thought of a way to run faster than they could._

_He shot an arrow into the air and ran after it, trying to catch it before it fell. He did this over and over, in secret, until he could outrun the arrow. At last, he could go like the wind._

_It was time to set out, and Kayak made his secret preparations. His mother, the only one who loved him and who shared his secret, wished him good fortune and gave him a new pair of moccasins to wear on his journey. They were beautifully made of the finest doeskin, and Kayak wore them with pride. He embraced his mother and slipped away. Shooting his arrow and then outrunning it, he was soon far beyond pursuit._

Chakotay paused in his storytelling, fully expecting to see that Tommy had fallen asleep since he had been so quiet. Tommy, however, was wide awake and listening intently, so Chakotay continued. 

_Now Glooscap, the Great Chief, knew all about Kayak, and admired his wit and determination. However, he knew too that cleverness is not everything. Sometimes ambition is a hard and selfish thing. Did Kayak have a good heart? Was he honest? Was he kind? Glooscap determined to find out for himself._

_Putting on the disguise of a poor old Indian, he came down from Blomidon and waited on the forest path. When he heard Kayak coming, Glooscap let a small box fall from his hand, as if he had dropped it accidentally, and walked on pretending to be old and weary and foot sore._

_Striding along cheerfully, Kayak saw the box on the path and picked it up. It was made of birch bark, decorated with porcupine quills, and it felt heavy. He was about to open it, when he caught sight of the old man on the path ahead._

_For a moment the youth was tempted to keep the fine box for himself, but he knew that would be dishonest. So he ran after the old man, calling, “Kwah-ee, Grandfather! Look! You have dropped something.”_

_Glooscap took the box and said in an old man’s quavering voice, “Thank you, my son. This contains something very precious, and I am grateful to you for finding it.”_

_“It’s lucky I came along,” said Kayak cheerfully. “Can you tell me where this path leads, grandfather?”_

_“It goes a very long way,” said the disguised Glooscap, “to a Micmac village on the edge of a lake called Kedgemakoogee.” And he sighed heavily, “Yes, a very long way, and the path is full of rocks and thistles.” He looked down at his feet, and Kayak looked too. Why, the poor old fellow had no moccasins! His feet were all cut and bleeding! In a moment, Kayak had pulled off his own moccasins and was putting them on the old man’s feet._

_“I am young,” he said, as the old man protested. “I shall run so fast, I shan’t feel the rocks and thistles,” and he prepared to go on his way._

_“Wait!” the old man said, and thrust the box into Kayak’s hands. “This is yours now. I have no further use for it.” And before Kayak could say thank-you, he was gone. Down the path? Up the path? Into the bushes? Kayak rubbed his eyes in amazement. The old man just was not there anymore!_

_He looked at the box in his hand and lifted the cover, but what a disappointment. Inside, there was only a doll, made of the sweet-smelling hay the Indians call sweet grass, just such a doll as an Indian child would play with. Kayak shook his head ruefully.”_

“My doll?” asked Tommy.

“Maybe,” smiled Chakotay, “or a doll very much like yours.” Tommy hugged the doll closer to him as Chakotay continued, his hand reaching out to touch the doll and gently caress Tommy’s tousled hair.

_“What shall I do with you, I wonder. I’m much too old to play with dolls.”_

_To his astonishment, a voice at once replied._

_“I am the servant of him who holds me in his hand. Whatever you ask of me, Master, that will I do.”_

_The voice came from the doll! Kayak could hardly believe his ears. This was magic. Frightened suddenly, he put the doll back and closed the lid. He suspected now that the old man had been a magician, and you never can tell with magicians. Sometimes they play tricks on you. He would not use the doll’s magic, he decided, unless he felt it absolutely necessary._

_Late that day, Kayak arrived at the Indian village on the lake of Kedgemakoogee, and went into the first teepee he saw. A kindly squaw gave him food and told him about the village and its people._

A giggle interrupted Chakotay’s telling of the story. “What?” he asked Tommy, having a hunch what had brought on the giggle in the first place as he remembered his own youthful reaction to this story.

“Kedgemakoogee,” Tommy giggled.

“You think that’s a strange name?”

“Jus’ sounds funny. Kedgemakoogee.” He giggled again.

Shaking his head in amusement, Chakotay continued the story, hoping Tommy would soon settle down into sleep.

_Through the open door of the teepee, Kayak saw a young maid pass, and cried out, “What maid is that? She is beautiful!”_

_“That is Seboosis,” the old squaw replied, “the Chief’s daughter.”_

_Kayak turned eagerly to the old woman._

_“Will you make an evening visit, Grandmother, and tell the Chief I am tired of living alone?”_

_Kayak was saying, you see, in the Indian fashion, that he wished her to ask for the girl in marriage. But the old woman shook her head doubtfully._

_“I will go if you insist,” she said, “but I fear Magooch means her to marry a man of our own tribe, a lazy useless fellow called Toobe.”_

_“Try anyway,” begged Kayak. “Go tonight!”_

_So the old woman went that evening to the Chief’s teepee and told him that Kayak was tired of living alone and wished to marry his daughter._

_“Kayak?” growled Magooch impatiently. “Who is Kayak?”_

_She explained that he was the handsome stranger who had just come to the village._

Chakotay glanced over at Tommy. He smiled when he saw that Tommy was sound asleep, the sweet-grass doll clutched to his chest. A faint rosy blush graced his cheeks. Chakotay’s fingertips touched Tommy’s forehead, brushing at the wavy locks of hair that tried to curl around his fingertips. His expression sobered and grew troubled as he stared at the sleeping boy. The Doctor had made no promises as to whether he could reverse the Quizah purification or not. What if it couldn’t be reversed? What if they never got Tom Paris back?

Troubled, Chakotay turned down the lights in the sleeping area, leaving the light in the bathroom on dim in case Tommy woke disoriented during the night, and retired to the outer room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _[Sweet Grass Doll](http://indians.org/welker/doll.htm)_ : This is a story handed down through the generations of the Wabanaki people.


	5. Battle of the Bath

##  **CHAPTER 5**

**Battle of the Bath**

Tommy awoke early, as per his usual routine, the next morning. He spent some time rolling around in the huge bed playing with “Fred” as he had dubbed the doll before crawling out of the bed and padding out to the main room, all the while trying not to trip over the hem of his large night shirt. Coming to a halt in front of the couch where Koty lay stretched out sleeping, Tommy stood staring at him, waiting for him to wake up.

* * *

Chakotay flipped over from his back to his side, no longer fully asleep but not quite awake yet either. Sensing he was being watched, he slowly opened his eyes. Tommy stood about a meter away solemnly watching him. He still wore the oversized T-shirt and held the sweet-grass doll clutched in one arm.

Seeing Chakotay’s eyes were open, Tommy informed him, “We’re hungry.”

“We?”

Tommy held out the doll for Chakotay’s inspection. “Fred and me.”

Chakotay’s brow rose. “Fred?”

“My grandpa has a dog named Fred,” Tommy informed him, as if that explained everything.

It was too early to argue over a doll’s name, Chakotay decided as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the couch. He ran a hand over his face, trying to clear away the cobwebs. “Hungry, huh? What do you usually have for breakfast?” He’d decided last night they would eat breakfast in his quarters this morning so they could fit a bath in afterwards—the bath Tommy should have had yesterday if he hadn’t weaseled out of it.

Tommy shrugged. “Cereal.”

Standing, Chakotay took a moment to stretch out the kinks. “Let’s go check what kind of cereal the replicator has for us.”

* * *

Once breakfast was over, Chakotay quickly cleared the table and then went into the bathroom. Hitting a switch, the shower transformed into a bathtub—one of the perks of being on the command staff. Activating the water, Chakotay knelt down next to the tub, water flowing over his hand as he tested its temperature.

“What’s ya doin’?”

He turned to find Tommy standing in the doorway. “Bath time, Tommy. Why don’t you–” He didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence. Tommy was out the door like a shot. Chakotay began to get a sneaking suspicion that young Mr. Paris didn’t like baths.

Shutting the bath water off and quickly following him, he caught up with Tommy in the outer room. Tommy backed away from him, pleading, “No, bath, Koty! Please!”

“Tommy, come on,” coaxed Chakotay. “Baths aren’t that bad.”

“Baths are yucky!”

Chakotay made a grab for Tommy, but the little body slid past him, eluding him. Tommy put a chair between himself and the Commander. This game of tag persisted for several minutes. Finally, his patience wearing thin, Chakotay snatched Tommy up, heaved him over a shoulder and headed straight for the bathroom.

“No!” Tommy screamed, not in fear but in denial. The bath monster had him! He squirmed and pushed against Chakotay’s hold on him to no avail.

As Chakotay strode through the bathroom door with a wriggling Tommy in his grasp, he quickly divested the boy of the large T-shirt, pulled the underwear off and, checking to make sure the water was still warm, plopped one unenthusiastic little boy into the tub.

Tommy started to climb to his feet, but a firm hand on the top of his head held him down. He was a goner; he just knew it.

Chakotay felt the fight leave Tommy’s body as he reluctantly sank back into the bathtub. “You going to stay there?” he asked.

Tommy didn’t answer, just stared downward. Chakotay began to feel bad. Maybe Tommy had a phobia about baths or water or something. Then Tommy spoke quietly, but the pout in his voice was in full bloom.

“There’s no bubbles.”

Chakotay stared at the tub of water— _clear_ water. Bubble bath! Of course! Staring at Tommy, Chakotay could see he wasn’t afraid of the bath; he just plain didn’t like them. Seeing a possible compromise for future use, Chakotay said, “If you promise to behave next time and not make me chase you down for your bath, I promise we’ll have a bubble bath, okay?”

“With toys?” Tommy gazed up at him and Chakotay wondered if, even at five years of age, Tom Paris knew how brutal those blue eyes could be when combined with an innocent expression.

“With toys,” Chakotay confirmed softly.

Tommy considered this for a long moment. “Okay.”

To Chakotay’s surprise, that was the end of the bargaining. Tommy settled down for the bath and several minutes later, Chakotay lifted a wet little boy from the tub, drying him with a large towel. He was glad he hadn’t put his uniform on yet this morning because he was nearly as soaked as Tommy. Giving Tommy’s hair a final rub, he said, “Okay, you’re free.”

Chakotay couldn’t help but grin as he watched the bare bottom quickly disappear out the door. He finished mopping up the mess from the bath before checking on what Tommy was up to. He had reclaimed Fred, whom he had dropped when Chakotay had carted him off for his bath, and was leaning against the couch playing with Fred and something else. Chakotay leaned in closer to see what he had in his hand and caught his breath.

Reaching out, he carefully plucked the small carved stone from Tommy’s hand. “This isn’t to play with, Tommy,” he told the youngster as he set the carved dream stone his grandfather had given him on a shelf out of Tommy’s reach.

“Is it special?”

Chakotay’s gaze lingered on Tommy. Children had such a simple way of defining things. He sometimes wished adults could be so accommodating. “Yes, it’s special, Tommy. Maybe I’ll tell you about it some day. Right now, we need to see about getting you dressed. You can’t run around in the buff all day.”

“Buff? Wha’s buff?”

“Never mind,” smiled Chakotay.

“Buff,” Tommy tried the new word out. “Buffffffff.” He grinned at Chakotay, an infectious grin that the Commander couldn’t help but return.

Going to his desk, Chakotay activated the terminal there. “Computer, location of Captain Janeway.”

“Captain Janeway is in the Captain’s ready room.”

“Is she alone?”

“Captain Janeway is currently the only occupant of the ready room.”

Nodding, Chakotay tapped another switch. “Chakotay to Captain Janeway.”

_“Janeway here, Commander. How’s our guest this morning?”_

“Clean.”

_“Clean? As in . . .”_

“Don’t say it,” Chakotay interrupted, his eyes darting in Tommy’s direction. He heard Janeway’s laughter before he continued. “Captain, Tommy is in need of a few essentials. Clothes, a bed, things of that sort.”

_“Of course, Chakotay. I’ve already authorized your use of the replicator for whatever you think he may need.”_

“One step ahead of me, I see.”

_“As always, Commander,”_ she teased.

“Thank you, Captain. Chakotay out.”

* * *

An hour later, Chakotay began to feel like life was a little more under control. Tommy was dressed and had a workable wardrobe. His bed, which had been replicated to a child’s height and dimensions, had taken up residence next to Chakotay’s bed. There had been one slight problem however. When Chakotay had broached the subject of finding a replacement for Fred, Tommy had been resistant. He’d already grown attached to Fred. Giving in to the inevitable, Chakotay let him keep the doll. The doll had been through worse as it had been handed down through the generations of his family. If “Fred” made Tommy happy then so be it.

That issue settled, Chakotay tracked down Kes in hydroponics. While Tommy sat playing with some plant clippings and a collection of growing pots, he and Kes talked. She was his best hope for someone to watch over Tommy during his regular duty shift. Chakotay was pleased when she readily agreed to it.

“Don’t worry, Commander,” she told him. “If an emergency in Sickbay should come up, I can leave him with Neelix. I understand they became good friends again yesterday.” She smiled.

Again? Chakotay puzzled over that for a moment, still trying to reconcile the adult Tom Paris with the little boy that had been dropped into his lap. He recalled how, after some preliminary misunderstandings, the adult Tom Paris and Neelix had become friends. Chakotay eyed Kes appreciatively. Apparently, she saw no difference where there was no difference. To her, no matter how big or small the package, this was still Tom Paris. Chakotay knew he was in trouble in that respect. He was already fond of Tommy and growing more attached to him by the minute. How would that impact his relationship with Tom Paris if—no, not _if—when_ they got him back to his adult self? It wasn’t something Chakotay was really ready to spend time contemplating yet.

“Would you mind if I left Tommy here with you for a couple of hours?” he asked Kes. “I need to go talk to a few others about possibly pitching in to help until we get Tom back to himself.”

“Of course, Commander,” replied Kes agreeably.

Standing, Chakotay looked over to where Tommy was puttering away with some of Kes’ hydroponics supplies and samples, making a general mess of things but obviously enjoying himself. “Tommy, I’m going to leave you with Kes for a while, okay?”

Expecting the usual agreeable “’kay” Chakotay was surprised when Tommy’s content expression turned fearful. “Are you coming back, Koty?”

“He’s scared, Commander,” said Kes softly, feeling the waves of fear emanating from the tiny body. She started forward, but Chakotay’s hand forestalled her. Taking a couple of quick steps forward, he knelt down in front of the boy. “Of course I’m coming back. What makes you think I wouldn’t?”

“Momma and Daddy and Theo and Lissy and Tina all left,” Tommy said in a rush.

Of course, thought Chakotay. He should have seen this coming. The poor little guy wakes up somewhere strange and finds a strange man telling him he’s going to live with him for a while. His parents and sisters are nowhere in sight and they didn’t even say goodbye. Wanting to soothe the fear away, Chakotay reached out and fondly tousled the blond hair. “I’m not going to leave you, Tommy. I’m first officer on _Voyager_ , remember? I have a job to do. While I’m doing that, Kes will take care of you and maybe some of my other friends, but once my duty shift ends for the day, I’m all yours, okay?”

Tommy thought it over and appeared to decide he was all right with that. Chakotay suddenly found himself with a pair of little boy’s arms wrapped around him. Smiling indulgently, he returned the hug. “You’ll be okay staying with Kes for a couple of hours?” he asked carefully.

Tommy nodded and smiled brightly at him. “She’s pretty,” he confided in Chakotay with a shy glance at Kes.

Grinning, Chakotay said, “That’s my Tommy.”

Chakotay stood as Tommy went back to puttering with the plants and pots.

“We’ll be all right, Commander,” Kes assured him.

In the end, it was Chakotay who was the more unsure of the two, rather than Tommy, by the time he left. There was an undeniable thread of something that came dangerously close to affection beginning to form between them. Chakotay didn’t know whether to be thrilled by it or scared to death.


	6. Baloney

##  **CHAPTER 6**

##  **Baloney**

Chakotay retrieved Tommy from Kes later that afternoon after having secured promises from several people to help keep an eye on Tommy when he was on duty. Feeling satisfied that the situation was well in hand, he listened to Tommy chatter on about what he had helped Kes with in hydroponics as they made their way toward the Commander’s quarters. Tommy’s monologue was interrupted by the chirp of Chakotay’s combadge.

_“Commander,”_ came the EMH’s voice, _“could you bring Tommy by Sickbay? I’d like to run a couple of more tests.”_

“We’re on our way, Doctor.”

Tommy, quick to pick up on what was going on, pulled on Chakotay’s hand, trying to change his direction. “Don’t wanna go see the doctor.”

Stopping, Chakotay looked down at Tommy. “The Doctor just wants to run some tests, Tommy.” He knelt down to the youngster’s level. “Are you scared of the Doctor?”

“He’s no fun!” Tommy complained. “He’s grumpy.”

“You have to patient with the Doctor, Tommy. He’s still learning how to be Human.”

Tommy’s brow furrowed in puzzlement. “But he’s a grown up! He should be all learned.”

Holding back a smile, Chakotay told him, “Tommy, the Doctor is a hologram. You understand what holograms are, right?”

Tommy’s eyes widened in comprehension. “Why don’t you reprogram him then? We could make him more happy.”

Chuckling, Chakotay stood and, taking Tommy once more by the hand, thought to himself that was something the adult Tom Paris was certainly likely to do, but all he said aloud was, “The Doctor’s part of this crew, Tommy. He has a right to be who he is just as the rest of us do. Tell you what. After we’re done in Sickbay, we’ll go by the Mess Hall and see if Neelix has any goodies for you, okay?”

“Okay,” Tommy grumped, not sounding at all convinced that this was a good deal.

“Now who’s being grumpy?” teased Chakotay as they stepped through the door to Sickbay.

“Commander. Tommy,” greeted the EMH. “Commander, if you could help Tommy up on one of the biobeds, this shouldn’t take long.”

Lifting Tommy up onto a biobed, Chakotay stood to one side while the Doctor ran a medscanner over Tommy. “How have you been feeling, Tommy?” asked the Doctor.

“I’m not sick!”

Chakotay’s brows raised at the belligerent tone in Tommy’s voice. The Doctor continued on as if he hadn’t noticed.

“Please hold still while I complete this scan,” requested the EMH. Tommy squirmed impatiently on the biobed, wanting this to be over with. Sickbay wasn’t a fun place. The Doctor was grump. He couldn’t touch anything. Wasn’t allowed to move. It was more than a hyper little boy could take. Frustrated, he kicked out with a foot, mouth falling open as his foot passed right through the Doctor’s thigh.

Sighing, the Doctor stepped back to look at his young patient. “I can see we’ll have to go through this again,” he remarked, recalling the time he had explained his holographic capabilities of remaining solid versus his more insubstantial existence to Tom Paris; however, it wouldn’t do to slap a young boy’s face as he had done last time with the adult Tom Paris to make his point. “Tommy, I am an Emergency Medical _Holographic_ program. Nothing you can do or say will hurt me. So kicking me will do you no good.”

“Apologize to the Doctor, Tommy,” came Chakotay’s stern voice.

Tommy’s lower lip jutted out. “Why? He’s just a stupid ole holograph!”

“Tommy,” said Chakotay warningly.

Tommy correctly read the “do as I say or else” expression in Koty’s dark eyes. Crossing his arms over his chest, he said, “Sorry,” not sounding in the least bit sorry.

“Apology accepted,” interceded the Doctor before Chakotay decided to pursue this further. He made a note to check into the proper ways to deal with children. Obviously, they didn’t react the same way as adults. Finishing his scan, the Doctor turned to the Commander. “Commander, may I speak to you for a moment?”

Tommy watched as the two grownups moved over to the far side of the room, talking in low tones, most likely about him. Deciding he’d had enough of Sickbay and the Doctor, Tommy carefully crawled down from the biobed. Keeping a watchful eye on Koty and the EMH, Tommy stealthily sidled over to the door. It slid open without Chakotay or the Doctor noticing and Tommy made his escape.

* * *

B’Elanna, having finally finished the last of her paperwork, exited her office. Alpha shift was already off duty and Engineering was lightly manned at the moment. Ready to call it a day, she took a last tour around Engineering before going off shift.

It wasn’t until she reached the warp core that she noticed something amiss. Something that stopped her in her tracks. A short humanoid body reclined on the deck underneath the railing that surrounded the warp core. He lay on his stomach, head pillowed on his arms and face turned toward the pulsing blue warp core.

B’Elanna’s stomach did a curious flip flop. Tom. It had to be Tom. She had missed him yesterday when Chakotay had brought him to Engineering for a tour. She’d been deep into a Jeffries tube attempting a touchy repair. Joe Carey had told her all about the visit however. She recalled the wistful look in Joe’s eyes when he had told her about Tom—no, Tommy. He liked to be called Tommy, she recalled Joe telling her. When she had had asked Carey if everything was all right, he had quietly remarked that he was missing his two boys back home and then went back to work, clearly not wanting to discuss it.

In the back of her mind, B’Elanna knew she had been hoping they would get Tom changed back before she had an encounter with him as young Tom. She’d never spent much time around kids and wasn’t at all sure she knew what to do with one. But she clearly couldn’t ignore an unsupervised child in Engineering.

When Tommy didn’t move as she approached, B’Elanna began to think he had fallen asleep. Then she saw his eyes. They were fixated on the warp core with a look she recognized. A look of awe and astonishment. And it was _her_ warp core that was generating this awe. Smiling, she sat down on the deck beside him. “Hi Tom-Tommy.”

He turned his head, reluctantly dragging his gaze away from the warp core, to peer at her. B’Elanna’s breath caught. Still Tom Paris in there but yet not him. Something was missing. Tommy spoke before she had time to examine that thought more thoroughly.

“Who are you?”

“My name’s B’Elanna. I’m chief engineer of all this.” She raised an arm to indicate all of Engineering.

Tommy’s gaze returned to the warp core. “I like listening to it,” he said. “It’s like the ship’s heartbeat.”

She blinked, surprised at hearing something so profound from a five-year-old. Crossing her legs, she leaned forward, resting her chin on a hand as she contemplated the warp core with him. “That’s it exactly, Tommy,” she agreed.

“Does it ever talk to you?” he asked.

B’Elanna blinked. “What? The warp core?”

“Joe said sometimes it’ll talk to you, if you listen real close.”

“Joe said that, did he?” B’Elanna started to smile but the smile was quickly replaced by a thoughtful expression as she stared at the warp core. “I suppose Joe is right,” she admitted. “In its own way, it does talk to us.”

“Do you think it’ll talk to me?” Tommy’s voice held a wistful note.

B’Elanna wasn’t certain how to answer that, so she changed the subject. “What are you doing down here by yourself?”

A guilty look flashed across Tommy’s face. “Koty’s gonna be mad,” he finally said.

Koty? she started to ask but then realized who Tommy was referring to. Holding back a grin at the nickname, she asked, “Why’s that?”

“I snuck out of Sickbay when he was talking to the Doctor.”

“And he doesn’t know where you are?” B’Elanna guessed.

Tommy shook his head, avoiding her knowing gaze.

B’Elanna tapped her combadge. “Torres to Chakotay.”

_“Chakotay here,”_ came his rushed reply. _“B’Elanna, whatever this is about, can it wait?”_

“Chakotay, I have a package down here in Engineering that I think you might be looking for.”

_“Tommy?”_

“Yep.”

_“I’ll be right there.”_

B’Elanna turned back to Tommy to find his attention focused on her now. In fact, he was staring at her. She rubbed a hand over her ridged forehead self-consciously, sure he found her odd looking. She couldn’t help but remember the taunts of the Human children at the colony where she had grown up. She watched warily as Tommy cocked his head curiously before speaking.

“You’re pretty,” he said. “Kinda like the princess that the prince saved in the story my momma used to tell me when I was a baby.”

She stared at him. If Tom Paris had said that to her she would have accused him of trying to butter her up for some favor, but this was Tommy, a five-year-old version of Tom Paris, who was at this moment staring at her with huge blue eyes that held nothing but complete honesty.

“Thank you, Tommy. I–” She stuttered to a stop, having absolutely no idea what to say in response to the genuine compliment. Luckily, Chakotay chose that moment to interrupt.

“Tommy!”

Both turned to see Chakotay striding across Engineering. B’Elanna figured he must have run to get here this quickly. He looked like a thundercloud moving across her Engineering room.

Tommy hung back with B’Elanna as they both rose to their feet to meet Chakotay. He obviously knew he was in trouble. If he had any doubts in that regard, B’Elanna was sure the scowl on Chakotay’s face was clueing him in. She recognized the expression in Chakotay’s eyes. He was striving for control before he said or did something he would later regret.

Reaching them, he knelt down to Tommy’s level and took the thin shoulders in his large hands. “Tommy, don’t ever leave again without checking with me first. I had no idea where you were.”

“Maybe you should give him a combadge,” suggested B’Elanna diplomatically.

Chakotay shook his head as he stood back up to face _Voyager_ ’s chief engineer. “Do you have any idea how many times he’s activated mine just to hear the sound it makes?”

“We could fit him with one that works one way only. He won’t be able to activate it but you can track him by the ship’s computer.”

Chakotay looked relieved. “That would be a big help, B’Elanna. Thanks.”

Deciding the storm was over, Tommy, choosing to ignore what had just passed, grabbed Chakotay’s hand and tugged him back toward the warp core. “Baloney and I were listening to the warp core. She said maybe it would talk to me.”

The warp core talks? wondered Chakotay. This was a new one he hadn’t heard before. Then it caught up with him what Tommy had called B’Elanna. Grinning at the chief engineer, he said, “Well, if Baloney says it’s so, it must be.”

“You better believe it, _Koty_ ,” she shot back, trying not to let her appall at the unexpected nickname show.

“I think that’s our cue to leave,” Chakotay said to Tommy.

As they moved toward the exit, B’Elanna called after them, “I’ll have that combadge ready for you tomorrow, Chakotay.”

Chakotay was forced to stop when Tommy turned and ran back toward B’Elanna. “Can I come back again and visit the warp core?”

She crossed her arms and gave him a mock glare. “Only if you ask first and no more sneaking in here unsupervised, all right?”

“All right.” He turned and ran back to join Chakotay.

B’Elanna watched as they exited Engineering, then her facade crumpled a bit. My God, she thought, unable to believe that was Tom Paris. She had to admit he was rather adorable though. Still shaking her head, she completed her tour of Engineering before retiring from duty for the day.


	7. Everything's Okay

##  **CHAPTER 7**

##  **Everything’s Okay**

The first week passed quickly and with fewer problems than Chakotay had anticipated. He was careful to stay close to Tommy during his off-duty hours that first week. Chakotay didn’t want Tommy feeling abandoned or as if he were being shuffled around. Kes and Neelix had provided supervision for him during the times when Chakotay was on duty. Tommy had even been left in the Doctor’s care a few times. Of course, the Doctor took advantage of the time to run further tests on Tommy and, as a result, Tommy was growing less and less fond of the holographic doctor.

It became clear by the second week, however, that Kes and Neelix were going to be pulled away to other duties from time to time. Chakotay finally admitted to himself that he would have to loosen Tommy’s reins a bit and let others watch out for him from time to time.

Tonight, he and the Captain planned to get together over dinner to go over crew evaluations. Harry and B’Elanna, with much trepidation, had agreed to watch Tommy.

When the door to Harry’s quarters slid open and Harry appeared, Chakotay knelt down by Tommy. “You remember Harry, don’t you, Tommy?” B’Elanna’s head popped over Harry’s shoulder. “And,” Chakotay paused, his lips twitching in remembrance of the day Tommy had first met B’Elanna and bestowed the nickname Baloney upon her, “B’Elanna? They’re going to keep an eye on you for a couple of hours while I meet with the Captain.”

Tommy willingly entered Harry’s quarters with the Ensign while Chakotay paused at the door to give B’Elanna a few last-minute instructions. “Whatever you do,” Chakotay told her, “don’t lose Fred. He practically gets hysterical if Fred goes missing.” Chakotay winced at the memory of Tommy’s loud wail of misery when Fred had been nowhere to be found a few days ago. Chakotay had been about ready to call in Security to find the doll so Tommy would calm down. He had finally located Fred, who had become wedged beneath a couch cushion. Relief had been instant, both for Tommy, who had glommed onto Fred like a long lost relative, and for Chakotay’s eardrums.

“Fred?”

B’Elanna’s voice brought him back to the present. “His doll. Believe me, you don’t want to see what happens if he loses Fred. And don’t allow him to bribe you into any after-dinner treats. Neelix fed him enough sweets already today. He doesn’t need any more. And he likes–”

“Chakotay.”

He paused in his recitation to glance at B’Elanna and saw a smile curving her lips upward. “What?”

“You’re sounding very parentish, you know.”

“I am?” He paused, then sighed. “I am, aren’t I? Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.” She patted his arm. “Don’t worry. I think we can handle a five-year-old.”

Chakotay gave her a doubtful look. “You have no idea how sneaky five-year-olds can be,” he calmly told her, his one week with Tommy giving him the voice of experience.

B’Elanna laughed. “It can’t be that bad.”

Chakotay smiled a ‘we’ll see’ smile.

Sobering, B’Elanna moved in a little closer so as not to be overheard by Harry and Tommy. “Are you doing okay with this? With taking care of Tom, I mean? You and he never exactly hit it off and, well . . . Damnit, Chakotay, I find it very unsettling. It’s Tom but it’s not, you know?”

“I know,” he admitted quietly.

“Do you need to talk about it?”

He shook his head. “Everything’s okay. Really,” he added at her doubtful expression.

Accepting that, she offered, “You know where to find me if you need to talk.”

He gave her a smile of acknowledgment. Looking past her shoulder, he called to Tommy, “See you a couple of hours, okay, Tommy? And be good for B’Elanna and Harry.”

Tommy looked at him with that utterly innocent look that even at five years of age he was learning to use to his advantage. “I’m always good, Koty.”

Chakotay had a strong urge to roll his eyes but resisted. Instead, he let the door to Harry’s quarters slide shut and headed for the Captain’s quarters.

* * *

It was closer to three hours later by the time Chakotay arrived to pick up Tommy. He made no effort to suppress a ‘told you so’ grin at the worn-out looks both Harry and B’Elanna flashed him. Saying their good nights, Tommy and Chakotay walked hand in hand down the corridor toward the Commander’s quarters. “Did you have a good time with Harry and B’Elanna?” Chakotay asked the youngster.

“They’re boring!” Tommy complained. “I wanna stay with Neelix and Kes next time.”

Harry and B’Elanna boring? Chakotay shook his head, unsure whether he found humor in the fact that five-year-old Tom Paris found Torres and Kim boring or if that should worry him. “Did something happen tonight? I thought you liked Harry and B’Elanna.”

“They treat me like a baby.”

“Did you tell them you’re not a baby?”

“They laughed at me, Koty.”

“I find that hard to believe, Tommy. Both B’Elanna and Harry are too nice to do something like that.”

“Well, they shared secret looks then.”

“Secret looks?”

“You know. The kind grownups share when they think you’re a baby and don’t understand.” Tommy sent a suspicious look Chakotay’s way, as if just coming to the realization that the man at his side was a grown-up as well.

“I’m sure Harry and B’Elanna didn’t mean anything by it,” Chakotay, his voice shaking a bit from held-in laughter, told Tommy. “You’ll have to be patient with them.”

“That’s what you said about the Doctor!” Tommy accused.

“Harry and B'Elanna _–”_

“I don’t wanna stay with them anymore.” Tommy’s voice was taking on a whiny tone.

Stopping, Chakotay knelt down in front of Tommy. “Looks like someone didn’t get enough sleep last night. Are you going to be grumpy the rest of the night?” he teased. Tommy tiredly rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sure B’Elanna and Harry weren’t laughing at you,” Chakotay consoled. Picking the tired little boy up in his arms, he continued on toward his quarters.

By the time they reached his quarters, Tommy was already nodding off. As Chakotay punched in the door code, he looked up to see Janeway approaching.

“Looks like you’ve got a tired little boy on your hands,” she smiled.

“Long day for him,” Chakotay agreed. “Doesn’t sound like he had too good of a time with Harry and B’Elanna either.”

“Oh?”

Shrugging, Chakotay turned to face Janeway as the door to his quarters slid open. “Something I can do for you, Captain?”

“Tuvok’s recommendations came through shortly after you left. I wondered if we could quickly go over them tonight? I can wait while you put Tommy down for the night.”

Stepping inside, Chakotay indicated the Captain should follow him in. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be back out in a few minutes.”

Going through the doorway to his sleeping quarters, Chakotay lay Tommy on his bed before disappearing into the bathroom. He reappeared moments later with a wet washcloth to wipe mouth and hands that looked as if they had seen a few chocolates tonight. So much for the warning not to let Tommy bribe them for more sweets, he thought, amused that Tom Paris, even at five years of age, could still con Harry and B’Elanna.

It didn’t take long before Chakotay had Tommy in his pjs and slid him into bed. He grabbed Fred and tucked the doll in next to Tommy. “Sweet dreams, Tommy,” he whispered softly, a hand stroking the blond hair.

Chakotay almost made it to the door of the sleeping quarters before Tommy’s sleepy voice halted him.

“Koty?”

Retracing his steps, Chakotay crouched down at Tommy’s bedside. “I thought you were asleep.”

“I don’t feel good,” complained Tommy. He sat up, clutching Fred to him.

Chakotay put a hand to Tommy’s forehead. “No fever. What seems to be the problem?”

“My tummy hurts.”

“Think some water would help?”

“Maybe.”

Chakotay stepped into the bathroom, returning a moment later with a glass of water. He held it to Tommy’s lips so the boy could sip slowly. “How many chocolates did you con out of Harry and B’Elanna tonight?” he asked with a smile.

Tommy shrugged. His face scrunched up in misery and he grabbed at his stomach. “I feel icky, Koty. I–”

Tommy retched. Taken by surprise, Chakotay wasn’t quick enough to avoid the alarming gush of vomit. He looked down in dismay to see what used to be dinner splattering his shoes and uniform pants. A quick glance was enough to confirm that Tommy had ingested more than his limit of chocolates.

“Everything all right?”

Chakotay looked up at the sound of Kathryn Janeway’s concerned voice from the doorway. “Fine. Someone ate too much candy this evening, I think,” he said ruefully, looking back down at his stained uniform, his nose wrinkling slightly at the sour smell wafting up in his direction.

“I feel better now, Koty,” said Tommy in a more chipper tone of voice.

Chakotay looked down at him. “I bet you do,” he offered with a queasy smile. Bending down, he plucked Tommy out of the bed and headed for the bathroom. “Give me a few minutes to get things squared away in here, Captain, and then I’ll be with you.”

“Perhaps I should call the Doctor?” offered Janeway uncertainly. Chakotay didn’t seem to be overly concerned, she noticed, but it wasn’t normal for a child to get sick like this, was it?

“No! No Doctor!” Tommy protested loudly, showing quite a bit of life suddenly. He squirmed in Chakotay’s grasp.

“Tommy, hold still,” admonished Chakotay. “We’re not going to Sickbay.” At that proclamation, Tommy subsided. “I think he’s okay, Captain,” Chakotay tossed over his shoulder in her direction. “I warned B’Elanna and Harry not to give him any sweets tonight. Obviously, someone talked them into it.”

Tommy snuggled into Chakotay’s neck, pretending to be oblivious to what Chakotay was implying. Janeway caught Chakotay’s eye for a brief moment. They shared a knowing smile.

“All right then,” agreed Janeway. “No Doctor. I’ll start going over Tuvok’s report.” She retreated to the outer room.

In the bathroom, Chakotay set Tommy on his feet and pulled off his pajama top, which had been soiled as well. “Your mouth taste all icky now?” he asked.

“Uh huh.”

Chakotay retrieved Tommy’s toothbrush. “Brush your teeth. That’ll help. I’ll go get you a clean top.” He grabbed a wet washcloth and towel on his way out of the bathroom and quickly sponged up the mess Tommy had made on the floor beside his bed. As soon as that was taken care of, he pulled off his shoes and uniform, stuffing them in the ‘fresher before grabbing a spare uniform from the closet.

With one of Tommy’s T-shirts in hand since he didn’t have a spare set of pajamas, Chakotay returned to the bathroom. Chakotay handed the shirt to Tommy. “Here you go. Feeling better now?”

Tommy nodded as he pulled the T-shirt over his head. Crouching down in front of him, Chakotay helped him tug the shirt over his head. “Now you know why you’re not allowed to eat all those sweets after dinner, huh?”

“Guess so,” admitted Tommy. He cracked a wide yawn.

“Let’s get you back to bed,” suggested Chakotay, relieved when Tommy didn’t put up a fuss about it.

* * *

Kathryn Janeway watched Chakotay exit his sleeping quarters, a content smile on his face. She hadn’t seen him this relaxed in ages. In fact, she’d been impressed with how calmly and efficiently he had handled the whole scene with Tommy getting sick. The man was a born father, and he was obviously becoming more and more attached to Tommy by the day. She couldn’t contain a niggling worry about how it would affect Chakotay when they found a way to return Tom to himself. Or how Tom Paris would handle knowing it had been Chakotay who cared for him.

* * *

Nearly thirty minutes later, Chakotay, hearing a noise, stopped in mid-conversation with Kathryn. Looking up from the datapadd inquiringly, she followed his gaze to see Tommy, clad in white T-shirt and bright blue and red pajama bottoms that had spaceships adorning them, standing in the doorway to the sleeping quarters. Tommy, Fred clutched tightly clutched in his embrace, blinked sleepily at them.

“Tommy, it’s late,” said Chakotay. “What are you doing up?” He and Kathryn shared a concerned gaze, both worried that the earlier bout of sickness had been more serious than a simple case of overeating.

Ignoring Chakotay’s question, Tommy, his voice small, asked, “Koty, do you think Theo misses me?”

Janeway’s eyes widened quizzically? Theo? But Chakotay’s attention was now focused solely on Tommy, whose hold on Fred had tightened significantly in the last few seconds.

“C’mere,” invited Chakotay, patting the couch between himself and Kathryn. Tommy ran over and crawled onto the couch and right into Chakotay’s lap. Chakotay wrapped his arms around Tommy, gently rubbing his back in a soothing motion. “I’m sure Theo misses you,” he told the youngster, “and your parents and sisters too.”

“Theo will keep them company,” offered Tommy.

Chakotay pulled Tommy closer. “Exactly,” he agreed.

“Koty?”

“Yes?”

“Do Momma and Daddy want me back?”

Chakotay’s startled eyes met Kathryn Janeway’s. She shrugged helplessly. Chakotay took a deep breath. Tommy had briefly broached this subject a couple of days ago so Chakotay wasn’t totally taken by surprise that it was on the youngster’s mind.

“Tommy, we already talked about this. Remember? Mommy and Daddy had to go away on a long trip and they took Theo with them. And your sisters went to stay with other friends.” Chakotay hated the necessary lie but five-year-old Tommy would never be able to comprehend the truth.

“But what if they decide they don’t want me back?”

Chakotay could hear the tremble of fear in Tommy’s voice.

Kathryn, sitting on the other end of the couch, could see Tommy’s lower lip tremble. Speaking softly, she said, “Have I mentioned that I know your daddy, Tommy?”

Bright blue eyes, dimmed slightly by five-year-old worries, rose from where the face had been buried in Chakotay’s chest to gaze at her. Kathryn had to gather her thoughts quickly. How old had Tom been in the first family picture she had seen? At the most, he had been two or three, she decided. “Your daddy showed me a picture of his family,” she told Tommy. “You were just a little guy then.” She smiled. Chakotay had told her that Tommy had said his daddy let him fly in the flight simulators, so she felt safe in mentioning that also. “And your Daddy was all puffed up with pride when he told me about your high scores in the flight simulators. He’s very proud of you, Tommy.”

Tommy gave her a sweet, sleepy smile.

“Your daddy loves you,” she softly told him. “So does your mommy.”

Chakotay’s combadge chirped, interrupting the moment. “Chakotay.”

_“Commander,”_ came Tuvok’s calm voice, _“I apologize for disturbing you outside your normal duty shift. There has been an altercation between Ensigns Beeman and Lakal. Ensign Lakal insists on your presence for the investigation into the incident.”_

Chakotay frowned. Beeman was one of _Voyager_ ’s original Starfleet officers and Lakal was one of Chakotay’s Maquis. Both were known for being vocal about their convictions but Kathryn and Chakotay shared a mutual private belief that an underlying unacknowledged attraction lay at the root of their problems.

“Go on,” Janeway told him. “I’ll stay here with Tommy until you get back.”

Nodding in acknowledgment of her offer, Chakotay told Tuvok he would be right there, and then Kathryn was startled to suddenly find herself with a lapful of drowsy little boy.

Chakotay leaned in close and said to Tommy, “I’ll be back soon, but Aunt Kathryn will stay here with you until I get back, okay?”

Janeway didn’t miss the wink Chakotay sent in her direction at the ‘Aunt Kathryn’ nor did she lodge a protest when Tommy’s warm body snuggled in close.

Chakotay ran an affectionate hand through Tommy’s already sleep-tousled hair and then was moving toward the door. Once it closed behind him, Kathryn looked down at the blond head nestled against her breasts. Tommy was breathing evenly, sound asleep. She gazed fondly at him for a long moment before turning her gaze outward to the stars and remembering the Tom Paris she had first met at the Auckland Penal Colony. A soft smile curved the corners of her mouth upward as her fingers soothingly stroked the blond head.

* * *

By the time Chakotay got back to his quarters, it was late. Janeway bid him a quick good night. Chakotay checked on Tommy, who was sound asleep in his bed. He frowned when he saw Tommy was sucking his thumb in his sleep. He’d have to remember to ask Kes about it, Chakotay thought tiredly, ready for bed himself. He had a strong suspicion that Tommy was feeling insecure, if his questions tonight were any indication.

Still frowning several minutes later, Chakotay slid into his bed and called for lights out. He lay there in the darkness for a long time, silently contemplating the changes Tommy had wrought on his life and found, to his joy and dismay, that he was glad the little boy had come into his life. It had ceased to matter that this was Tom Paris. Instead, he had become the little boy who had stolen Chakotay’s heart.


	8. Wings Wings  Wings

##  **CHAPTER 8**

##  **Wings Wings Wings**

As Chakotay picked up Tommy’s toys that were strewn around his quarters, he recalled his surprise the night before when Tuvok had asked for a moment of his time after the disagreement between Lakal and Beeman had been straightened out.

“Commander,” began Tuvok, “as you know, I am off-duty tomorrow. I am aware you have asked for assistance in caring for Tommy during your duty hours. I am offering such assistance tomorrow.”

“For the whole day, Tuvok?” Chakotay had asked dubiously.

“You forget, Commander, I have four children at home. Vulcan children are surprisingly similar to Human children I have found, until they learn discipline.”

“You’re not planning on attempting that with Tommy, are you?” Chakotay questioned. “After all, he’s Human.”

“Of course not, Commander,” acknowledged Tuvok. “I had thought Tommy would enjoy a day on the holodeck with some flight simulations.”

Chakotay stared at him in surprise, caught off-guard by the Vulcan’s insight. “You’re right. I think he would enjoy that.”

The door to Chakotay’s quarters whooshed open, interrupting Chakotay’s reverie. Tommy, breathless, rushed in. Tuvok followed at a more sedate pace.

“I flew today, Koty!” Tommy reported excitedly. “Tuvok said I did good!”

“You did well,” Tuvok corrected mildly.

“And look what Tuvok gave me!” Tommy continued to chatter excitedly. He held up a streamlined toy spacecraft for Chakotay’s inspection. “He said it was my reward for excellent flying-flying—what was that word you used?” Tommy looked up at the Vulcan.

“Acumen,” replied Tuvok.

Chakotay smiled at the youngster. “That’s good, Tommy. Sounds like you had a good time today. Why don’t you go get washed up? You can tell me all about your day over dinner.”

Tommy ran for the bathroom, spacecraft held aloft as he zoomed it through the air. Chakotay, turning back to Tuvok, teased, “I didn’t know toys were _logical_ , Tuvok.”

“It will assist with his hand-eye coordination,” replied Tuvok smoothly.

“Was he really that good on the flight simulations?” asked Chakotay curiously.

“He far exceeded my expectations for a five-year-old Human child,” Tuvok confirmed. “I found my time spent with Tommy quite informative and begin to see where many of Mr. Paris’ sometimes aggravating characteristics originated.”

Chakotay grinned. “Is that your way of saying he got on your nerves?”

“On the contrary,” Tuvok refuted. “I found him quite refreshing. Should you have need of someone to watch over him again, I would be pleased to volunteer my services.”

“Guess he even had the Paris charm as a child,” Chakotay murmured softly. Louder, he asked, “Would you like to join us for dinner?”

“Perhaps another time. I have reports I need to review tonight.”

Tommy came zooming back into the room, running the spacecraft through a series of aerial acrobatics.

“Tommy, did you thank Lieutenant Tuvok for the spaceship?” asked Chakotay.

Tuvok’s throat cleared. “Yes, he did, Commander. Rather enthusiastically, I might add.”

Chakotay had a sudden image of Tommy throwing his arms around Tuvok and couldn’t help the laugh that escaped at the expression on the Vulcan’s face. “Ready for dinner?” he asked Tommy.

“Ready!” confirmed Tommy.

The trio exited Chakotay’s quarters together, Tuvok branching off toward his quarters while Chakotay and Tommy headed for the mess hall.

* * *

Retiring to his quarters after dinner, Chakotay realized for once he didn’t have any pressing duties, so it would be a quiet evening at home, or as quiet as it could get with Tommy.

Tommy, being the astute five-year-old that he was, picked up on the fact that Chakotay didn’t have any “Commander Work” as he called it and wasted no time in pulling out the old-fashioned hardbound picture books that Aunt Kathryn had given him.

Chakotay watched in amusement as Tommy piled the books on the couch beside him and then crawled up to sit next to Chakotay. He pulled the books, one by one, onto his lap as he showed them to Chakotay.

“I can read _you_ a story tonight,” he told Chakotay. “’Kay?” Not waiting for the adult’s reply, he continued on, attempting to sound adult-like but not succeeding in hiding his childish excitement. “Which one would you like to hear?”

Chakotay realized he was hearing his own words parroted back at him. He and Tommy had read “together” before but Tommy had never tried to read a whole story on his own. Chakotay had long suspected he was more than capable of it with some of these books. His gaze roaming over the bright covers, Chakotay picked one that he knew was a favorite of Tommy’s. “How about this one?”

Pushing the other books off to the side, Tommy snuggled in under Chakotay’s arm and opened the book so it rested across both their laps. He began reading aloud to Chakotay.

_Wings Wings Wings_

_They are wonderful flying things._

_Wings flutter and flap_

_and they make things go._

_Some go high and some go low._

_Some fly fast and some fly slow._

_Some wings are red,_

_some wings are blue._

_Wings help you fly,_

_that’s what they do!_

Chakotay couldn’t help wondering how much of this Tommy was actually reading and how much he knew from memory. He’d been startled at how well Tommy could read the first time they had sat down together to enjoy one of ‘Aunt Kathryn’s’ books but had quickly remembered that he himself had been able to read fairly well at the age of five. Setting aside those thoughts, he refocused Tommy’s singsong voice before Tommy could accuse him of not paying attention, a not so rare occurrence with the busy Commander.

_Spooky wings in the park_

_making sounds in the dark._

_Wings in a row_

_on a tree long ago._

_Wings can take you_

_most any place._

_There are wings_

_everywhere–_

_even in space._

“Koty?”

“Hmm?”

“Does _Voyager_ have wings?”

Chakotay thought about it a moment. “I suppose she does in a way.” Disengaging himself from Tommy, he stood. “Come over here to the viewer for a moment and I’ll show you.”

Going to his desk, Chakotay sat down and called up an image of _Voyager_. Sliding back, he pulled Tommy up into his lap so he could see the viewer’s image better. “Watch _Voyager_ ’s nacelles,” he instructed, pointing them out on the viewer. “Keep a close eye on what they do when she goes to warp.” He tapped in a couple of commands, having turned off voice control for the viewer when he had caught Tommy scrolling through several files one day without permission. Chakotay supposed he could have put a password on it but he usually turned off the voice activation mode on the viewer at night anyway, afraid the noise would wake Tommy. They both watched as the _Voyager_ on the viewer moved to warp, her nacelles pulling up and then disappeared moved into warp.

“Wings!” Tommy exclaimed, sounding extremely pleased by the discovery.

Chakotay keyed in another sequence to show _Voyager_ going through several high-speed maneuvers. Tommy’s attention remained glued on the monitor. If Chakotay had been there when Tom Paris, on the shuttle with Lieutenant Stadi on approach to _Deep Space Nine_ , had gotten his first glimpse of _Voyager_ , he would have recognized the look on Tommy’s face now.

They stayed there in front of the viewer for the rest of the evening, Tommy continually urging Chakotay to show him more. It was as if he couldn’t get enough of anything that could fly and _Voyager_ in particular. Chakotay had never known Tom Paris to be so single-minded. A lost trait? he wondered, or just a well-hidden one? And one more question to add to the growing pile of questions that Chakotay was accumulating in regards to Tom Paris. Questions he now desired answers to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Wings, Wings, Wings_ : Taken from _Wings on Things_ written by Marc Brown.


	9. Now I Can Be Just Like You

##  **CHAPTER 9**

##  **Now I Can Be Just Like You**

It was turning into another busy day for everyone aboard _Voyager_. Chakotay had left Tommy with Kes this morning. She had been called away to an emergency in Sickbay and had left Tommy with Harry Kim but Harry, having to report for duty, had left Tommy with Neelix. Neelix, in turn, was scheduled for an away mission to retrieve foodstuffs from a local planet and had nabbed Joe Carey, who had been on a short break from his engineering duties. For a while it seemed as if everyone was going to be pegged for Tommy-sitting duties that day. Joe, unable to locate anyone on short notice, had taken Tommy to Engineering with him, hoping the five-year-old wouldn’t get in the way and that the Chief wouldn’t have a cow over the youngster’s presence in Engineering.

An hour later, Joe had to admit he was having fun. Tommy was livening up what would have been an otherwise monotonous day filled with routine tasks and repairs. He had dubbed Tommy his Assistant Engineer and Tommy, taking the title to heart, had been with Joe all the way.

“Hydro spanner,” requested Carey. He held out his hand and, as expected, the spanner was slapped into his hand. Then a small form huddled in close, asking for what Joe swore was the hundredth time, “Whatcha doin’?” Joe, shaking his head at Tommy’s inquisitiveness which reminded him painfully of his own boys back home, smiled and proceeded to explain to Tommy step-by-step exactly what he was doing, just as he had done with everything else for the past hour.

Exiting her office, B’Elanna’s gaze fell on Lieutenant Carey and Tommy, who were both crouched in front of an open access panel. She shook her head, not willing to make an issue of Tommy being in Engineering since he seemed to be behaving himself. She was still having trouble assimilating that the little boy was actually Tom Paris. Turning back toward the panel she had been heading for when she’d spotted the unexpected visitor in Engineering, she set about removing its cover. The cover was jammed tight and refused to budge. B’Elanna let out a low growl. It just hadn’t been her day. It seemed as if one thing after another had gone wrong. She pushed angrily at the panel, muttering imprecations under her breath. With one final slam of her hand against the stubborn panel, she growled, “Damn!” and stalked over to another station to pick up a tool to help pry the panel loose.

Joe looked around at the Chief’s expletive. Nothing new in that, he supposed. Although he and B’Elanna had reached an understanding and she rarely, if ever, lost her temper with her Engineering crew these days, she still frequently lost patience with herself. He noticed Tommy watching her and listening intently to her muttered expletives, which were growing more savage by the moment. Distracting Tommy away from that might be a good thing, he decided, perhaps a bit belatedly. “Say, Tommy, have I ever told you about _Green Eggs and Ham_?”

Tommy turned his attention to Joe but his gaze kept wandering back to the expressive chief engineer. In no time at all, however, Carey had him reciting “I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I do not like green eggs and ham.”

* * *

Dinner was a noisy affair. Harry, Kes and the Captain had joined Chakotay and Tommy, with Tommy keeping up a steady stream of excited chatter about his day, hardly letting the adults get a word in edgewise.

“I helped Lieutenant Carey out in Engineering today, Koty,” said Tommy excitedly. “He said I was a big help. We fixed the impulse engines and crawled through a Jeffries tube and used a fusion coupler and he taught me _Green Eggs and Ham_ and–”

“Green eggs and ham?” quizzed Harry, wondering what that had to do with a fusion coupler. “Sounds like something on Neelix’s breakfast menu.”

“You’ve never heard of _Green Eggs and Ham_ , Ensign?” asked an amused Captain Janeway.

When Harry shook his head, Chakotay said, “I have to admit I haven’t either. What is it?”

“A well-known children’s book from the 20th century.”

“You wanna hear some?” asked Tommy between gulps of food. Not giving them time to reply, he began his recitation. “I am Sam. I am Sam. Sam I am. That Sam-I-am. That Sam-I-am! I do not like that Sam-I-am. Do you like green eggs and ham? I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I do not like green eggs and ham.”

Tommy paused to take a breath and to check the adults’ reactions. Harry Kim was staring at him as if he were seeing something he’d never seen before. Kes had a pleased smile on her face. Captain Janeway smiled maternally and said, “You learned all that today, Tommy?”

“I know more!” he exclaimed. Tommy opened his mouth to share but was forestalled by Chakotay.

“I think you’d better eat your dinner first, Tommy,” he said mildly, pointing a fork at the spaghetti-like concoction on Tommy’s plate. “Eat up before it gets cold.”

Looking disappointed, Tommy, nevertheless, did as Chakotay ordered. Chakotay’s next words caused his morose expression to brighten considerably. “You can tell us more . . . _Green Eggs and Ham_ later.”

Satisfied, Tommy attempted to shove a big forkful of the noodles into his mouth, only to have a big glob of it slide off and land with a splat on his shirt. Looking down in disgust, Tommy loudly uttered, “Damn!”

Sudden silence hit the table.

“Tommy?”

He looked up, meeting Chakotay’s gaze.

“Where did you hear that word?”

“Baloney was saying it in Engineering today. Over and over and over.”

While Chakotay was debating how to handle this, he couldn’t help but notice his tablemates’ reactions. Kes looked tolerantly amused. Harry, a grin threatening to split his face, was trying unsuccessfully not to laugh. The Captain merely returned his look with a raised eyebrow that would have done any Vulcan proud. Sighing, Chakotay turned his attention back to Tommy.

“Tommy, that’s not an allowed word.”

“Allowed word?” repeated Tommy, clearly not understanding.

“It’s not a nice word. You aren’t allowed to use it.”

Tommy’s lips pursed as he thought about it. He finally squinted at Chakotay. “It’s a bad word?”

“Yes,” Chakotay replied with relief, glad Tommy understood.

“And bad words aren’t allowed words?”

“That’s right.”

“What about _Qu’vatlh_?” he asked with a mangled Klingon accent. “Baloney said it too. Is it a bad word?”

Chakotay ignored the guffaw from the other side of the table. All he could think was that B’Elanna must have been on a real roll today. “Yes, Tommy. That’s a bad word.”

Tommy contemplated his plate of food for a moment, letting his fork play with the strands of pasta. Those around the table could practically hear the gears shifting as he processed this new information. They waited with bated breath for what would come out of his mouth next.

Looking up, Tommy peered at Chakotay. As he did so, he scrunched up his face in an impressive fierce expression, let out a growl that was a poor imitation of B’Elanna’s and spit out, “ _baQa’!_ ”

That did it for Harry. He lost it completely, loud laughter escaping, until he caught The Glare the Captain was sending his way, although her lips were twitching alarmingly.

Tommy took in all their reactions with that patented Paris wide-eyed innocent look. The little scamp! thought Chakotay. He knew perfectly well what he had just said was a bad word. After sending a glare around the table to the others, who were being absolutely no help, Chakotay turned back to Tommy.

“That’s another bad word, isn’t it?” asked Tommy.

Chakotay nodded. “I think you know it is,” he said evenly. “I don’t want to hear those words come out of your mouth again. Understand?”

“How come Baloney gets to use them?”

Chakotay grimaced. “Don’t worry. I’ll be having a talk with Baloney, uh, B’Elanna.”

Janeway wisely changed the subject and soon Tommy, to their amusement, had steered the conversation back to _Green Eggs and Ham_.

* * *

Chakotay tried to concentrate on the readout at his desk terminal, but it was becoming increasingly difficult with Tommy running around the room loudly chanting that silly verse that Carey had taught him.

Tommy whizzed by again, apparently filled with unlimited energy this evening. His childish voice was growing in volume. “I am Sam. Sam I am. That Sam-I-am. That Sam-I-am! I do not like that Sam-I-am. I am–”

“TOMMY!” thundered Chakotay, his head starting to ache from the constant noise.

Tommy, shocked into stillness by Chakotay’s loud voice, stared at the adult. Chakotay took a deep breath. He hadn’t meant to yell. It had just erupted all of a sudden. Much quieter, he said, “Tommy, come here.”

Tommy approached him hesitantly and Chakotay felt instant remorse that he had obviously frightened him. Still seated at his desk, he placed an arm around the slim shoulders and pulled Tommy close. “Tommy, I have a lot of work to take care of tonight, so you have to be quiet, okay? You think you could maybe get the coloring pads out that Kes gave you and color me a picture or two?”

Tommy’s blue eyes considered him for a moment, then nodded but still didn’t say anything. Chakotay sighed. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I guess I’m a little tired.”

Tommy leaned against Chakotay’s thigh as he turned to look up into Chakotay’s face. “Maybe you need a nap,” he offered helpfully.

Chakotay smiled. “You’re probably right, but the Captain needs this report in the morning so I have to get it done tonight. Tell you what, if you can be quiet for the next hour and color me some nice pictures, I’ll read you a story before you go to bed, okay?”

“Okay.”

He watched as Tommy charged off for the other side of the room, still obviously filled with boundless energy, to look for his coloring pads. Chakotay turned back to his terminal, determined to finish the report so he could keep his promise of a story to Tommy.

“Koty?”

What now? Schooling the exasperation out of his face, he turned to see Tommy watching him from across the room.

“Do you need a hug? Hugs always makes me feel better.”

A smile slowly curled the corners of Chakotay’s mouth upward. “You’re right,” he told the youngster. “I could really use a hug.” He held his arms open to Tommy who raced across the room and launched himself at Chakotay. Short arms wound themselves around Chakotay. Chakotay hugged him tight and then proceeded to tickle him until Tommy was giggling uncontrollably.

“Enough?” asked an amused Chakotay.

“’Nuff!” agreed a breathless Tommy, who slipped out of his grasp to go in search of his coloring pads.

Chakotay watched him go before turning back to his terminal and the report. He found, to his surprise, that it was much easier to concentrate on it now after the brief interlude with Tommy.

* * *

Chakotay gradually became aware that it had been very quiet for the past thirty minutes or so. Too quiet. Craning his head around to look behind him, he didn’t see Tommy stretched out on the floor by the couch scribbling away with his crayons.

“Tommy! What are you doing?”

“Nuthin’,” came the reply from the direction of the sleeping quarters.

Chakotay frowned. That nothing sounded suspiciously like something. Getting to his feet, he walked across the room toward the sleeping quarters. Stepping inside, he looked around but didn’t see Tommy anywhere. A light was coming from the bathroom though. Approaching the door, he peered inside. Tommy had climbed up on the counter and pulled himself up so that he was practically nose to nose with the mirror. Chakotay couldn’t quite make out what he was doing.

“Tommy?”

Tommy turned to face him. Big grin on his face, he stuck his chin in the air and turned his head slightly so Chakotay could get a good look at his forehead and left temple. “Look, Koty! Now I got a tattoo jus’ like yours!” He grinned widely, obviously very proud of the new acquisition.

Aghast, Chakotay stared at the dark bold lines across Tommy’s forehead and down the left side of his face that he deduced were supposed to resemble his tattoo. He frowned. It didn’t look like crayon. Stepping forward, he pulled the marker out of Tommy’s hand. One of B’Elanna’s Engineering pens . . . and indelible. He groaned. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or lecture him.

“Now I can be jus’ like you, Koty,” said Tommy.

Chakotay stared into those blue eyes, staring at him with utter adoration. He didn’t have the heart to yell at him. In fact, he wasn’t quite sure what to say to him. He grabbed Tommy from the bathroom counter and set him on the floor. “What did I tell you about climbing up on things?”

“Not to do it.” Tommy’s voice was acquiring that stubborn sound to it that Chakotay had become familiar with. “But, Koty–”

“No buts. Now, go get your pajamas on. It’s time for bed.”

Tommy’s shoulders sagged as he turned and walked toward the bathroom door. Chakotay sighed. God, he was such a softy! “Tommy.”

Tommy turned toward him hopefully.

“It’s a nice tattoo, but . . .” He trailed off when Tommy grinned happily at him. He didn’t have the heart to tell him right then and there that he’d be taking yet another trip to Sickbay to have the tattoo removed in the morning. “Go on,” he said softly. “Get ready for bed. I’ll be there in a few minutes to tuck you in.”

After Tommy had retreated to the sleeping area, Chakotay turned to face himself in the mirror. His eyes were drawn to his tattoo before he met his own gaze in the mirror. Shaking his head, and turned to go check on Tommy’s progress and couldn’t help wondering what surprise the youngster might have in store for him next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Green Eggs and Ham_ : Taken from _Green Eggs and Ham_ written by Dr. Seuss.


	10. The Tattoo

##  **CHAPTER 10**

##  **The Tattoo**

Chakotay checked the chronometer again. He was running late this morning and he still had to take Tommy to Sickbay to see about getting the indelible marker on his face removed. The tattoo. Chakotay shook his head. Had he done stuff like that when he was Tommy’s age? After thinking about it a moment, Chakotay decided he’d been no angel when he’d been a youngster either.

It was time to roust Tommy from bed but first he needed to contact the Captain and alert her that he was going to be a little late reporting for duty. He tapped his combadge, keeping his voice low so as not to disturb the still-sleeping Tommy.

“Chakotay to Janeway.”

_“Good morning, Commander,”_ came Kathryn Janeway’s chipper voice. _“What can I do for you this morning?”_

“Captain, I’m going to be a little late in reporting for duty. I need to take Tommy by Sickbay.”

Janeway voiced immediate concern. _“Is he all right?”_

“He’s fine,” Chakotay responded, remaining purposely noncommittal. It didn’t help. Kathryn Janeway still picked up on something in his tone.

_“Chakotay, what happened?”_

Chakotay sighed. He knew that tone of voice. She wouldn’t let up until she got a satisfactory answer out of him. “It’s nothing, Captain. Really.”

_“Well, if it’s nothing, then you won’t mind telling me.”_

Chakotay could hear the humor creeping into her voice. She was enjoying this. “Tommy somehow managed to get his hands on one of B’Elanna’s Engineering markers. The indelible ones.”

_“I see.”_

He could hear the smile in her voice now.

_“And what did he manage to mark up?”_

“His face.”

_“His face!? Whatever would he mark up his face for?”_

Giving in to the fact that she was going to make him tell her, he surrendered the truth, not fully comprehending why it would embarrass him to admit this. “I guess he got it into his head that he wanted a tattoo like mine.”

There was dead silence on the comlink for a long moment. Then he heard it. Laughter that she was trying unsuccessfully to mute. He let her get it out of her system, waiting patiently for her to speak again.

_“I take it you’re not going to let him keep the tattoo?”_ Janeway finally asked, her voice a bit breathless from the laughter.

“No. And I’m still trying to figure out how to break that news to him.” Chakotay paused. “I didn’t have the heart to tell him last night. He was so proud of it and when he told me he could be just like me now, I didn’t know what to say.”

_“Oh, Chakotay.”_ Janeway’s voice had sobered as soon as she realized there were more serious implications other than the comical when she heard the distress in his voice. Silence reigned on the comlink again, only this time it was the silence of discomfort. _“Do you want to talk about this?”_ she finally asked. _“You know my door is always open to you.”_

Chakotay rubbed a hand over his face, glad she couldn’t see his expression at the moment. It hadn’t been that long ago when she had spoken similar words to him following the sting she and Tuvok had set up against the Kazon to weed out the traitor on _Voyager_ and he had been left out in the cold. He told himself to leave it behind. To get beyond it. But there were fleeting moments when her lack of trust in him at that time still hurt.

_“Chakotay?”_

He exhaled a breath of frustration. “I’m all right,” he assured her. “ _We’re_ all right,” he added, unsure if he meant himself and Tommy or himself and Kathryn Janeway. “Tommy’s reason for his newly acquired tattoo just threw me a bit is all. Don’t worry. I’ll handle it.”

_“Very well,”_ she replied, all business once again. _“Don’t worry about being late reporting to the Bridge.”_

“Thank you, Captain. Chakotay out.”

Getting to his feet, Chakotay tapped his combadge one more time as he walked over toward his desk. “Chakotay to Sickbay.”

_“Sickbay,”_ responded the EMH promptly. _“How may I be of assistance, Commander?”_

“I need to bring Tommy in this morning to have some indelible marker removed from his face. I wanted to make sure you weren’t in the middle of any emergencies.”

“ _Not at the moment, Commander. When can I expect you?”_

Turning toward the sleeping quarters, he said, “Let’s say in about twenty minutes? Give or take a few.” Completing the turn, he found Tommy, Fred clasped to his chest, standing in the doorway staring at him. He could tell from Tommy’s betrayed expression that he had overheard what he had told the Doctor. Tommy turned and ran back into the sleeping quarters. “It might be closer to thirty minutes, Doctor,” he amended. “Chakotay out.”

Frowning, Chakotay entered the sleeping quarters to find Tommy back in bed, covers pulled up over his head. Crouching down by the youngster’s bed, Chakotay tried to pull the covers back only to discover Tommy had a tight grip on them.

“Tommy.”

“Go ‘way!”

Chakotay’s frown deepened. Tommy’s tone was openly belligerent. He tugged on the bedcovers again but Tommy held tight. “Tommy, come on–”

“NO!”

“Tommy, I know you heard me tell the Doctor that we need to have the markings on your face removed. You can’t go around all day with those marks on your face.”

“Why not? You do!”

Chakotay sighed. “I’m an adult. That’s my choice–”

“I’m not a baby!”

Chakotay rocked back on his heels, contemplating the still form huddled beneath the covers. This was getting them nowhere. Tommy was twisting his words around. He tugged on the bedcovers again, but Tommy was still holding tight. “Come on, Tommy.”

“NO!”

This was not the first time Chakotay had encountered Tommy’s stubborn streak. He fell back on the routine they had developed in the past two weeks.

“Tommy, who’s the boss here?”

“Me!”

Wrong answer. Chakotay tried again, careful to keep his voice even and patient but with just a hint of warning in it. “Who?”

“Me.”

Noting the less defiant attitude this time, Chakotay repeated the question. “Who?”

Long silence.

Finally, a reluctant, muffled reply. “You are.”

“Then do what I say. Get dressed so we can go to Sickbay.” He gave another tug on the covers. There was a last show of resistance before Tommy released them. Chakotay pulled the covers back. Tommy lay there staring up at him, a sullen expression on his face.

Giving him a stern look, Chakotay stood. “Get a move on, cadet. I told the Doctor we’d be in Sickbay shortly.” Tommy crawled out of bed and headed for the bathroom, pointedly ignoring Chakotay.

“Ten minutes, Tommy.” Shaking his head, Chakotay turned and headed for the main room.

At the bathroom door, Tommy turned and stuck his tongue out at Chakotay’s back. Feeling slightly vindicated, he entered the bathroom, knowing he only dared push Koty so far.

* * *

As Chakotay boarded the turbolift, he turned to check on Tommy’s progress. Tommy was still further down the corridor, dawdling and purposely trying Chakotay’s patience. “Tommy, hurry up. We don’t want to hold up the lift.”

Tommy didn’t acknowledge that he had heard but started to slowly walk in the direction of the turbolift. Chakotay silently counted to ten, telling himself not let Tommy’s tactics get to him. He knew Tommy was purposely being difficult to show his displeasure about the upcoming tattoo removal. Chakotay buried a heavy sigh that badly wanted release. This too would pass, he told himself. Tommy’s pouts usually didn’t last long although this one was showing signs of entertaining a marathon session.

Tommy finally reached the lift and boarded it, pausing for a moment before making his way to the opposite side of the lift. Tommy’s distance stated that he was still angry with Chakotay and was here against his wishes. Tense silence filled the lift as it began to move toward their destination of Sickbay. Neither adult nor child attempted conversation.

The lift stopped to pick up a passenger. Ensign Kim. Chakotay breathed with relief. Amazing that a child not even a meter tall yet could get him so wound up.

“Commander.”

“Ensign.”

As the door closed, Harry called out his destination of Engineering then turned to the other side of the lift. “Hi, Tommy. How are . . . you?” Harry’s inquiry finished uncertainly when he observed not only the glower that Tommy was directing toward Chakotay but also the broad black strokes on his face that hadn’t been there a day ago. Harry looked a question at Chakotay as he picked up on the tension in the turbolift.

“We’re having a slight misunderstanding,” was all Chakotay said.

Tommy, a stubborn expression on his face, looked up at Harry. His chin jutting out when he held his face up for Harry’s inspection, he stated proudly, “I have a tattoo.”

So that’s what it’s supposed to be, Harry thought. Aloud, he said, “It’s, uh, a very nice tattoo, Tommy.”

Tommy turned a triumphant look at the Commander. “See?” he exclaimed. “ _He_ likes it.”

Whoops, thought Harry. Bet I just stepped straight into the disagreement.

“We’ve already been over this, Tommy,” Chakotay said. “You can’t keep the tattoo.”

Tommy opened his mouth to shoot back a reply but subsided at the forbidding expression on Koty’s face. He retreated back to his side of the lift, leaning against the wall with his arms folded. A very characteristic Tom Paris pose, except Chakotay couldn’t recall over seeing Tom’s lower lip jutting out quite that far.

The lift slid to a halt on Deck Five and Chakotay stepped off. Tommy didn’t move. Harry held his breath, sensing a confrontation coming.

Ignoring Tommy for the moment, Chakotay held the lift open. “Harry, what time do you get off shift today?”

“Uh, I was on duty early this morning helping out with a project in Engineering, so I’m off duty mid-afternoon today.”

“Good. I’m going to be late getting off duty today. Would you keeping an eye on Tommy once you’re off?”

“Sure, Commander,” replied Harry smoothly. Inside, he wasn’t so certain. The last time he had taken care of Tommy it hadn’t gone all that well.

Chakotay nodded. “He’ll be with Neelix most of the day so you can probably pick him up there once you get off shift.” Now Chakotay’s gaze did shift to Tommy, who still hadn’t budged from the lift. “Come on, Tommy,” he said in a tone that would brook no argument.

“I don’t wanna go to Sickbay!”

“That’s already been decided.” Chakotay held out his hand. “Come on. Now.”

Tommy exited the lift, ignoring Chakotay’s outstretched hand. Harry breathed a sigh of relief when the lift door slid shut.

* * *

The Doctor was just getting around to removing the indelible ink marks on Tommy’s face when the door to Sickbay slid open and Samantha Wilder, baby Naomi cradled in her arms, entered.

“Early for Naomi’s monthly visit, I see,” commented the Doctor. “Have a seat. I’ll be with you as soon as I finish here.” The Doctor proceeded to remove the “tattoo” from Tommy’s face. Tommy sat absolutely still after an exasperated Chakotay had warned him for the fourth time and threatened to let the Doctor use the biobed restraints. Piqued, Tommy refused to acknowledge Chakotay or the Doctor. His gaze wandered to Samantha and Naomi. Koty hadn’t told him there were other kids on the ship. Curiosity roused, he watched mother and child, missing his own mother and her warm presence.

Samantha approached the biobed where all the activity was taking place, noting the slowly disappearing marks on Tommy’s face with interest.

“See what you have to look forward to?” offered Chakotay wryly.

Samantha smiled, looking down at her daughter, who happily gurgled baby talk at them. Chakotay reached out a finger to fondly stroke the baby’s face and was surprised when Naomi glommed onto his finger with her tiny fist and held tight. “How have the two of you been doing?” he asked Samantha, even more concerned now that he understood the difficulties of taking care of a child aboard a starship.

“We’re doing fine, Commander. Aren’t we, Naomi?” She looked up at the Commander. “She’s a happy baby. Hardly ever fusses.”

“There!” stated the Doctor as he finished removing the remains of the indelible marker from Tommy’s face with a flourish. “All finished.”

Everyone’s attention turned expectantly to Tommy, who was once again barefaced, but Tommy was ignoring them and staring at baby Naomi. “Is the Doctor gonna take it away?” he finally asked Samantha.

Samantha’s expression turned confused. “Take what away, Tommy?” Being busy with Naomi, Samantha hadn’t had much time to spend with Tommy but she had run across him a couple of times in the mess hall and thought he was absolutely adorable.

Tommy tentatively reached out and touched the small horn on Naomi’s forehead. “That. They took mine away. Are they gonna take hers too?”

Samantha, having a pretty good idea already what was going on, shook her head. “That’s part of Naomi, Tommy. Like B’Elanna’s forehead ridges are part of her. She was born with it.”

Tommy’s eyes narrowed and he turned his gaze on Chakotay. “Is that why I couldn’t keep the tattoo? ‘Cause I wasn’t born with it?”

“Partly,” replied Chakotay carefully. “But also because you’re not allowed to play with any coloring markers, except crayons. You broke a rule.”

But Tommy refused to let go of his objective. “Were you born with yours?” He pointed to Chakotay’s tattoo.

“No, but–”

Tommy’s arms crossed. “It’s not fair!”

“Tommy–” Chakotay cut himself off this time. What could he say to him to make him understand? He felt Samantha’s light touch on his arm and looked down at her.

“Give him time, Commander,” she said under her breath. “He’ll get over it. Until the next crisis happens.” She smiled.

“I’m not sure I find that reassuring, Ensign,” he acknowledged with a wry expression. “But I’ll keep it in mind.” He turned back to the recalcitrant youngster. “Come on, Tommy. Time to get you to Neelix.” He reached out to lift Tommy from the biobed but Tommy squirmed out of his reach.

“I can get down myself!” he boldly stated, making it clear that Chakotay’s help wasn’t needed. Chakotay watched as he climbed down off the biobed, ready to catch him should he slip.

Samantha Wildman, fond smile on her face, watched as man and child exited Sickbay, Tommy still refusing to let the Commander take his hand.


	11. Flour Counseling

##  **CHAPTER 11**

##  **Flour Counseling**

Neelix glanced over to a corner of his kitchen where Tommy sat on the deck quietly building a tower with some of Neelix’s cooking utensils. Chakotay had dropped him off not long ago. Neelix couldn’t help but notice the rigid silence between the two. The Talaxian had been even more surprised when Tommy had pointedly ignored Chakotay when the Commander said goodbye to him. Something was definitely wrong between the two. And now Tommy was being noticeably quiet, not at all like his usual talkative self.

Rubbing his hands together energetically, Neelix starting pulling ingredients from shelves while saying, “So, is my Official Cookie Cutter ready for duty today?”

“Guess so,” came Tommy’s subdued reply.

Neelix frowned. That wasn’t the enthusiastic response he was accustomed to. With some coaxing, he got Tommy out of the corner and had him helping mix up the cookie ingredients in no time. There was none of the usual Tommy chatter though. After several attempts to draw him out, Neelix finally decided to take a frontal attack. As he kneaded the cookie dough, he stole a look at Tommy. “Something happen between you and Commander Chakotay today?”

Apparently, it was the right question. The dam broke and Tommy’s frustrations burst forth. “I hate Koty! He’s mean!”

Still kneading the dough and pretending Tommy’s sullen outcry hadn’t shocked him, Neelix calmly asked, “And what did Koty do to earn your dislike?”

“He wouldn’t let me keep my tattoo!” Tommy’s tone was outraged at the unfairness of it.

Now Neelix did stop what he was doing to turn and look at Tommy. “You have a tattoo?” he asked in surprise.

“I drawed one on jus’ like Koty’s last night,” Tommy told him proudly. Then his expression crumpled. “Koty said I couldn’t keep it and made me go to Sickbay this morning so the Doctor could erase it.”

“I see.” Neelix went back to kneading the dough, thinking he was perhaps starting to get the picture here. “You want a tattoo like Chakotay’s?”

“Not anymore!” Tommy denied, obviously still angry with Chakotay.

“But you did?” Neelix persisted.

Tommy shrugged and turned his attention back to cutting out cookies in the dough Neelix had already rolled out.

“Why?” asked Neelix.

“‘Cause I want to be jus’ like Koty,” Tommy wailed, tears brimming in his eyes. He angrily wiped at his eyes. “But not anymore. I don’t like him anymore.”

Leaving the kitchen behind for a moment, Neelix took Tommy out to the deserted mess hall and sat him at a table. He could see that Tommy was trying very hard not to cry.

“Tommy, did Chakotay tell you _why_ he has a tattoo?”

Tommy sniffed. “No.”

“It’s to honor his father. From what I understand, the Commander and his father didn’t get along very well when Chakotay was younger. Their heritage was very important to Chakotay’s father and he had a tattoo, like Chakotay’s. If I understand it right, the tattoo is a symbol of Chakotay’s heritage. After his father died, Chakotay decided to get the tattoo to honor his father. You see, it’s not just a simple drawing on his face. It holds great meaning for Chakotay.”

“It’s special?” asked Tommy.

“Special?” repeated Neelix, not understanding.

“Koty has a rock in his quarters with drawings on it that his grandpa gave him. He said I wasn’t allowed to touch it ‘cause it was special.”

Neelix nodded. “That’s it exactly, Tommy.”

“But my tattoo was special and Koty took it away,” protested Tommy, the lower lip starting to jut out again.

Neelix barely contained the heavy sigh that yearned to escape, then inspiration struck. “Because you hadn’t earned it,” he told the youngster. “You see, Chakotay didn’t get his tattoo until he was an adult and felt he had earned it. Now he wears it as a badge of respect for his father.”

Neelix watched as those blue eyes clouded over with thoughts that were far too weighty for a child. Then the blue eyes cleared, the pouty expression disappeared, and Tommy directed a serious gaze at Neelix. “You think I can earn a tattoo someday?”

Neelix reached across the table to pat Tommy’s hand. “I’m sure you will, Tommy. I’m sure you’ll make everyone very proud of you.” He felt his heart crack with sorrow for this young man as he remembered what would be in store for him when he was older. Leaning forward, he softly said, “Just remember, no matter what happens, there will always be someone out there who is extremely proud of you and happy to call you friend.”

Tommy didn’t understand why Neelix seemed so serious suddenly but he returned the Talaxian’s solemn look with one of his own before breaking out in giggles as Neelix playfully reached out and chucked him under the chin. Smiling at the childish giggles, Neelix clapped his hands together enthusiastically. “Now that we’ve got that all settled, how about we finish those cookies? You’re still my Official Cookie Cutter, right?”

“Right!”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Neelix was beginning to realize that as far as Tommy was concerned, everything wasn’t settled. Although he no longer seemed to be angry at Chakotay, the tattoo business was obviously still weighing heavily on the youngster’s mind. Neelix mulled this over as he retrieved a fresh container of flour from the other side of the kitchen. Turning back, he paused to watch Tommy, who was standing on a chair so he could reach the counter. Tommy ever so carefully placed the cookie cutter on the dough Neelix had rolled out and cut another cookie. Then he carefully shook the cut cookie out of the cutter and onto the cookie sheet. Every so often his tongue would snake out of the corner of his mouth as if it helped his concentration. Tommy’s attention on his cookie project was total. He took his job as Official Cookie Cutter very seriously. Maybe too seriously, Neelix thought. He was usually full of chatter during these cooking sessions, but not today.

Neelix unsnapped the lid on the flour container and, rejoining Tommy at the counter, sprinkled some flour on the counter to roll out the next batch of cookie dough. Tommy continued to concentrate on cutting cookies, but Neelix caught the youngster peering at him a time or two.

As he rolled the dough out, Neelix asked, “What’s on your mind, Tommy?”

“Do you think it’ll take a long time for me to earn a tattoo?”

One-track mind, thought Neelix. Aloud, he said, “I suppose it depends how good you are.”

“Oh,” responded a dejected Tommy. “Prob’ly take me a long time then.”

“What makes you say that?” Neelix interjected some cheer into his voice. This afternoon was turning entirely too serious. “Why, just by being here and helping me, you’re on your way to earning ‘good’ points because you’re helping someone else.”

“But I was bad this morning. I didn’t do what Koty told me.”

“Were you being bad on purpose?”

Tommy only shrugged a reply, but his downcast eyes told the truth.

Neelix heaved an internal sigh. He hadn’t expected to get into a talk of this sort with Tommy today but he hated seeing the Commander and Tommy at odds. Recalling his own childhood gave him insight into possible reasons for Tommy’s earlier disobedience. “Were you bad because you were mad at Chakotay and you wanted to make him feel bad too?”

“Maybe,” Tommy hedged. Then he voiced his real worry. “Do you think Koty’s still mad at me?”

“I doubt he was ever mad at you, Tommy,” reassured Neelix. He paused, trying to think of something wise to say. Finally, “Do you think it would make you feel better if you did something nice for Chakotay?”

Tommy’s eyes lit up.

Leaning in close, Neelix whispered in conspiratorial tones to Tommy.

* * *

An hour later, Neelix and Tommy were on their third batch of cookies, and the Koty Project, as Neelix had dubbed it, had been hatched and implemented. Tommy was back to chattering a mile a minute again and all was right with life on _Voyager_ again. Or so Neelix thought until Tommy suddenly burst out with, “Do you think it’ll take me a long, long time to earn a tattoo?”

Not this again! thought Neelix in exasperation. Covering his exasperation with a thoughtful look, he turned to Tommy and said, “Well, you know it took Chakotay a long time to earn his.”

“You mean I have to be all growed up before I can earn one?!” Tommy sounded dismayed and Neelix the Morale Officer decided it was time to kick up his efforts. “I hate all this growed up stuff,” Tommy muttered, going back to his cookie cutting duties.

Making sure Tommy’s attention was focused elsewhere, Neelix’s fingers dipped into the flour container. Liberally covered, he flicked them quickly in Tommy’s direction then turned his attention back to rolling out more dough, innocently humming a tune under his breath. A sneeze exploded from Tommy’s direction. Neelix watched him out of the corner of his eye. No reaction from the youngster, who was already back at his cookie cutter duties.

Talaxian fingers once again dipped into the flour container and with another quick flick of his wrist, sent another shower of flour in Tommy’s direction. This time, flour landed in Tommy’s hair and on his face, followed by a huge sneeze. Watching the youngster out of the corner of his eye, Neelix saw Tommy’s gaze flick suspiciously toward him this time. Still humming under his breath, Neelix ignored Tommy as he dipped his fingers once more into the flour container and ever so casually sprinkled four onto the dough he was rolling out. Tommy returned to his cookie cutting task but Neelix didn’t miss the blue eyes lifting every few seconds to cast furtive glances at him.

The next time Neelix flung flour in Tommy’s direction, he made sure the youngster caught him at it. Tommy abandoned his cookie cutter and turned to face the Talaxian, a comical expression of outrage on his face. “You can’t do that!” he exclaimed.

“Do what?” Neelix innocently asked.

“Throw flour at me!”

“And why not?”

“Because it’s-it’s–”

“Childish?”

“Yes!

“So?” Neelix barely held his laughter in check at the disgusted look Tommy tossed him.

“You’re a grownup!”

“And grownups don’t do silly things? Like having fun?”

Tommy had to think about that one. He hadn’t thought so until he came aboard _Voyager_. The grownups here were different than the ones back home. While he was thinking it over, Neelix flung another handful of flour at him, draping him in white.

“Neelix!” cried the indignant five-year-old.

“What are you going to do about it?” dared Neelix. Then he turned back to rolling out the cookie dough, ignoring Tommy. He was aware of the boy’s baffled gaze but continued to ignore him. Who would have ever thought I would be the one to teach Tom Paris how to have a down and dirty flour fight? he thought in amusement. He became so absorbed in his own train of thought that he forgot to keep track of Tommy and was taken off-guard when a puff of flour exploded in his face.

Exploding in a series of coughs and sneezes, Neelix backpedaled until he came up against the counter on the other side of the kitchen. He peered at Tommy from a white-dusted face. There was complete silence in the kitchen for a long moment until . . .

“It’s war!” Neelix shouted ardently as he dove in.

An all-out free-for-all ensued as the flour flew and their voices raised in mock threats of doom.

* * *

Fulfilling his promise to Commander Chakotay to keep an eye on Tommy, Harry strolled into the kitchen to see if the youngster was ready to go. He stopped in his tracks when something hit him in the chest. Looking down, he watched a large wad of cookie dough slide down the front of his uniform and hit the floor. Raising his eyes, he saw Tommy, crouched on a chair, giving him wide-eyed stare. Tommy was covered from head to foot with what looked like flour and had cookie dough in his hair. Neelix, standing near Tommy, didn’t look in much better shape.

“What in the world happened here?” Harry asked, aghast at the white-powdered figures facing him. Not only were Neelix and Tommy covered in flour and bits of cookie dough but so was nearly every exposed surface in the kitchen.

Both Neelix and Tommy stared at him with perfectly straight faces, until Tommy let out a loud hiccup, caused by his uncontrollable giggling in the past few minutes. The hiccup set them off again. Laughing, Neelix shared a look and a wink with Tommy and as one they both sent a large cloud of flour in Harry’s direction, coating him instantly in cloak of white.

“Hey!” protested the Ensign.

* * *

After spending the day worrying about his and Tommy’s earlier disagreement and Tommy’s refusal to speak to him following the visit to Sickbay, Chakotay had decided he needed check up on Tommy. He wasn’t certain how long his duties would keep him this evening and he didn’t want Tommy spending the whole day stewing about this tattoo business. The sight that greeted him in the kitchen was not what he had been expecting to find. Chakotay was barely able to keep the grin off his face and it was even more difficult to keep it out of his voice.

Neelix and Tommy, liberally covered with flour and cookie dough, were standing in the midst of a very messy kitchen that looked more like a war zone at the moment. Tommy’s giggles were interrupted intermittently by hiccups which seem to set off a new set of giggling. It was a sound that brought a smile to Chakotay’s lips. Judging by the expression on Tommy’s face, he’d been having a great deal of fun this afternoon. Harry, on the other hand, was looking a bit ambushed.

“Am I interrupting?” Chakotay asked mildly. He saw Harry’s shoulders stiffen when he recognized his voice. The Ensign answered without turning to face him.

“No, sir.”

Chakotay moved into the kitchen to look around. “Get a lot of baking done this afternoon, Neelix?”

“We accomplished a great deal, Commander,” answered Neelix agreeably. “Would you like a cookie? A fresh batch should be coming out of the oven any minute now.”

“No, that’s all right. I just came by to make sure Harry remembered his promise to watch Tommy since I’m running a little late today. And I wanted to let Tommy know I’d be late tonight.” Chakotay’s gaze slid to Tommy. He hadn’t missed how Tommy had moved closer to Neelix upon his entrance and that his giggling died as soon as Chakotay’s gaze settled on him.

“Still mad at me?” he asked Tommy.

Tommy shrugged, wiping at the flour on his face, with an equally flour-encrusted fist. “Am I gonna get in trouble for making a mess?”

Chakotay bit back his smile. “Looks like you weren’t the only one making a mess here. No, you’re not in trouble.”

“Then I’m not mad,” was Tommy’s easy reply. His open expression seemed to indicate that this morning’s disagreement was no longer an issue.

Chakotay breathed a sigh of relief before turning to look at Harry. He wasn’t certain how he managed to keep the grin off his face when he got his first good look at the flour-draped ensign. “Looks like Tommy will be needing a you-know-what,” he said. “I trust you can handle that, Ensign?”

“A you-know-what?” repeated a perplexed Harry.

_Bath_ , Chakotay mouthed at Harry, very aware of Tommy listening intently behind him.

“A bath, sir?” said Harry, confused as to why Chakotay just didn’t come right out and say so.

“No bath!” yelled Tommy. “No, no, no!” He jumped down from the chair and raced from the kitchen before anyone could move to intercept him.

Chakotay’s grin finally surfaced. “Did I mention, Harry, that Tommy hates baths? Good luck catching him. Neelix, is Tommy in trouble for creating this mess?”

“Uh, actually, Commander, I started it.”

“You?”

Neelix shrugged then grinned widely and started to reply but Chakotay beat him to it. “Never mind. I don’t think I want to know.” Shaking his head in amusement, the Commander exited the kitchen and headed back to the Bridge.

Neelix turned to Harry. “I’d suggest you get started on tracking Tommy down,” he advised. “He’s a quick mover. It’ll probably take you a while to catch him.”

“But how will I know where to look?” asked Harry, still trying to catch up with events.

Chuckling, Neelix pointed. “Just follow the trail.”

Harry looked. Sure enough. Sprinkles of white created a trail that led out of the mess hall. Making futile attempts to brush the flour off himself, Harry wondered what had possessed him to agree to take care of Tommy this afternoon. Giving up on even coming close to looking presentable, he trotted out of the mess hall at a slow jog in search of Tommy.

* * *

“I believe it is feasible . . .” Tuvok paused in mid-sentence and mid-stride when his acute Vulcan hearing picked up a noise that was quickly approaching their destination.

Kathryn Janeway backtracked to where Tuvok had halted. “Something wrong?”

“I believe you may wish to step to one side of the corridor, Captain. Someone is approaching our location at a run.”

“Tuvok–” Janeway stopped as her ears now picked up the sound Tuvok had been hearing.

“Nooooooo!” screamed a childish voice. “No, no, no, no!”

Then a small form rounded the corner and was past them like a shot, leaving something powdery in his wake. Crouching down, Janeway put a finger to the substance and then gingerly tasted it. “Flour.”

As she stood, a disheveled, sweaty Harry Kim rounded the corner, nearly bumping into the Captain and Tactical Officer. He paused and in between gasping breaths asked, “Which way did he go?” Janeway pointed down the corridor from the direction she and Tuvok had just come. Harry took off at a run.

“You suppose he needs our help?” Janeway asks.

“He did not seem to have the matter under control,” observed Tuvok. As they stood there contemplating the situation, they heard a loud wail that could have only come from Tommy in the near distance. “Perhaps I was in error,” said Tuvok. “It would seem that Mr. Kim now has the situation under control.”

They watched as Harry reappeared, Tommy tossed over his shoulder like bag of laundry. Tommy was kicking and hollering. “Bath time,” was all Harry said as he passed Captain Janeway and Lieutenant Tuvok once more.

“No!” hollered Tommy. “No bath!”

Harry made no reply, just kept up a steady pace, wisps of flour floating of both him and Tommy with each step. Once they had disappeared from sight, Tuvok and Janeway resumed their heading.

“As I was saying,” began Tuvok, “I believe the feasibility of . . .”

Janeway, only half-listening to her Tactical Officer, had a wide grin on her face. Life had definitely gotten more interesting on _Voyager_ since Tommy had come to stay with them.


	12. Reparations

##  **CHAPTER 12**

##  **Reparations**

Chakotay stepped into the mess hall, pausing in the doorway as his gaze wandered over the room. He was late getting here for dinner and hoped whatever Neelix had left was palatable. His gaze fell on a table over by the viewport. A much cleaner Tommy sat at a table there. Chakotay’s gaze rested fondly on the imp as he recalled the Captain’s return to the Bridge late this afternoon. Wearing a broad smile, she had sat in her captain’s seat before leaning toward him and whispering, “Tuvok and I ran into Tommy and Harry.”

“Oh?” Chakotay was careful to keep his tone noncommittal.

“Harry was muttering something about bath time and had a protesting Tommy flung over one shoulder.”

“Uh huh.” A small smile turned up the corners of Chakotay’s mouth but he kept his gaze trained on the datapadd he was perusing.

Frustrated by Chakotay’s lack of reaction, Janeway asked, “Is he always like that at bath time?”

“Not for me. We’ve worked a deal.”

“I see. So those diplomatic lessons Starfleet gives us really do come in handy.”

At that, Chakotay finally cracked a smile and lifted his gaze to meet hers.

Chakotay was brought back to the present by a strong odor wafting past his nose. Looking down at tonight’s dinner selection, he saw what appeared to be a new dish. Evidently, Neelix was experimenting again. The smell was rather enticing but the dish itself was a garish mixture of bright orange and purple with specks of green. It looked like one of Tommy’s colored drawings more than anything else. Chakotay looked over the other options and saw that Neelix was serving some sort of pudding again. He sighed. Probably another new flavor. Neelix couldn’t seem to understand that he hated pudding and kept trying to entice him with new versions. Problem was, Chakotay had never liked pudding and would never like pudding. It had always struck him as a slimy food and he simply couldn’t bring himself to eat it. While he was debating over the new garish dish, Neelix came out of the kitchen.

“Commander, you really should try the oogla paqua. Tommy couldn’t get enough of it earlier.”

Chakotay assumed the oogla paqua was the new dish. “Tommy liked it?”

“Yes, indeedy.”

Still, he hesitated, but in the end, he dished some up and restrained his protests when Neelix heaped a big spoonful of the pudding on his dinner plate as well. Dinner tray in hand, he headed for the table where Tommy sat with Harry and B’Elanna. Seeing that trio together was just like old times, except this Tom Paris was only five years old.

As he sat next to Harry and across from Tommy, Chakotay said, “I understand Tommy here gave you quite a workout this afternoon, Ensign.”

Harry Kim groaned. “How did you hear about that, sir?”

“Captain Janeway.” Chakotay grinned. Harry groaned again. B’Elanna chuckled at Harry’s embarrassment.

“Harry can run pretty fast for a growed up, Koty,” Tommy piped up.

Chakotay and B’Elanna broke out in laughter. Harry finally gave in and joined them.

Once Harry and B’Elanna had excused themselves, Chakotay made quick work of his dinner, wanting to get Tommy home for some downtime after their less than auspicious start this morning. Finished, he pushed his plate away from him only to find Tommy frowning at him.

“You didn’t clean up your plate,” he stated in a near perfect imitation of Chakotay’s tone before lapsing once again into Tommy speak. “Doncha like puddin’?”

Chakotay eyed the offending pudding on his plate. “No, Tommy. I don’t.”

“Oh. Not even choc’late puddin’?”

“Not even.”

“How come?”

Chakotay leaned in close as if confiding a great secret. “Don’t tell Neelix this, but I think it’s slimy.”

Tommy seemed to find this extremely funny. When Chakotay looked down at the slimy pudding and made a face, Tommy broke out in a fresh fit of giggles.

Chakotay gratefully soaked up Tommy’s laughter, surprised at how it seemed to wash away the stress of the day and lighten his heart. Gathering up the youngster, they headed for the mess hall door to go home for the night.

“Tommy! Commander!”

Chakotay stopped in the doorway to the mess hall at Neelix’s hail. The Talaxian rushed over to them.

“Tommy, you don’t want to forget this.” Neelix handed a flat, wrapped package to the youngster before leaning in close and whispering in Tommy’s ear. Tommy gave Neelix a hug and then the Talaxian was moving back toward his kitchen.

Once they had exited the mess hall and were walking down the corridor, Chakotay peered down at the boy at his side. “What’s in the package?” he asked.

“It’s a secret!” Tommy held the package closer to him, as if that would prevent Chakotay from figuring out the contents of the package.

“I guess that means you’re not going to tell me what it is then,” remarked Chakotay, amusement coloring his voice. Tommy gave an adamant shake of his head as they boarded the turbolift.

Minutes later, they were in Chakotay’s quarters. Tommy had reclaimed Fred from where he had left him earlier that day.

“Why don’t you go get into your pajamas?” suggested Chakotay. “Getting near your bedtime.”

“’Kay,” agreed Tommy.

Chakotay’s brows raised at his easy acquiescence. Tommy was halfway across the room heading toward the sleeping quarters when he stopped, turned, and came rushing back. Giving Chakotay a suspicious look, he retrieved the “secret” package off the table in front of the couch and turned back toward the sleeping quarters. Chakotay broke into a grin. Evidently, he wasn’t to be trusted not to sneak a peek.

Chakotay downloaded the messages on his terminal to his datapadd and then, kicking off his boots, settled on the couch to review them. It wasn’t long before a pajama-clad Tommy crawled on the couch to join him and the “secret” package was plopped down on his lap.

“It’s a surprise,” Tommy told him. “For you. You can open it now.”

Chakotay’s gaze traveled from the package to Tommy’s wide expectant eyes. Putting the datapadd aside, he picked up the package, slowly unwrapping it.

“It’s a cookie,” Tommy told him in case Chakotay hadn’t figured it out yet. Chakotay looked at the large cookie he had unwrapped. There was a smiley face painted on it and some markings above the left eye. “I made it,” Tommy said proudly. “All by myself.”

Suddenly it clicked with Chakotay what the markings above the left eye of the cookie character were. “This is my tattoo?” he asked, pointing to the frosted markings.

“Uh huh.” Tommy snuggled in closer so he was resting against Chakotay’s left side. His tone subdued, he said, “Neelix ‘splained ‘bout your tattoo. I’ll be good from now on. I promise.”

Chakotay wanted to laugh at the promise, unable to envision Tommy not up to some mischief, but Tommy’s expression and voice were so earnest that Chakotay schooled his features to not betray his humor. Curious, he asked, “What did Neelix say about my tattoo?”

“He said it was special. Something I had to earn. Like you had to earn yours.”

Chakotay shook his head, wondering why he couldn’t have thought of telling Tommy something like that this morning. Maybe then they would have avoided the whole disagreement. Evidently everything was all right now though and Chakotay took the cookie as a sign of making peace. “So, do we just look at this masterpiece of yours,” he asked softly, “or do we eat it?”

“We eat it!” Tommy said enthusiastically.

Nodding, Chakotay carefully broke off the section containing the tattoo and handed it to Tommy. “For good luck,” he said. “I’m sure when the time is right, Tommy, you’ll earn your tattoo.”


	13. Bad Things Happen to Good People

##  **CHAPTER 13**

##  **Bad Things Happen to Good People**

_“Emergency beam up!”_ B’Elanna Torres’ breathless and agitated voice washed over the Bridge. _“Beam Commander Chakotay directly to Sickbay!”_

Janeway was already turning the Bridge over to Tuvok and stepping into the turbolift as Harry performed the beam up, a sense of dread forming in the pit of his stomach as he wondered what could have gone wrong planetside.

In less than two minutes the injured Commander was under the Doctor’s care in Sickbay and Captain Janeway was meeting the rest of the away team in the transporter room, listening to B’Elanna’s report. “We had no warning, Captain,” B’Elanna told her. “The trail just suddenly gave way. Ensign LeMoyta managed to get hold of Chakotay before he went all the way over but not before he crashed into the cliff face. He was out instantly. The rest of us hauled Chakotay and LeMoyta back up. Chakotay was bleeding heavily from a head wound.”

“You did the right thing, B’Elanna,” Janeway assured her. “It doesn’t sound as if there was anything any of you could have done to prevent it.” She gave them a reassuring smile. “I’m sure Chakotay will be fine. In fact, I’m going to head to Sickbay right now and check on him. I’ll let you know what the Doctor says.”

* * *

Kes stepped into Sickbay with Tommy in tow at the same moment the emergency beam-in order came over the channel. There was no time to hustle Tommy out of Sickbay. No way to avoid his seeing the wounded Commander being beamed in.

As the Commander’s form shimmered into existence on a biobed, Kes coaxed Tommy toward the Doctor’s office, trying to shield him from what was taking place on the biobed. “Tommy, wait in here for me. I have to help the Doctor with an emergency.”

But it was too late. Tommy’s eyes had already taken in the still form on the biobed. “Koty!” he cried. “What’s wrong with Koty?”

“Kes, I need your assistance,” said the Doctor.

Knowing the patient’s welfare had to take precedence over the distressed little boy, Kes still took a moment to kneel down before Tommy. “Tommy, Chakotay is going to be just fine. Now, you go wait in the Doctor’s office. All right?” Kes straightened and hurried over to assist the Doctor.

Tommy obediently moved toward the Doctor’s office but stood just outside it, watching the proceedings. Not making a sound, he clutched Fred in his arms and waited.

* * *

Janeway entered Sickbay, taking in the scene of Kes and the Doctor working over Chakotay before her eyes caught sight of the small form standing near the Doctor’s office—Tommy, standing still as a statue, blue eyes wide in a pale face, his gaze was fixated on the Doctor and Kes. Knowing Chakotay was in good hands, the Captain went to Tommy. Kneeling beside him, she placed an arm around him. “Tommy?”

“Is he gonna die?” Fear overwhelmed Tommy’s usually exuberant voice.

“No, Tommy! No,” Janeway quickly assured him. “Chakotay’s going to be just fine. He had a little accident is all.”

Tommy’s stricken gaze found her reassuring one. “I don’t want him to die.” His eyes welled with tears.

Janeway gathered him in her arms. Catching sight of Kes coming toward them and the reassuring smile on the Ocampan’s face, Kathryn pulled back from Tommy. “Look, here comes Kes. I bet she’s going to tell us Chakotay is going to be just fine.”

Laying a hand on Tommy’s head in a familiar gesture, Kes knelt down beside the Captain to set Tommy’s fears to rest. “Chakotay’s going to be okay, Tommy. He hit his head when he was down on the planet. He just needs to sleep for a while. Other than a slight headache when he wakes up, he should be fine.” Standing, Kes held out her hand. “Come, you can see for yourself.”

Kathryn followed them to Chakotay’s bedside, where Kes lifted Tommy to sit on the edge of Chakotay’s biobed. The Doctor frowned and looked as if he were about to protest, but one look at Tommy’s scared expression changed his mind.

Tommy reached out a tentative hand to touch Chakotay’s face, but snatched it back when Chakotay moaned. The Commander’s head moved from side to side, as if in distress, then his eyes slowly opened, squinting against the light.

“Computer, decrease light level by twenty percent,” ordered the EMH.

Once his eyes adjusted to the light and he was able to ignore the pounding in his head enough to concentrate, the first sight that greeted Chakotay was a pair of frightened blue eyes. “Tommy,” he croaked through a dry throat. He fought to lift a hand to Tommy’s face and wipe at the tears there.

“Commander, you sustained a head injury down on the planet,” advised the Doctor. “You will recover, but you need rest. The blurry vision and headache should be gone by the time you next wake.” Chakotay dimly felt the hiss of a hypospray against his neck.

“Koty?” Tommy’s voice trembled uncertainly.

“I’m okay, Tommy. I just need a good long nap.”

“Will you be okay after your nap?”

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured the youngster, fighting off the effects of the sedative the Doctor had given him until he was sure Tommy understood. Chakotay spotted Kes and the Captain hovering behind Tommy. “You do what Kes and the Captain say, Tommy, and I’ll see you tonight.” His voice starting to slur, Chakotay added, “We’ll read one of your favorite bedtime stories, okay?” His eyes closed as the sedative finally took full effect.

“Tommy?” Kes’s voice was soft. “Why don’t you help me in hydroponics this afternoon? Maybe we can find a nice plant for the Commander’s quarters.”

“I wanna stay with Koty.” Tommy’s wistful look traveled from Kes to the Captain and then back to the sleeping Chakotay.

“Go with Kes, Tommy,” Janeway said softly but firmly in her captain’s voice. “I’ll make sure Chakotay knows where you are when he wakes up.”

Tommy had heard that voice before. It was the same one his father used when his mind was made up about something. It was a voice you didn’t argue with. He turned to look back at Chakotay, silently staring at him for a long moment. Then he carefully placed Fred on Chakotay’s chest and lifted Chakotay’s hand to lay atop Fred.

“Fred can keep Koty safe,” he declared.

“That’s an excellent idea, Tommy,” agreed Janeway. Helping him off the biobed, she handed him off to Kes. “Chakotay will come see you when he’s done with his nap.”

Tommy let Kes take him by the hand and lead him away, but he stopped at the door to Sickbay and glanced back. Seeing Fred was still with Chakotay seemed to reassure him before Kes guided him out of Sickbay.

* * *

Chakotay woke slowly, his hearing and smell kicking in before he was ready to open his eyes. Sickbay. The away mission. He’d fallen. Hurt his head. Tommy. His eyes snapped open.

“Well, I see you’ve finally decided to join us,” commented the Doctor as he ran a scanner over Chakotay’s form. “How’s your headache?”

“Gone.”

“And your vision?”

“It’s not blurry anymore. I feel fine, Doctor.” Chakotay moved to sit up. The Doctor allowed him to a sitting position but refused to let him off the biobed yet. Chakotay looked at the doll he held in his hand with some bemusement.

“Tommy seemed to think it would give you comfort,” offered the Doctor as he completed his examination of the Commander.

Chakotay’s eyes clouded when he recalled the fear he had seen in Tommy’s eyes. Even in his groggy state, it had cut through him like a knife. “Is Tommy okay? Where is he?”

“I believe he is with Kes. And,” the Doctor snapped off his medscanner, “you are free to go, Commander. Please report back here if you encounter any further headaches or blurriness of vision.”

Absently nodding his agreement, Chakotay quickly exited Sickbay. He needed to find Tommy and reassure himself that the youngster was fine.

* * *

Chakotay watched from the doorway for a long moment. Tommy was quietly helping Kes plant some new seedlings. Chakotay had noticed that Tommy had a tendency to be more quiet and not quite so hyper when he was around Kes. He figured Tommy must find something soothing in her. Perhaps she filled a maternal need for Tommy in the absence of the boy’s own mother.

Chakotay frowned. It had been three weeks and they were still no closer to figuring out a way to reverse the Quizah’s purification and getting Tom Paris back. The Captain, the Doctor, Kes, even Harry, who had little medical expertise, had all been putting in extra hours as they poured over possible scenarios for bringing Tom Paris back to them, but so far none had seemed viable. Chakotay was beginning to fear they wouldn’t find a solution.

Could he raise Tommy if he had to? It was a question Chakotay had tried to avoid. It was becoming harder to avoid, especially when Tommy asked how soon he would be going home or why couldn’t he talk to Momma or Daddy or one of his sisters. Those questions were happening with more frequency lately. Chakotay could sense Tommy’s growing unease over the lengthy absence of his parents.

Tommy looked up at that moment, catching sight of Chakotay standing in the doorway. A huge smile lit the boy’s face.

“Koty!”

Tommy raced over to him. Chakotay knelt down to his level and caught Tommy up in a hug. He stood, Tommy still in his arms.

“Do you feel better now?” Tommy asked worriedly. “Kes said you would feel better after your nap.”

“I feel much better,” Chakotay reassured him. “And Fred here was a big help. Thank you for leaving him with me.” He handed Fred back to Tommy.

“Fred was worried about you,” Tommy said. “He wanted to stay.”

“You tell Fred there’s nothing to worry about. Okay?”

Chakotay set Tommy back on his feet. “I have to go report in to the Captain, Tommy. I’ll meet you in the mess hall for dinner, all right?” He ran an affectionate hand through Tommy’s hair. Chakotay gave Kes a look of gratitude before he left hydroponics and returned to duty.

* * *

Settling into his quarters for the night, Chakotay couldn’t help but notice that Tommy seemed to be coming to him more than usual to show him a new discovery or ask him a question. He’d even looked up from what he was reading a couple of times to find Tommy staring at him. Kes had warned him when he had reached the mess hall tonight that Tommy might be a little clingy. The Captain had filled Chakotay in on how Tommy had been present in Sickbay when he had been beamed in from the planet and Kes had filled in the rest, warning him that Tommy was feeling very insecure after having seen Chakotay hurt and helpless.

Sighing, Chakotay put the datapadd aside, deciding those reports weren’t going to get done tonight after all. “You know,” he said to Tommy, who sat on the floor practically at Chakotay’s feet coloring in a book Kes had given him, “this Commander business is really boring tonight. What do you say we read one of your stories instead?”

Tommy’s eyes lit up. He jumped to his feet and disappeared into their sleeping quarters, where a corner had been relegated to his growing pile of treasures. It wasn’t long before he was back at Chakotay’s side with a book.

He climbed up on the couch beside Chakotay and set the book on the Commander’s lap. “Captain Janeway gave me this one,” Tommy explained. “She said Curious George reminded her of me ‘cause I’m always curious.”

“Curious George?” repeated Chakotay.

“That’s Curious George,” said Tommy, pointing to the cover where a monkey resided.

“Yes,” replied Chakotay solemnly, “I can see the resemblance between the two of you.”

Tommy giggled. “Can not! I don’t look like a monkey!”

“No, you only act like one sometimes,” Chakotay teased, tickling the giggling boy.

Once the tickling giggle fest was over, Tommy snuggled in next to him. Chakotay opened the book, holding it on his lap where Tommy could see it, and started reading.

_This is George. He lived in Africa. He was a good little monkey and always very curious. . . ._

_. . . The man with the big yellow hat put George into a little boat, and a sailor rowed them both across the water to a big ship. George was sad, but he was still a little curious. On the big ship, things began to happen. The man took off the bag. George sat on a little stool and the man said, “George I am going to take you to a big Zoo in a big city. You will like it there. Now run along and play, but don’t get into trouble.” George promised to be good. But it is easy for little monkeys to forget._

Chakotay paused to look down at the top of the blond head that was leaning in across his lap to follow the story and pictures as Chakotay read it. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought that Kathryn Janeway had found a little of Curious George in Tommy.

_On the deck he found some sea gulls. He wondered how they could fly. He was very curious. Finally he HAD to try. It looked easy. But—oh, what happened! First this—(George is diving). And then this! (George is headfirst in the water). “WHERE IS GEORGE?” The sailors looked and looked. At last they saw him struggling in the water, and almost all tired out. “Man overboard!” the sailors cried as they threw him a lifebelt. George caught it and held on. At last he was safe on board. After that, George was more careful to be a good monkey, until, at last, the long trip was over._

“I did that once,” said Tommy suddenly.

Confused, Chakotay asked, “What?”

“When I was little and didn’t know better,” explained Tommy. He looked up at Chakotay. “I climbed up on a pile of hay at Grandpa’s once and tried to fly off it.”

“Did you fly?”

“‘Course not!” Tommy gave him a disparaging look. “People can’t fly without wings!”

Chakotay’s mouth twitched upward in a smile but he tempered it in deference to Tommy’s serious demeanor. “So what happened?”

“I fell and broke my arm and . . .” Tommy trailed off.

“And?” Chakotay prompted.

“I made Momma cry. I don’t like it when she cries.”

“Well, Mommies have a tendency to do that, you know,” Chakotay consoled.

“But that was when Daddy started taking me to the flight ‘timulators!” Tommy said excitedly. “So I really did get to fly!” Tommy looked back at the book. “Do you think George will get to fly?”

“I don’t know,” Chakotay admitted. “You want to finish the story and find out?”

At Tommy’s nod, Chakotay continued on with the story.

_. . . “Oh, catch him, catch him,” they cried. George tried to run away. He almost did, but he got caught in the telephone wire, and—A thin fireman caught one arm and a fat fireman caught the other. “You fooled the fire department,” they said. “We will have to shut you up where you can’t do any more harm.” They took him away and shut him in a prison._

“They put him in prison?” Confused, Tommy looked up at Chakotay.

Chakotay met the blue gaze that was directed innocently up toward him and swallowed. It suddenly hit hard that this was Tom Paris. Tom Paris who would grow up and go to prison. For the first time since he had come aboard _Voyager_ , Chakotay felt true sorrow for that.

“Yes,” he answered quietly. “They put Curious George in jail.”

“But why?” Tommy protested. “Jails are for bad people. George wasn’t bad. He’s just curious.”

Chakotay stared at the young face looking at him so trustingly. For a moment he could almost see Tom Paris’ face overlaid on the young face. He’d never heard what prison had been like for _Voyager_ ’s pilot and Paris never talked about it. A silence which should have spoken volumes in itself, Chakotay reflected. Recalling why Tom had ended up in prison and then remembering his Maquis friends who had ended up in prison helped him find the answer to give Tommy.

“You know, Tommy, sometimes good people do bad things for what they think are the right reasons and then they have to go to prison, but that doesn’t make them bad people. Some people just have a hard time playing by the rules.” He smiled sadly at the little boy, thinking how well that description fit Tom Paris.

Tommy frowned. “I don’t think they should put George in jail,” he decided.

Chakotay slid an arm around Tommy and pulled him close. “I don’t think so either,” he said softly. “I bet the story has a happy ending. Want to find out?” He mentally crossed his fingers, hoping he had guessed right about the story’s ending as they directed their attention back to Curious George and his predicament.

_. . . George didn’t know what to do, and then he heard someone call, “GEORGE!” He looked down and saw his friend, the man with the big yellow hat! George was very happy. The man was happy too. George slid down the post and the man with the big yellow hat put him under his arm. Then he paid the balloon man for all the balloons. And then George and the man climbed into the car and at last, away they went to the ZOO! What a nice place for George to live!_

Chakotay gazed down at Tommy who was starting to nod off. Quietly closing the book and putting it aside, he gathered Tommy in his arms and headed for their sleeping quarters. As Chakotay slid Tommy into his bed, Tommy’s eyes sleepily blinked open. “I’m glad Curious George is happy,” he said.

Chakotay smiled. “So am I.” He tucked Fred in next to Tommy, who rolled over onto his side and gathered Fred up in his arms. Tommy was asleep before Chakotay had the covers tucked up around him. Chakotay reached out and ran a hand lightly over the blond hair before resting the back of a finger against Tommy’s soft cheek. He knelt there for a long moment watching him sleep.

Such an innocent. Chakotay felt true regret for what the future held for Tommy. He wished he could protect him from it but the only way that was possible at this point was if they never got the adult Tom Paris back. And that wasn’t an option. Chakotay still harbored guilt over his inability to protect a crewmember under his command. He had started out caring for Tommy more out of duty than anything else, but he now cared for the boy because . . .

Chakotay’s breath caught in his throat. _Admit it to yourself._ Because he cared for Tommy. Because Tommy brought joy to his life. Because Tommy added something to his life that he hadn’t realized he had been missing. It was no longer simply because he felt he owed Tom Paris a debt. It had become much more than that. Chakotay climbed to his feet. It did no good to worry. He had to keep the faith that they would come up with a way to restore Tom Paris to them.

Worn out from the day’s events, Chakotay retired early. Lights out and safely ensconced in his own bed, Chakotay fell asleep to the rhythm of Tommy’s breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Curious George_ : Taken from _Curious George_ by H.A. Rey.


	14. Monsters

##  **CHAPTER 14**

##  **Monsters**

Five-year-old eyes snapped open to gaze fearfully about the room, which was bathed in darkness and shadows. His breath came in hitching gasps. Monsters. There were monsters. And they were trying to get Koty. Then they would come for him. Tommy tried to be brave but monsters scared him worse than anything. Even worse than being forced to eat that spinach casserole his mother was always making that Daddy liked so well.

Tommy’s frightened eyes roamed the dark room fearfully. There! The monster was under Koty’s bed! He could see the red eyes staring out at him. The monster would eat Koty and then come for him. Koty could make the monster go away. Tommy was sure of that. But he was scared to move. Scared the monster would crawl out from under the bed and grab him.

But if Koty could save them then it was worth the risk. Decision made, in one swift motion Tommy kicked his covers off, grabbed Fred and made a wild leap for Koty’s bed. He landed half on half off the bed. His legs dangled dangerously over the edge. _Danger!_ his mind screamed. The monster’s gonna grab your legs and pull you under the bed! Adrenaline gave him the extra burst of energy he needed to frantically pull himself the rest of the way atop the bed.

Fred still secure in his arms, Tommy crept over to where Koty lay sleeping. “Koty!” he whispered, not wanting the monster to hear him. “Koty, wake up! Please, wake up!” His voice wobbled dangerously but Tommy refused to give in to the scared tears that threatened to overflow.

* * *

Chakotay awoke with a start, unable to place what had wakened him. Then he heard Tommy’s voice coming from nearby. A small hand pushed at his shoulder.

“Koty! Wake up!”

“Tommy,” said Chakotay groggily, “what’s wrong?”

“There’s a monster, Koty. Make it go ‘way. Please make it go ‘way.”

The tremor of real fear in Tommy’s voice snapped Chakotay to full awareness. Tommy was huddled next to him in his bed. His arm went around the small body, trying to reassure him. “What monster, Tommy?”

“The one under the bed. It wants to eat you, then it’s gonna get me and Fred.”

Monster under the bed? Chakotay frowned, remembering the all too real fears he’d had as a child about monsters under the bed. He also remembered how his mother and father had soothed his fears. Softly, he said, “Ah, you mean Wicahmunga.”

Tommy scooted in closer to him, his face buried in Chakotay’s side. His voice was muffled when he spoke. “Wicahmunga?”

“Yes. An evil spirit.” Chakotay felt Tommy’s body stiffen further in fear and he quickly added, “It’s all right, Tommy. Wicahmunga has no power over us. He may look scary but he can’t hurt us.”

“He’s gonna eat you, Koty,” came Tommy’s plaintive cry of fear, unwilling to dismiss the monster so easily.

Sighing, Chakotay realized he wasn’t going to get any more sleep tonight until he convinced Tommy they were safe from the monster. Raising his voice, he called for lights, blinking away sleep as the lights came up. He sat up and leaned back against the headboard. Tommy, his hold still tight, came with him. “Tommy, did what happened earlier today, when I was hurt on the away team mission, scare you?”

Tommy didn’t understand what this had to do with the monster under the bed but the lights and Koty’s nearness calmed him. “Guess so.”

“Why?”

Tommy didn’t understand the question. “Why what?”

“Why did my getting hurt scare you?”

“‘Cause I thought you were gonna leave. Momma and Daddy left. You promised you wouldn’t leave, Koty!” The last was uttered as an accusation.

So Kes had been right, thought Chakotay. At the moment he was Tommy’s only anchor in life and Tommy was afraid that anchor was about to be pulled up and leave without him. “I’m not going to leave, Tommy,” he reassured the youth. “And your mommy and daddy didn’t leave either. They’re just away on a trip, remember? They’ll be back for you soon.”

“How soon?”

“Soon,” promised Chakotay. “Right now, we’ve got a monster to take care of, don’t we?” Chakotay knew it was useless to attempt to tell Tommy the monster under the bed was all in his imagination. He’d never believe it. As a child, Chakotay hadn’t believed the monster didn’t exist either. He swung his legs over the side of the bed. Tommy didn’t utter a word. Just watched fearfully, waiting for the monster to reach out and snag Koty. But that didn’t happen.

Chakotay walked around the bed, closely examining it. Finally reaching the side where Tommy’s bed rested, he knelt between the two beds and firmly knocked with his knuckles on the base of the bed where it met the floor. In reality, the beds on _Voyager_ had no “under” to them. Looking up at Tommy, he said, “See? No monsters. Come here and take a look, Tommy.”

Tommy warily crept on hands and knees to the edge of the bed. Gripping Fred tightly in one arm, he fearfully peeped over the edge of the bed, and saw nothing but the deck and the base of the bed, where Koty’s hand rested. “It was there,” he insisted. “I saw it looking at me.”

At a loss how to convince Tommy there wasn’t a monster residing under the bed, Chakotay tried, “Maybe it’s a good monster?”

“No! It was gonna eat you, Koty!” Tommy’s eyes were starting to brim over with terror again.

Chakotay ran a hand over his mouth, thinking hard and coming up with no solutions. The best he could do at the moment was to assure Tommy he was safe. Maybe Kes would have some idea what to do about this. Resolving to talk to her in the morning, he glanced over his shoulder at Tommy’s bed, which had a bird’s eye view of the bottom of his bed. Probably no persuading Tommy to go back there tonight either, he realized.

Getting to his feet, Chakotay circled the bed once more, making a big show of checking for monsters before crawling back into the bed. “No more monsters,” he told Tommy. “How’s Fred doing?”

Tommy crawled back over to Chakotay, snuggling under the covers with him. “Fred thinks it would be better to stay in the big bed tonight,” he told Chakotay solemnly.

“All right,” agreed Chakotay, an unspoken ‘only for tonight’ hanging in the air. “As long as Fred is feeling safe.”

Tommy, head resting on Chakotay’s outstretched arm, assured Chakotay, “Fred says it’s okay. He says you scared the monster away.”

“And now it’s time for you and Fred to get some sleep,” Chakotay ordered softly. Hearing no protests, Chakotay ordered the lights out. When the room was once more bathed in darkness, Tommy’s small body stiffened. Chakotay ran a soothing hand up and down his back. “It’s okay, Tommy,” he crooned softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Chakotay lay awake in the darkness, not relaxing until he finally heard the soft even breathing that indicated Tommy had fallen back asleep. Frown on his face, Chakotay eventually followed him down the path of sleep.


	15. Monster, Monster, Go Away

##  **CHAPTER 15**

##  **Monster, Monster, Go Away**

Chakotay awoke the next morning to find he’d been sleeping flat on his back with a small body draped over his chest. He frowned when he saw Tommy’s thumb was firmly ensconced in his mouth again. The first time that had happened Chakotay had worriedly quizzed Kes about it, but she had assured him that it was most likely Tommy’s insecurity over being away from his family and that unless the behavior persisted, he shouldn’t be concerned about it. Troubled about the implications of Tommy’s bed-hopping and thumb-sucking, Chakotay gently dislodged the sleeping boy and crawled out of bed, heading for the bathroom.

Minutes later, fresh from his morning shower and shave, Chakotay exited the bathroom. Glancing at the bed, he saw that Tommy was still sound asleep. Tommy was usually up bright and early. It was unusual for him to sleep in like this. He’d let Tommy sleep a while longer, he decided. Chakotay draped a clean change of clothes over the foot of the bed for Tommy before heading for the outer room.

It wasn’t long, however, before a rumpled-looking Tommy put in an appearance. Other than Tommy’s unusual bout of sleeping in, their morning followed the usual routine. Even though Tommy made no mention of why he had climbed into Chakotay’s bed during the night, Chakotay decided the monsters would still require some investigation.

Dropping Tommy off with Kes, Chakotay quietly pulled her aside and explained what had happened the night before. Kes promised to try to get Tommy to talk about it. That resolved for the moment, Chakotay headed for the Bridge.

The Captain cheerfully greeted him then leaned over as he settled himself into his chair and quietly asked how Tommy was.

Chakotay shrugged. “I think he’s fine this morning. He had a nightmare last night though and ended up in my bed, claiming there was a monster under it.”

Kathryn Janeway frowned. “You think it had something to do with what happened yesterday?”

“Probably,” Chakotay admitted, his brow knitted in worry.

Janeway reached over and patted his arm. “Children are very resilient,” she told him. “If he seems fine today, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“You’re probably right.” Chakotay lowered his voice even more. “It’s been nearly three weeks. . .”

“Getting worried you may be stuck with him forever?” she teased, but seeing his worried expression, she quickly sobered. “We’re working on it, Chakotay. We all want Tom back. The Doctor told me yesterday that he was researching a possible angle but wanted to investigate it further before sharing. Just give them some time to figure it all out. I’m sure they’ll come up with a plan to reverse the Quizah purification.”

“By that time, Tommy will probably be a teenager,” Chakotay commented dryly.

Janeway laughed. Chakotay didn’t.

Janeway offered encouragement, knowing that Chakotay was still holding himself responsible for Tom Paris’ current situation. “You’re doing a terrific job with him, Chakotay.”

“Maybe. I have to admit that I’m completely at a loss to how to convince him there are no monsters under the bed though.”

“I apologize for interrupting, Captain, Commander,” came a voice from behind them. Both turned to Tuvok at his station. “I did not intend to eavesdrop on your conversation but could not help but hear your concerns, Commander. I may be able to offer some assistance.”

Chakotay thought back over what he and the Captain had been discussing but couldn’t see where Tuvok would fit into any of that. “Help? How?”

“What you are in need of, Commander,” offered Tuvok blandly, “is a monster spell to reassure Tommy.”

“A monster spell? That sounds very unVulcan, Tuvok,” Janeway teased.

“On the contrary, Captain,” refuted Tuvok. “Vulcan children are not born possessing logic. It is a learned trait. While young, they are subject to many of the same fears as Human children. I had particular trouble with my daughter and a monster in the closet.”

Chakotay was about to grin at this picture until the faraway expression in Tuvok’s eyes caught his attention and he realized how difficult it must be for Tuvok to be so far away from his wife and children. “I don’t suppose you have one of these monster spells handy?”

“If you wish, Commander,” offered Tuvok, “I will visit your quarters this evening around Tommy’s bedtime and we shall perform a ceremony to exorcise the monsters. I shall have to modify it slightly for a Human child of course.”

Seeing no harm in it and holding a small glimmer of hope that this might actually work, Chakotay nodded. “I look forward to your visit, Tuvok.” He settled back into his chair, feeling much more at ease.

* * *

That evening, Chakotay realized the monster situation was indeed still very much a concern. Tommy’s eyes had grown wide with distress when Chakotay had indicated it was Tommy’s bedtime. “Can I sleep in your bed tonight, Koty?”

“Tommy, the monster under my bed is gone. It’s safe to sleep in your own bed.”

Tommy gave an adamant shake of his head. “The monster’ll come back,” he insisted.

Chakotay was saved having to answer by the chiming of the door to his quarters. “Come,” he called, relieved to see Tuvok entering. The Vulcan held a rolled-up scroll in one hand and an incense candle in the other.

“You’re just in time, Tuvok,” greeted Chakotay. “We were just discussing sleeping arrangements for tonight.”

Looking at Tommy, Tuvok said, “Good evening, Tommy. I understand you had a monster under your bed last night.”

Tommy shook his head. “It was under Koty’s bed. But I could see it from my bed.”

“Then we must exorcise it.”

“Exor-what?”

“Make it go away,” explained Tuvok. “Forever.”

“You can do that?” Tommy’s eyes were wide with wonder.

“I believe so. I will require your help to achieve this, however.” Tuvok’s gaze switched to Chakotay for a moment. “With your permission, Commander?”

“What? Oh.” Chakotay realized Tuvok was asking permission to enter his sleeping quarters. “By all means, Tuvok.”

Tommy and Chakotay followed Tuvok into the sleeping quarters. Tuvok carefully lay the rolled-up scroll on Chakotay’s bed. Setting the incense candle on the night table, he lit it. A pleasant odor reminiscent of cinnamon that reminded Chakotay of his mother and baking cookies filled the room. Chakotay was taken completely by surprise when Tuvok began his chant to exorcise the monster. He had been expecting something, well, something Vulcan. Instead, he heard Tuvok calmly and seriously uttering a nonsensical incantation.

Circling the bed, Tuvok stared hard at it, as if willing the monster away with his hard gaze alone. Then he began speaking softly, slowly letting his voice build in volume.

_“Monster, Monster, go away._

_Don’t come back another day._

_Stay out of this room_

_Or you will be doomed._

_Monster, Monster, go away._

_Don’t come back another day._

_Monster, leave Koty alone_

_Or we will turn you into stone._

_Monster, Monster, go away._

_Don’t come back another day._

_Monster, stay out from under beds._

_Monster, you cannot have Fred._

_Monster, Monster, go away._

_Don’t come back another day._

_Monster, Tommy commands you “Go Away!”_

_This you will obey.”_

Tommy grasped Tuvok’s hand tightly and scrunching up his face in a vicious expression, he yelled, “Go ‘way, Monster!”

Tuvok continued to chant around the bed, Tommy now accompanying him.

_“Monster, Monster, go away._

_Don’t come back another day._

_Monster, vanish!_

_You are banished!_

_Monster, you are not welcome here._

_In this we are sincere._

_Leave this place now._

_For this we vow:_

_Here you will never return._

_For in this place love burns._

_Monster, Monster–”_

Tommy’s voice joined Tuvok’s in the chant.

_“–go away._

_Don’t come back another day!”_

Chakotay held his breath as silence descended upon the room. Tuvok quietly reached to extinguish the candle’s flame. Looking awed, Tommy said, “The monster’s really gone?”

“The monster has been banished, Tommy,” confirmed Tuvok. “He will never trouble you again.”

“What if another one comes to take his place?”

Leave it to Tommy to see a loophole, groaned Chakotay. However, it seemed that Tuvok had that possibility covered also. Reaching for the scroll on the bed, Tuvok unrolled it. Carefully handwritten upon the scroll were the Monster Words. “We will hang this near your beds,” Tuvok told them. “It will ward off all monsters.”

Tommy watched as Tuvok fastened the scroll to the wall behind his bed. Turning back to the room’s other occupants, Tuvok asked, “This meets with your approval?”

Tommy nodded. Chakotay breathed a sigh of relief.

“Tommy, go brush your teeth and get your pajamas on while I see Tuvok out, okay?” As he and Tuvok left the sleeping quarters, Chakotay peered back to make sure Tommy was all right with being left alone in a room where a monster had recently been banished. Tommy, showing no concern, was already disappearing into the bathroom.

In the outer room, Chakotay turned to Tuvok. “You never cease to amaze me, Tuvok.”

“I will take that as a compliment, Commander. I trust should there be further difficulties that you can now perform the monster spell?”

“I think I can handle it,” Chakotay grinned. Sobering slightly, his voice full of sincerity, Chakotay said, “Thank you, Tuvok.”

Tuvok nodded acknowledgment before exiting the Commander’s quarters and Chakotay, surprised at the heavy burden of anxiety that had lifted with Tuvok’s visit, caught himself smiling and repeating the monster chant to himself. Still smiling, he went in search of his young charge to make the next important decision—what bedtime story would be shared that night.


	16. Nightmare

##  **CHAPTER 16**

##  **Nightmare**

It was during the third week of Tommy’s stay on _Voyager_ when Chakotay’s strength of spirit was tested. The day had started out calm enough. In fact, _Voyager_ ’s flight through the Delta Quadrant had been much too uneventful as of late. Something Chakotay would later reflect upon and realize it should have set off warning bells for him. _Voyager_ seldom experienced long periods of calmness.

On this particular day, _Voyager_ ’s first officer found himself on the Bridge at his station going over various ship’s reports. The Captain had just retired to her Ready Room, leaving the Bridge under his charge.

The suddenness of the attack took them all by surprise. One moment they were smoothly gliding through space, the next the ship was rocking from an intense blast from an unknown source.

“Shields!” ordered Chakotay.

“Shields up,” confirmed Tuvok.

Chakotay was about to call the Captain to the Bridge when the Ready Room door slid open and she emerged.

“Status,” she snapped, her eyes going to the main viewscreen, which revealed nothing out of the ordinary.

The ship rocked as another blast hit its shields.

“Captain, several small ships appeared out of nowhere,” reported Kim. “They didn’t show up on sensors until they fired on us.”

“Cloaking devices?” asked Janeway as she took her seat and checked the readouts for herself.

“I do not believe so, Captain,” replied Tuvok.

“It appears more like they’re in a different dimension than us, Captain,” added Harry Kim. “They keep phasing in and out, which is why we’re unable to get an accurate reading on them.”

“They appear to be attacking in a swarm formation, Captain,” said Chakotay.

“Mr. Baytart, evasive maneuver Delta Phi Two,” instructed Janeway, with a fleeting wish that Tom Paris was at the helm. While Baytart was adequate as _Voyager_ ’s pilot, he was no Tom Paris. With Tom she would have simply instructed him to proceed with evasive maneuvers, knowing he would coordinate with Tuvok without specific maneuver instructions from her. “Mr. Kim, open hailing frequencies. Send the universal greeting.”

They all grabbed onto handholds as _Voyager_ shook violently from another barrage of fire from the swarm of ships.

* * *

One deck away from _Voyager_ ’s Bridge, a small form ran along an abandoned corridor, not understanding what it meant when Koty’s voice came over the ship’s all-call and ordered all personnel on Deck Two to abandon it as life support was failing. A breach in the hull would, in a matter of minutes, cause the automatic heavy doors and forcefields to close the deck off from the rest of the ship.

When the Red Alert had first sounded, Tommy had been in the mess hall with Neelix, working on another of their “gourmet specials” as the Talaxian liked to call them. Tommy hadn’t missed how Neelix had tensed up suddenly and become all serious. He had ordered Tommy to stay in the kitchen. Ever curious, Tommy, of course, hadn’t paid attention to this order. He had peeked around the door of the kitchen to see Neelix talking with one of Tuvok’s security people. Undetected by Neelix or the security ensign, Tommy, Fred snuggled under one arm, had made his escape from the mess hall. He knew what a Red Alert was. It meant trouble. Running down the corridor, his only thought had been to find Koty. He had to make sure Koty was safe.

Tommy skidded to a stop when he saw a forcefield sparkle into existence before him. Looking behind him, Tommy could see the same forcefields popping into existence there as well. In the near distance, he heard the clanging of heavy doors slamming into place. Tommy’s eyes lit upon a Jeffries tube entrance.

Harry had given him a tour of some of the ship’s Jeffries tubes one day, explaining how you could get anywhere on the ship using the tubes. Tommy hadn’t been able to understand why you would need to do that when you had the corridors and turbolifts to get you there anyway. Right now, though, the Jeffries tube seemed like a good idea. He quickly popped the door open and crawled inside. Fred dropped to the deck behind him. Tommy quickly reached back out and retrieved Fred before beginning his crawl up through the Jeffries tube. He never noticed the emergency door that slid shut over the tube’s entrance to the corridor he had just exited or how close he had come to having his arm sliced off when he had reached back for Fred.

* * *

Chakotay’s heart skipped a beat when it became apparent they would have to close down Deck Two. The Mess Hall was on Deck Two. Tommy was on Deck Two. He took a deep breath. Neelix was with Tommy. He wouldn’t let anything happen to him. With only a fleeting moment to give in to the worry about Tommy, Chakotay was soon drawn back into his duties as first officer on a ship that was under fire.

Zeroing in on a reading on his station display, Chakotay barked loudly at the helm, “Hard to port, Baytart! Now!”

They narrowly missed colliding with one of the small alien ships that had been hurdling toward them in some sort of kamikaze maneuver from the looks of it. He exchanged a long look with the Captain.

Her mouth firm in a grim line Chakotay recognized, she ordered Tuvok to open fire on the ships. Unfortunately, _Voyager_ ’s weapons were less than effective on the ships that kept phasing in and out of their dimension. _Voyager_ , on the other hand, was taking a battering and there didn’t seem to be a thing they could to about it. The ships refused to answer repeated hails from _Voyager_.

* * *

Tommy had just reached the next deck, despite being battered back and forth by the violent shaking of _Voyager_ from the constant stream of weapons fire, when Fred dropped from his grasp. He turned back to retrieve Fred and was appalled to see a metal door slam down, blocking his way back. That wasn’t what elicited the wail of horror from the small boy, however. The door had slammed down on Fred, just above his legs. Tommy tugged on Fred but the door wouldn’t release him.

Tears rolling down his face, Tommy crumpled against the tube wall, his horrified gaze fixed on the trapped doll. He made no sounds other than an occasional whimper.

* * *

The battle was over with a suddenness that took all their breaths away.

“Curious,” Tuvok was finally heard to comment.

Janeway and Chakotay turned to look at the Tactical Officer.

“There appears to be a border of space they will not cross. It is possible we had inadvertently trespassed in their space and did not recognize their border warnings.”

“You think they were just defending their space?” asked Chakotay.

“As they are not pursuing us, I believe that is a strong possibility, Commander.”

Janeway turned to Harry Kim. “Ensign? What are the alien ships doing now?”

Harry shook his head. “They’ve disappeared again, Captain. I’ve analyzed their movements though, and they’ve been limiting themselves to a certain area of space. I think Lieutenant Tuvok’s theory may have some merit.”

“Very well,” replied Janeway. “Get me reports on ship’s status and injuries. Let’s keep running on yellow alert with shields up for a bit longer. I want to be sure we’ve left them behind.” As she turned back to her own station readouts, Chakotay’s quiet but tense voice suddenly captured her attention. He wasn’t speaking to her but to someone over his combadge.

“You’ve what?! How could you lose him? What if something’s happened to him?”

_“I’m sorry, Commander,”_ came Neelix’s apologetic, worried voice. _“I left him in the kitchen for just a moment while I went to talk with Ensign Merkeles. It was only for a moment.”_

“That’s all it takes with Tommy. You know that!”

Janeway placed a soothing hand on Chakotay’s arm. In his anger, he nearly shook her off before he realized who it was.

_“We were able to verify he wasn’t on Deck Two when it was closed off from the rest of the ship, Commander,”_ replied Neelix. _“I wouldn’t have left without knowing that.”_ His offended tone came through clearly.

Janeway leaned over to join in the conversation, giving Chakotay a moment to collect himself. “We know that, Neelix. Any reports of sightings or indications where he might be or might have been heading?”

“He would have been looking for me,” came Chakotay’s quiet voice. He sounded much calmer now, until one looked in his eyes and saw the panic there. “He’s been scared of losing me ever since that away team incident.”

“We already checked the turbolift logs,” supplied Neelix. “There’s no record of him using them in the last hour. We tried scanning for the combadge that Lieutenant Torres fixed up for him but internal sensors are down at the moment.”

“I’m coming down,” Chakotay said, getting to his feet.

Janeway didn’t try to stop him. Sometimes the personal had to supersede duty. Now was one of those times.

As Chakotay boarded the turbolift, he heard the Captain’s voice come over the ship’s all-call. She updated the crew on what had just taken place with the alien attack, reassured them with her usual diplomacy and then alerted them to be on the lookout for Tommy. Then, before closing the link, she made a plea directly to Tommy, telling him he was to report in immediately to the Bridge if he could hear this. Chakotay closed his eyes, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. He should have thought of that himself. He was letting his panic override his common sense. By the time he joined Neelix, he was in control once more, at least on the surface. Below his calm facade, he was a roiling mass of nerves, his imagination leading him down dark paths, each containing a different scenario for what could have happened to Tommy.

* * *

In a dark Jeffries tube, a frightened boy still sat against the wall, hands clenched around his drawn-up legs, eyes fixated on the heavy door that had slammed down on Fred. The Captain’s all-call dimly sounded through the Jeffries tube, muted by heavy doors that had slammed into place to cut the rest of the ship off from the at-the-moment inhospitable Deck Two. The all-call didn’t register with Tommy. He whimpered. It was dark in here. The walls were so close. He felt like he was suffocating. He was going to die here. Finally, a sound other than a whimper emerged from him.

“Momma.”

It was a faint whisper from a terror-filled voice. The darkness enshrouded him, trapped him in its inescapable grasp. He fell silent, trapped in the nightmare.


	17. Fear

##  **CHAPTER 17**

##  **Fear**

Chakotay let his Starfleet and Maquis training take over and ran through all the possibilities of where Tommy could be with a cold logic that would have rivaled Tuvok’s.

“All right.” He paced back and forth before Neelix and the security personnel Tuvok had assigned to assist in locating Tommy. “Last seen he was on Deck Two in the mess hall. There’s no record of him accessing the turbolifts to leave Deck Two, yet when you ran a lifeform scan on Deck Two before internal sensors went down, there were no lifeforms present other than your own. So he wasn’t on Deck Two at that time. How did he get off Deck Two if he didn’t use the turbolifts?”

Ensigns Lakal and Beeman, both on the security task force currently assigned to Chakotay, started to speak at the same time. They exchanged a look and then Lakal graciously indicated Beeman should go ahead. If the situation hadn’t been so grim, Chakotay would have laughed. He wondered when these two would figure out they were attracted to each other.

“Sir,” said Beeman, “I can only see two scenarios. One, someone beamed him off Deck Two. Either someone from _Voyager_ or one of the alien ships we were engaging at the time.” All their faces reflected doubt at the likelihood of that being the case. “Two,” Beeman continued, “Tommy used the Jeffries tubes.”

Chakotay felt as if he’d been struck between the eyes with a hydro spanner. Of course! The Jeffries tubes! Why hadn’t he thought of that? Because you’re thinking with your heart and not your head, he chastised himself. Then his blood froze. There were emergency doors that slammed into place in the Jeffries tubes when sealing off a deck. What if Tommy . . . ? He shook his head, refusing to even think it.

“Let’s assume, for the moment, that Tommy’s holed up in one of the Jeffries tubes. We’ll divide them into quarters. Beeman, you take those aft. Lakal, you have the starboard ones. Neelix, you take port. I’ll take forward.”

They all departed for their designated Jeffries tubes.

* * *

Nearly an hour later, Chakotay was on his last Jeffries tube. So far, no Tommy. None of the others had lucked out either. Chakotay’s dread was growing to mammoth proportions as he become more and more fearful of what he might eventually find. Even the Captain’s optimism had dimmed.

As he crawled through the Jeffries tube, the light affixed to his wrist cast a light down the long tube. Chakotay paused. Had he heard something? He stilled for a long moment. There it was again. A sound up ahead but he couldn’t make out what it was.

“Tommy?”

There was a long tense moment and then, “K-K-Koty?”

The voice was weak, stuttering with fear. But it was Tommy. Thank God! “I’m coming, Tommy! I’ll be right there!”

He crawled as quickly as his bulk would allow him to move along the Jeffries tube. His light finally picked up a small form huddled to one side of the tube. Tommy’s tear-streaked face turned toward him, eyes wide in a pale face. In a matter of seconds Tommy had unwound himself from his protective huddle and thrown himself into Chakotay’s arms.

Chakotay held the small body against him. Tommy’s body was trembling uncontrollably. He let Tommy sob into his chest for several minutes until he finally felt some of the tension leave the youngster’s body.

His own eyes suspiciously bright, Chakotay softly crooned to Tommy as he gently rocked him back and forth. “Shhh. It’s all right. It’s all right. It’s all right, Tommy. You’re safe.”

“Scared,” came Tommy’s voice, muffled against his chest.

“I know. But you’re safe now.”

After a couple more hiccupping sobs, Tommy blurted, “It’s my fault!”

“Tommy, it’s all right,” Chakotay assured him. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It is!” Tommy insisted. “I killed Fred!” And he dissolved into a fresh round of sobs.

Fred? Chakotay was completely lost. What did Fred have to do with this? Where was the doll anyway? He flashed his wrist light around the tube. A flash of color caught the light. Fred. Trapped beneath the emergency door. Chakotay caught his breath, not even wanting to think how close Tommy must have come to being crushed beneath the door. He had an insane urge to laugh at the lunacy of being worried about a doll trapped beneath a door, but it was all too real for Tommy, who’d been trapped here for two hours with what he thought was a dying Fred.

“Shhh. Tommy, come on. Look at me.”

Blue eyes swimming with tears gazed up at him. There was too much pain and misery there for a five-year-old. It tore at Chakotay’s heart. He took a shuddering breath as everything began to catch up with him. He had to hold it together for Tommy. “Fred’s going to be fine,” he finally told the youngster in a surprisingly normal voice. “We’ll get him out from under the emergency panel and have the Doctor take a look at him, okay?”

Tommy scrubbed at his eyes as Chakotay tapped his combadge. “Chakotay to Janeway. I found him, Captain. He’s fine.”

_“I’ll alert the others,”_ Janeway replied, relief filling her voice. _“Do you need any assistance?”_

“We’re in Jeffries Tube 2AD, Captain. Is it safe for us to release the emergency panels and proceed to Deck Two?”

_“Yes. We just restored life support to Deck Two.”_

“Good. We’ll be in Sickbay.”

_“Sickbay? Chakotay, you said–”_

“Tommy’s fine, Captain,” Chakotay quickly reassured her. “It’s . . . Fred.” Chakotay’s voice was full of solemn sincerity.

_“I see,”_ replied Janeway, no hint of humor evident in her voice either. The situation had thrown a scare into all of them. Nobody was finding much humor in anything at the moment. _“Keep me apprised of the situation, Commander.”_

“Yes, Captain. Chakotay out.” Chakotay scooted forward toward the emergency panel, keeping Tommy in his arms. “Let’s see about getting Fred out of here, hmm?”

* * *

The EMH, finishing up with the last of his patients who had been injured during the recent attack, paid only scant attention when Commander Chakotay and Tommy entered Sickbay. He was peripherally aware of Kes settling them on a nearby biobed. Once he finished healing Ensign Vorik’s broken arm and had sent him on his way, he turned to see what he could do for the Commander.

He took a quick scan of Chakotay and Tommy while waiting for the Commander to speak. Both were showing elevated stress levels, which the Doctor attributed to the recent engagement with the aliens, but neither had any physical injuries he could detect.

“Doctor, we need you to take a look at Fred,” said Chakotay calmly.

Fred? _Fred?!_ The Commander wanted him to treat a doll? The Doctor opened his mouth to lambaste the Commander but snapped it shut when Kes placed a quelling hand on his arm and nodded in Tommy’s direction. The Doctor took in Tommy’s wide frightened eyes, the evidence of tears recently shed, the slight quiver of his lips indicating there were more tears yet to be shed, and realized that by treating Fred he was in essence treating Tommy, who had obviously been traumatized by recent events.

Showing uncharacteristic empathy, the Doctor gently picked up Fred from where he was cradled in Chakotay’s arm. Aware that Tommy was watching his every move, the Doctor carefully placed Fred on the biobed and pretended to scan him.

“What happened?” asked the Doctor.

“Fred was trapped in a Jeffries tube when one of the emergency panels slid shut. The door caught him across him abdomen.”

“Ah yes,” commented the Doctor, playing along. “I can see that. There’s extensive bruising in the area but no life-threatening injuries. Kes, get me twenty cc’s of trioxilene, please.”

Tommy kept a close eye on the proceedings, watching as the Doctor injected Fred with a hypospray then waved the scanner over him again. Finally straightening from the patient, the Doctor told Tommy, “I believe Fred will make a full recovery. What he needs now is rest. I suggest you take him home and put him to bed. He should be fine by tomorrow.”

“He’s gonna be all right?” Tommy quavered.

“He’ll be fine,” the Doctor replied brusquely, unsure how to handle Tommy’s obvious vulnerability. The EMH was flabbergasted when Tommy suddenly threw his arms around him. His programming didn’t cover this kind of behavior. He awkwardly patted Tommy on the back. “Fred will make a complete recovery,” he reassured the little boy.

Taking pity on the Doctor and grateful that he had played along with reassuring Tommy about Fred’s health, Chakotay stood and plucked Tommy from the biobed to set him on his feet. He gently placed Fred in Tommy’s arms. “Let’s go home and put Fred to bed like the Doctor suggested,” he said.

Cradling Fred in his arms, Tommy preceded Chakotay out of Sickbay, once more feeling safe in the knowledge that Koty would never let him down.

* * *

Janeway, in her Ready Room, answered Chakotay’s hail. “How’s Tommy . . . and Fred?”

_“Tommy’s putting Fred to bed as we speak,”_ Chakotay told her. _“The Doctor recommended bed rest.”_

Janeway would have smiled, except she detected no hint of amusement in Chakotay’s voice. “And Tommy?”

_“Pretty shaken up. He thought he had killed Fred. One of the emergency panels came down on top of Fred, crushing him. Kathryn . . . it had to have come close to getting Tommy too.”_

“Sounds as if Tommy’s not the only one who’s a bit shaken up,” she observed softly. “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Stay with Tommy? I think we’ve got a handle on things up here.”

_“Thank you, Captain. I have a feeling he wouldn’t react very calmly to me leaving him right now.”_

“That’s understandable, given the circumstances,” replied Janeway. “Take care of Tommy. We’ll talk later. Janeway out.”

* * *

Chakotay spent most of the remainder of the day reassuring Tommy that Fred was okay. They checked his temperature numerous times. Checked his pulse. Made sure he was tucked in and sleeping soundly. Chakotay was the soul of patience. He understood that every single fear Tommy had about Fred was the same fear he himself had about Tommy. To top it all off, he finally got Tommy to admit that he had left, without Neelix’s permission, to search for Chakotay. Not because he was scared but because he wanted to make sure Koty was safe.

Now, several hours later, Tommy was asleep, Fred placed carefully in bed beside him where he could keep an eye on him. Chakotay was about done in himself. After a quick check at the incoming reports of ship’s status and reassured that things were indeed under control, he retired for the night. He quickly slipped into a deep sleep, the day’s events still haunting him.

* * *

_Chakotay stared down the long Jeffries tube. Tommy was running toward him, arms outstretched, joyfully calling his name. Relieved to see him, Chakotay held his arms open wide, prepared to sweep Tommy up in a big hug. Suddenly a red alert began blaring and Chakotay saw the warning light flash that indicated the emergency panel was about to slam into place. Tommy was practically under it._

_“Tommy! No!”_

_Tommy didn’t hear him. He kept running toward Chakotay. The panel slammed down atop him, crushing him._

_“NO!”_

Chakotay sat up in bed, breathing hard. His eyes darted frantically around the dark room until he realized he was in his bed and that it had been a nightmare. He sucked in a deep shaky breath. “Computer,” he said softly, “lights. Twenty percent illumination.”

With the room dimly lit, he rolled over to the side of his bed where Tommy’s bed resided next to it. He lay there staring at the sleeping boy while waiting for his thundering heart to die down to a normal beat.

The adrenaline rush brought on by the nightmare fears left him fully awake. With a sigh of resignation, Chakotay realized there would be no more sleep for him that night. He climbed out of bed and went to the dresser in his closet, pulling out his medicine bundle. It had been too long since he had attempted to contact his animal guide. Bundle in hand, he knelt by Tommy’s bed, reaching out to softly brush his fingers over Tommy’s forehead and through his hair. Words, softly spoken, tumbled from his lips. “Father, if you can hear me among these unnamed stars, I ask you to continue to watch over me as you’ve always done. I ask you also to watch over a boy called Tommy and the man known as Thomas Eugene Paris, who has a difficult path to travel.” He rose to his feet and called the lights down as he exited his sleeping quarters.

Out in the main room, he called up the lights just enough to allow him to see his way around the room. Sitting on the floor, he opened the bundle and set its contents out, reverently touching each one. When everything was in place, he cleared his mind. Hand resting on the _akoonah_ , he softly recited the words of his people. “ _A-koo-chee-moya_. I am far from the sacred places of my grandfathers; I am far from the bones of my people. I come here seeking guidance.”


	18. Tommy Time

##  **CHAPTER 18**

##  **Tommy Time**

Chakotay, Tommy’s small hand in his, entered his office. He had never brought Tommy here, preferring to keep his professional life separate from the personal, even if caring for Tommy actually fell under professional in a manner of speaking. Yesterday had proven to him how wrong that was, however. He would have panicked on the Bridge when Neelix told him he had lost Tommy if not for Kathryn Janeway’s calming presence.

During his meditation last night he had discovered that Tommy had become the number one priority in his life. He ranked above all else. Above being Janeway’s first officer. Above _Voyager_. Even above his own personal concerns. Tommy came first. He now understood his father’s complaints when he had told Chakotay that he was giving him gray hairs early. Chakotay was certain that yesterday had scared a good twenty years off his life. He couldn’t remember the last time his heart had pounded that fast or furious.

The meditation had helped to center him and put perspective on his relationship to Tommy. His relationship to Tom Paris was another matter. That one still had too many unanswered questions that even his animal guide had been unwilling to tackle. His guide had been insistent on one point, however. Chakotay needed to keep a clear mind where Tom Paris was concerned. He needed to stop letting past issues cloud his vision of the other man. If he could do that, all would become clear in time and he would achieve a better understanding of the person that was Tom Paris, assuming they got the adult Tom back.

Chakotay had found himself unwilling to let Tommy out of his sight this morning. The fear of yesterday was still too real, too fresh. So, he’d brought him with him to his office, hoping by the time his late morning meeting with the Captain rolled around he could find it within himself to leave Tommy with one of the usual crowd of sitters.

“It’s ugly!”

Tommy’s disappointed voice brought Chakotay’s attention back to their surroundings. He looked down at the youngster to see him gazing around the office, his nose wrinkled in distaste. Chakotay looked around the office. He saw a tidy, efficient office.

“Ugly?” he repeated placidly. “What’s wrong with it?”

Tommy pulled his hand out of Chakotay’s and walked around the room, surveying it. Chakotay noticed he paid close attention to the walls and the desk. Finally, Tommy elaborated. “It’s boring. You need pictures. My daddy keeps a picture of us on his desk.” Tommy paused as if a thought had just occurred to him. He gave Chakotay a curious look. “Do you have kids?”

Chakotay shook his head, surprised the inquisitive little boy hadn’t asked this before now. “No. I don’t.”

“You need pictures,” Tommy told him.

Chakotay walked over to the credenza behind his desk and pointed at the picture pinned on the wall behind it. It was one that Tommy had colored for him several days ago. “I do have a picture. See?”

“But you need _more_ pictures,” Tommy informed him, his expression plainly saying that Koty was a little slow but he would be patient and explain it to him.

Nodding, Chakotay strolled around his office, as if giving the matter serious consideration. When he turned back to Tommy, he said, “I think you’re right. What would you suggest?”

“I can draw you some,” offered Tommy, holding up the coloring pads he had brought with him.

Chakotay was quick to agree. It would keep Tommy occupied while he got caught up after unexpectedly having the afternoon off yesterday. Once he got Tommy, Fred, and the coloring supplies situated on the couch, Chakotay sat down at his desk to work. He called up his messages and quickly scrolled through them, sorting out the more urgent ones from the routine. That done, he swiveled around in his seat to check on Tommy and was startled to find him standing right behind him, watching what he was doing.

“Whatcha doin’?”

Sorting through the stack of datapadds scattered atop his desk, Chakotay said, “I thought you were coloring me some pictures.”

“I’m gonna.” Tommy gave him a cheeky grin that reminded Chakotay of Tom Paris and the smirk he sometimes gave the Captain on the Bridge when he turned from the helm to talk to her.

“You remember how I told you I had to come to my office this morning to do work for the Captain?”

“Uh huh. You told me I’d hafta be quiet.”

“That’s right.”

“That means no questions?”

“Yes. You think you and Fred can keep yourselves occupied until I’m done?”

“Uh huh.”

“Good boy.” Chakotay smiled. “We’ll take a look at the pictures you’re going to color for me when I’m done, okay?”

“’Kay.”

Chakotay watched Tommy go around the desk and over to the couch. Once he was assured that Tommy was once more safely ensconced on the couch, he turned his attention back to his desk terminal and ship’s business.

* * *

“Koty?”

Chakotay glanced at the desk chronometer. Twenty minutes. Amazing tolerance for Tommy. He’d known it would be a mistake to bring Tommy to his office and expect to get much work done, but he just hadn’t been able to bring himself to drop Tommy with one of his sitters this morning. If he was honest with himself, he missed the little guy when he wasn’t around.

“Tommy, I know this isn’t your idea of fun but you’ll have to bear with me for a while longer,” replied Chakotay, without looking up. He heard Tommy get off the couch but still didn’t raise his eyes from the desk terminal.

Chakotay could hear Tommy’s light tread approaching and then the little boy was leaning against his thigh and waving a piece of paper in his face. Chakotay had no choice but to look.

“Tommy, I don’t have time for this.”

“But it’s for you. I colored it for you, Koty.”

Nothing could get give rise to feelings of guilt in Chakotay quite so quickly as that hurt tone that Tommy employed from time to time. Sighing, he leaned back in his chair and took the paper, looking at the colored drawing of stars and planets.

“Can we hang it up in your office?” asked Tommy.

Chakotay looked at Tommy. “I’ll tell you what. If I agree to help you look for a place to hang your picture right now, then you have to agree to not bother me for the next hour, all right?” Chakotay would have asked for more, but he knew even an hour was pushing it when asking for silence from Tommy. He was also more than aware that he most likely wouldn’t get a full hour reprieve.

“Okay,” agreed Tommy, eyes gleaming as Chakotay rose from his chair, Tommy artwork in hand.

Chakotay walked over to the couch and held the picture to the wall behind it. “Here?” he asked.

Tommy considered it then shook his head.

Chakotay moved on to the wall beside the doorway. “Here?”

Tommy shook his head.

Chakotay moved to the other side of the doorway. “How about here?”

Once again, Tommy shook his head.

Chakotay moved back toward his desk. He stopped at the wall to the far left of his desk, started to hold the picture up but Tommy was already shaking his head. Chakotay almost burst out laughing when he realized how this little scene might look should Captain Janeway choose to pay a visit to his office at that moment.

Still smiling, he moved over to the wall behind his desk terminal, where he tended to spend a lot of time when at his desk. He held the colored picture to the wall above the terminal.

“There!” agreed Tommy happily.

Chakotay obliged him by affixing the colored starscape to the wall. Turning back to face Tommy, he said, “All right, cadet, remember our deal? You let me work in peace for an hour.”

“Marvy!”

“Marvy?” Chakotay repeated in bewilderment.

“That’s what the guy kept saying in the holovid Harry showed me. He said it ever’time something neat happened,” Tommy explained. “It was a vid from a long time ago. Harry said they used to say marvy all the time back then.”

Shaking his head, Chakotay mouthed under his breath, “Marvy.” Louder, he said, “All right. Quiet time starts now.” He gave Tommy a stern look. “One hour.” Hearing no protests, he turned back to his terminal to work, his eyes occasionally traveling to the colored starscape pinned to the wall above it.

* * *

“Has it been an hour yet?”

Chakotay’s eyes moved to the chronometer on his desk. Twenty-one minutes and thirty-two seconds into the hour. He buried the grin threatening to emerge and, without looking up, threw a frown in Tommy’s direction. “Not yet.”

“Oh.”

Chakotay waited but no further comments from Tommy were forthcoming. He focused his attention back on the padd that held Harry’s Ops status report.

* * *

With a start, Chakotay blinked and pulled back from the intense concentration that had him buried in the midst of a confusing explanation in B’Elanna’s Engineering report. He was just realizing that he had been hearing Tommy’s voice for a couple of minutes now but hadn’t really been registering it. He paused to listen without being obvious about it.

“No, Fred. We can’t bother Koty. He’s busy. What color should we make his shirt?”

Chakotay grinned. Tommy was talking in what amounted to a stage whisper. Whether it was intentional or not, he wasn’t sure, but he wouldn’t put it past Tommy. He returned to B’Elanna’s report, quickly scrolling through the rest of it while keeping an ear open in Tommy’s direction.

“I don’t know what Koty’s favorite color is. . . . Purple? . . . I don’t think so. There’s nuthin’ purple in his quarters. . . . Red? Don’t think so, Fred. He wears red all the time. He’s prob’ly tired of it. . . . There aren’t any colors in his office, Fred. That’s why we’re drawing pictures for him. . . . He is not boring!”

Chakotay’s smile widened at Tommy’s indignant tone. He’d heard him talking to Fred before, usually at night after Chakotay had put him to bed. He usually wasn’t this chatty though, which raised Chakotay’s suspicions that Tommy was attempting to get his attention. Shaking his head, Chakotay picked up the next datapadd and opened the file on it. Pablo Baytart’s helm report.

Frowning, he quickly scanned the report. Although he’d never admit it to Paris, Chakotay missed his helm reports. He could always tell when Tom had waited until the last minute to do his report. It was direct and to the point and surprisingly well done. However, it was the reports that Paris had taken his time on that Chakotay enjoyed. They broke the tedium of reading through several dry reports. If Paris wasn’t offering some witty observation, then he could almost always be counted on to find some interesting phrasing or expression that Chakotay had never heard before. Chakotay caught himself grinning again as he recalled Tommy’s newest word. Marvy. Some things never changed. Chuckling silently, he tuned into Tommy again. It seemed he and Fred were back on the subject of whether or not they could disturb him.

Tommy was chiding the doll. “I told you, Fred, he’s busy with commander stuff.”

Chakotay found himself caught halfway between exasperation and outright laughter at Tommy’s innocent manipulations.

“I know you hafta go, Fred. You gotta hold it. Koty’s doing ‘portant stuff.”

That was finally enough to get Chakotay to swivel around in his seat and gaze at the not-so-innocent culprits. Tommy was engrossed in coloring another picture while Fred sat next to him supervising. But if Tommy was talking ‘hafta go’ business, it was time to give him priority before an unfortunate accident occurred or he had Tommy hopping around his office attempting to hold it in. That was exactly what had happened in Sickbay several days ago when the Doctor had mistaken Tommy’s ‘hafta go!’ for an urge to leave Sickbay, which Tommy had a known dislike for, instead of an urgent need to use the facilities. Kes later told Chakotay she had arrived just in time to avert the near disaster.

Chakotay stood up, making a big show of stretching. “I don’t know about you, Tommy, but I could use a break. How about you and Fred?”

Tommy was quick to abandon the coloring. Snatching up Fred, he ran to the door, impatiently waiting for Chakotay and just barely resisting the urge to squirm around.

“Koty?”

“Yes, Tommy?”

“Can we stop by the bafroom first?”

Holding in his chuckle, Chakotay agreed it was a good idea. As he escorted his small visitor out of his office, Chakotay finally admitted to himself that he was being overprotective after yesterday’s near disaster. There was really no need to keep Tommy corralled in his office when he could be out playing assistant chef to Neelix, or junior Engineer for Carey, or helping Kes in hydroponics.

* * *

Thirty minutes later Chakotay returned alone to his office. It was much quieter now, which should have been a relief. Chakotay, however, found himself missing Tommy’s chatter.

His mind started to wander to how he would feel if they got Tom Paris back. There would be no more Tommy. He uncharacteristically shied away from thinking that through too much. Instead, he attempted to bury himself in his work, but his gaze kept returning to the new piece of Tommy art and before he knew it, he found himself shuffling through the new collection of art Tommy had left on his desk, chuckling over the colorful pictures. Then his gaze fell on Baytart’s helm report, and for one startling moment Chakotay could hear Tom Paris, clear as a bell, laughing and carrying on with Harry. All vestiges of humor wiped away, Chakotay lay the colored pictures aside and returned to finishing up his reports, the impossible situation of Tommy and Tom Paris never far from his thoughts.


	19. Picasso

##  **CHAPTER 19**

##  **Picasso**

Running late, which seemed to be his usual schedule these days since Tommy had come to stay with him, Chakotay stepped into his quarters. “Sorry I’m late, B’Elanna. I know asking you to baby-sit was last minute but it couldn’t be helped,” he apologized.

He stopped short as he absorbed the atmosphere in his quarters. B’Elanna sat on the couch frowning at Tommy. Tommy sat on the floor, scrunched back in a corner, arms defiantly folded across his chest. His return glare in B’Elanna’s direction was marred slightly by the pouty lower lip.

“Something happen?” Chakotay asked calmly.

Getting to her feet, B’Elanna motioned for Chakotay to follow her. “Come in here. I want to show you what Picasso here did.” When Tommy started to climb to his feet to follow them, B’Elanna stopped so suddenly that Chakotay barely avoided running into her. Pointing a stern finger at Tommy, B’Elanna said, “You. Sit. You’re in time-out, remember?”

Tommy opened his mouth to protest.

“You’re not allowed to speak either, mister,” snapped B’Elanna.

Chakotay carefully kept his face devoid of expression. Somewhere hidden inside him was a recalcitrant Chakotay who was rolling on the floor with laughter at the picture these two presented. He’d seen Tom Paris and B’Elanna Torres square off before. This scene was eerily reminiscent of those times.

With a great show of reluctance, Tommy reseated himself in the corner, staring daggers at B’Elanna’s back as she and Chakotay entered the sleeping quarters.

“You do that very well,” Chakotay commended her on her control over Tommy. “What’s a time-out?”

“Something Harry told me his parents used to do to him when he misbehaved.”

“And what did Tommy do to–” Chakotay’s voice stopped abruptly when he got a good look at the new mural on his bedroom wall. From one end of the wall on the far side of his bed to the other end, colorful drawings, squiggles and letters were laid out in an extravagantly unorganized pattern of vivid crayon colors. Chakotay had to admit it certainly lent a different air to his sleeping quarters. His lips started to twitch.

“It isn’t funny!” B’Elanna snapped.

“No,” agreed Chakotay, getting control of the urge to laugh. “Of course it isn’t.”

“I told him you would punish him when you got home,” retorted B’Elanna.

“Did he say why he did it?”

“No.”

“Did you ask?”

B’Elanna merely glared at him, not dignifying his question with an answer. Chakotay frowned. Tommy was usually quick with the explanations, even if they sometimes only made sense to his five-year-old insight.

Seeing his frown, B’Elanna reluctantly added, “I went a little ballistic. Yelled at him then told him to go sit in the corner and not speak until you got home.”

Knowing B’Elanna’s temper, Chakotay couldn’t help voicing his concern. “You didn’t hit him, did you?”

B’Elanna’s appalled gaze itself would have been answer enough but she elaborated vocally as well. “Of course not! He’s just a child, Chakotay!”

“Sorry. I should have known better,” apologized Chakotay. “Don’t worry about it.” He waved an arm at the . . . he wasn’t sure what to call it. Art? Graffiti? Whatever it was, it now covered the wall of his bedroom. “I’ll have a talk with him. It wasn’t your fault,” he assured B’Elanna. “I know what a handful he can be to keep an eye on.”

Finally relenting somewhat, B’Elanna peered at him closely then grinned. “Yeah, I see a few more gray hairs than you used to have,” she teased.

“Very funny.”

Exiting the sleeping quarters, Chakotay looked at Tommy, who was giving him one of those angelic looks that always set off Chakotay’s internal alarms, because it was an indication that Tommy had been up to some mischief.

“We need to have a talk,” he told Tommy sternly.

Tommy stared up at Chakotay. He’d heard that tone before. It was usually the one his father used when he had been bad and it was usually followed by a lecture about how much Tommy had disappointed him.

“I’ll leave you to it,” B’Elanna said. “‘Night.”

Once the door had slid shut behind B’Elanna, Chakotay, reentering his sleeping quarters, called back over his shoulder, “Come in here, Tommy. We’re going to talk about this.”

Tommy stepped into the sleeping quarters and stood just inside the door, waiting. Chakotay stood with his back to Tommy while he contemplated the now colorful wall.

“Come over here. By me,” Chakotay instructed.

They both stood in silence for a long moment, standing side by side, one admiring the artwork, the other contemplating suitable punishments.

Unable to stand Chakotay’s silence, Tommy finally blurted, “Are you about to blow a gasket?”

“A . . . what?” Chakotay’s perturbed silence fled in the wake of Tommy’s worry.

“A gasket. Joe says that about Baloney all the time. Says she’s about to blow a gasket and to stand back.”

“Joe says that, does he?” asked Chakotay, his good humor returning. “No,” he assured Tommy, “I’m not about to blow a gasket.”

Chakotay hunkered down next to Tommy and nodded his head at the decorated wall. “Why’d you do this?” he asked softly, no threat in his voice, just simple curiosity.

“It’s boring.”

“What’s boring?”

“Your bedroom. It’s all gray walls. My bedroom at home has spaceships all over the walls. It’s not boring like yours is.”

“I see. Do your parents allow you to color on the walls of your bedroom?”

Tommy shrugged.

“I didn’t quite hear that,” Chakotay said, his voice becoming firmer.

“No,” Tommy finally admitted.

“Then what makes you think it’s all right to color on my walls?”

Another shrug. Tommy’s downcast eyes were fixed on his feet. “Dunno.”

“You know this was wrong, don’t you?”

Tommy’s shoulders drooped as he nodded.

“Then why did you do it?”

“To make Baloney mad.” Tommy’s head shot up in sudden defiance. “And ‘cause your walls _are_ boring!”

Puzzled, Chakotay asked, “Why would you want to make B’Elanna mad? I thought you liked her.”

“She’s no fun. She wouldn’t play with me. Said she had work to do. Just like you always say! You never play with me either ‘cause you’re always busy.”

“Tommy–”

“I wanna go home. Why can’t I go home?”

Chakotay paused, beginning to see there were a lot of layers here as to why Tommy had misbehaved tonight. He’s bored. He’s lonely. He misses his family. And that was just the tip of the iceberg.

Sitting on the bed, he said, “C’mere,” and gathered Tommy onto his lap. “We’ve talked about why you can’t go home yet, remember? What did I tell you?”

“That Momma and Daddy are away on a long trip.”

“And?”

“And we can’t call them ‘cause they’re out of communications range.”

“That’s right. I know you miss them, Tommy. I promise we’ll get you home as soon as we can, all right?”

“Cross your heart?”

“Cross my heart,” Chakotay solemnly vowed.

“I wanna see.” Tommy twisted around in Chakotay’s lap, watching as Chakotay performed the sacred ritual of crossing his heart. Content, Tommy snuggled in close to Chakotay’s chest. “I love you, Koty.”

Chakotay drew in a deep breath to balance himself. This wasn’t the first time Tommy had told him he loved him. But it was the first time Tommy had said it with such quiet feeling, instead of the usual exuberant spur-of-the-moment way he typically displayed it.

“I love you too,” he said softly.

They stayed together like that for several minutes until Tommy started squirming. Depositing Tommy on his feet, Chakotay stood. “You have about an hour before bedtime,” he said. “I think we’ll put it to good use with you washing down this wall to remove your handiwork.”

“Do I have to?” Tommy whined.

“Yes, you have to.” Chakotay tapped his combadge. “Commander Chakotay to Maintenance.”

_“Maintenance. Ortiz here, sir.”_

“Ensign Ortiz, what do you have for removing crayon from a bulkhead?”

There was a pause over the comlink then Ortiz’s tentative voice came back. _“Crayon, sir? Uh, I’m not sure. I don’t think that particular problem has ever come up before on_ _Voyager.”_

“What would you suggest we try then?” asked Chakotay, getting a perverse pleasure out of testing Ortiz’s ingenuity regarding the correct procedure for crayon removal.

_“If I remember my childhood, sir,”_ Ortiz shot back promptly, _“soap and water seemed to work just fine. Of course, crayons have changed a bit since then, especially the replicated ones.”_

“Thank you, Ensign. We’ll give that a try. Chakotay out.”

* * *

In Maintenance, Ricardo Ortiz stared unseeingly at the inventory list that was rolling by on his terminal screen. “Crayons,” he repeated under his breath. “At least this time it wasn’t indelible markers.” He filed a quick report on Commander Chakotay’s request and then returned to his inventorying duties.

By mid-morning the following day, word of Tommy’s latest escapade would be all over the ship.

* * *

Chakotay sat on his bed, facing the Tommy-decorated wall. By the time they had replicated a brush and pail of warm soapy water and Chakotay had shown a stubborn Tommy the proper way to clean a wall, there had only been a half hour before bedtime for Tommy to work on it.

The soapy water hadn’t worked on the crayoned wall. Apparently something in the bulkhead liked crayon and refused to let go of it. Chakotay had made Tommy keep scrubbing until bedtime anyway, even though he knew he was going to be forced to have the wall repainted to erase Tommy’s work. His eyes traveled over the wall. Brightly colored stick figures, starscapes, what he guessed was supposed to be a spacecraft of some sort. And over near the right-hand side he had boldly signed it with his childish scrawl: Tommy.

Tommy was now fast asleep in bed. His last words of the night had been an inquiry if he was still in trouble. Chakotay had told him they would discuss it in the morning.

Shaking his head, Chakotay walked around to the other side of his bed to where Tommy’s bed resided. He crouched down to check on the sleeping youngster. Pulling the kicked-off covers up around Tommy, he softly said, “Good night, Picasso.”

Sliding into his own bed, he called for lights out and soon fell into a restless sleep, disturbed by visions of Tommy crying for Momma and Daddy while Chakotay stood by, feeling helpless at his inability to comfort Tommy or to get him home.


	20. The Plan

##  **CHAPTER 20**

##  **The Plan**

“Neelix, can I have a word in private with you?”

Neelix looked up from where he was putting the finishing touches on some scrambled Olivean eggs to see Commander Chakotay standing in the doorway to the kitchen. “Of course, Commander. Let me set these eggs out for the crew before they get cold and then I’ll be right with you.”

Neelix bustled around Chakotay as he moved out of the kitchen. He deposited the eggs with the rest of the breakfast spread for _Voyager_ ’s crew then returned to the kitchen. Wiping his hands on his apron, he asked, “What can I do for you, Commander?”

“I heard you’re having problems with the recycler cleaning your breakfast dishes this morning.”

“Problems?” Neelix looked puzzled. “No, Commander, I’m not having any trouble with the recycler.”

“I think you are,” said Chakotay. “In fact, I think you need someone to wash dishes for you this morning. Isn’t that right?”

Neelix followed Chakotay’s pointed gaze. It was aimed at Tommy, who was sitting eating breakfast at a table with Harry and Joe Carey. Smiling, Neelix turned back to Chakotay. “What’d he do this time, Commander?”

Chakotay ran a hand over the back of his neck to ease the tight muscles there that seemed to be a result of a sleep disrupted by disturbing dreams the previous night. “He decided the walls in my sleeping quarters were boring and took some crayons to one of them.”

“I see.” Neelix made a big show of looking around his kitchen. “You’re right. I do seem to be encountering a problem with the recycler this morning.”

“Thank you, Neelix. I owe you one.”

Neelix watched as the Commander made his way over to Tommy’s table and bent down to talk to Tommy. Neelix saw Tommy’s head shake a very adamant _no_. Chakotay spoke to him again and Tommy reluctantly climbed to his feet and followed Chakotay across the mess hall back toward the kitchen.

“Neelix,” said Chakotay, “I’ve explained to Tommy that he’s assigned to KP duty this morning as punishment for what he did last night. He’s all yours.” Chakotay turned back to Tommy. “Remember what I said. You’re not here to have fun today. Do what Neelix says. I’ll be asking him if you did a good job today. If not, we’ll do this again tomorrow. Understand?”

Tommy silently stared at the floor.

“Tommy?”

“Yes, I un’erstand!”

“He’s all yours, Neelix. See you both at lunch.”

Once Chakotay was gone, Tommy’s face lost his obstinate expression and he looked up at Neelix hopefully. But his hope was dashed with Neelix’s next words.

“Don’t you use that ‘I’m innocent’ look on me,” warned Neelix good-naturedly. “You’re not squirming out of this one. Let’s get started on the dishes. Lunchtime will be here before you know it. And while we’re at it, you can tell me exactly what it was you did that has Commander Chakotay assigning you KP duty.”

* * *

Janeway waited until Chakotay was comfortable on the couch in her ready room before she spoke. She waited because she knew what she was about to say would cause him no small amount of fear and stress.

“We think we may have found a way to bring Tom back, Chakotay.”

Chakotay stiffened, then turned on the couch so he could gaze out the viewport, thus avoiding her knowing gaze. “I assume it’s safe or you wouldn’t be contemplating it,” he finally said, still faced away from her.

“Harry and B’Elanna are making sure there are appropriate safeguards in place so that in the event something goes wrong, we can bring Tommy back safely.” Janeway put as much reassurance as she could muster in her expression when Chakotay turned to look at her.

“Tell me,” he said quietly.

And she did.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, a somber Janeway and Chakotay joined B’Elanna, Harry, Tuvok, Neelix, and Kes in the main briefing room. The EMH joined them via comlink. Janeway had called together all those involved in the research to bring Tom Paris back to them as well as those crewmembers who were heavily involved in Tommy’s daily life.

“We believe we’ve found a way to reverse the Quizah process and bring Tom back to us,” Janeway told them. Unable to sit still, she was pacing around the table her crew was seated at. Stopping behind Harry and B’Elanna, she continued.

“In simple terms, Harry and B’Elanna have found a way to use Tom’s last transporter record—his adult record. We’ll put Tommy through the transporter and bring him back as Tom, once again whole and adult. Of course, it’s not as simple as it sounds but I’ve reviewed Harry and B’Elanna’s research, as has the Doctor, and we all concur, that with the proper safeguards in place, we should attempt this.”

“What if it doesn’t work?” asked Neelix. “Or something goes wrong during the transport?”

“That’s what the safeguards are for,” Janeway reassured them all. “If anything goes wrong at any point of the process, we’ll be able to abort and bring Tommy back.”

“Tommy will have to be told something,” Kes observed softly. “He’s an intelligent little boy.”

Chakotay spoke up for the first time. His voice was calm but his posture was showing signs of stress. “I’ll handle that.” He glanced at Janeway. She and Chakotay had already discussed what story to spin for Tommy to make this less frightening for the little boy. “Tommy will think his parents have arrived to take him home and that he’s beaming over to their ship.”

There was an apprehensive silence as they all tried to digest what they were about to embark on. This time tomorrow they might have Tom Paris back. It was suddenly very clear to all of them that they had missed him. Had missed his sense of humor, his wit, his daily presence on the Bridge, and seeing him around the ship during his off-duty hours. In the same breath they were all very much aware of how much Tommy had managed to wriggle into all their lives. He would be missed as well.

Janeway met each of their gazes one by one. Kes, accepting and ready to help. Neelix, showing many of the same emotions as Kes, along with some underlying sadness. B’Elanna and Harry, both looking determined. Tuvok, her steady rock of assurance. The Doctor actually looked a bit unsure, an unusual emotion for the typically arrogant Doctor. And Chakotay. For one moment the former Maquis captain’s heart was in his eyes along with a fierce protectiveness and then it was cloaked. She tried to send her own assurance to each of them that this would work out for the best. And then she became the efficient starship captain once again and they got down to working out the details of Tommy’s transport.

* * *

Wrung out from the staff meeting concerning the transport they were going to attempt with Tommy the next day, Chakotay was totally unprepared for the sight that greeted him when he walked into the mess hall. He stopped dead in his tracks, belatedly closing his mouth with a snap when he realized it was hanging open in astonishment.

There was a miniature Neelix standing on a chair behind the buffet counter serving lunch to _Voyager_ ’s crew. Chakotay blinked, to clear away the impossible image, and the miniature Neelix turned into Tommy, dressed in small-scale replica of one of Neelix’s outlandish aprons and chef’s hats.

Moving out of the doorway, Chakotay unobtrusively watched Tommy interact with the crew with an unmasked ease that Tom Paris had not been able to achieve. Tommy brought smiles to many of their faces, unconsciously easing work-related stresses that a morning had wrought. Chakotay found himself relaxing and then chuckling when the Delaney sisters made a big to-do over Tommy’s new outfit. The little boy preened proudly.

“Even at five years of age, he’s got charm,” commented a rueful voice from his side. Chakotay looked around at B’Elanna, who was gazing in amusement at Tommy.

“That he does,” agreed Chakotay, an affectionate smile lighting his face.

“Chakotay . . .” B’Elanna hesitated and Chakotay gave her his full attention. “Are you okay with this transport tomorrow?”

“No.” Chakotay held up a hand to forestall her. “But I trust you, B’Elanna. I know you wouldn’t have brought the idea to the Captain if there were any chance at all that Tommy could come to harm.”

B’Elanna still didn’t look convinced. “Do you need some help trying to explain things to Tommy tonight?”

Chakotay appreciated her offer, especially knowing that a sensitive discussion of this sort was not her forte. “This is something I need to do on my own, B’Elanna. For Tommy.”

“Okay. You know where to find me if you want to talk.”

Nodding his thanks, Chakotay moved toward the buffet line, only to be forestalled by Neelix.

“Commander!”

“Neelix.” Chakotay tried to look stern but he was having a difficult time. “I thought we agreed Tommy was doing chores today, not playing, as part of his punishment.”

Neelix had the grace to look sheepish. Chakotay relented and with another amused glance to where Tommy was holding court, he said, “Hard to not give in to him, isn’t it?”

“He did do an excellent job with the breakfast dishes, Commander,” Neelix reassured him. “And after the staff meeting, I just didn’t have the heart to keep him cooped up in the kitchen all day.”

Chakotay was certain Tommy must have coaxed Neelix how to look forlorn because the Talaxian was doing a fine job of it. “It’s okay, Neelix. It’d be nice if he could have good memories of his last day on _Voyager_.”

Beaming in agreement, Neelix scooted behind the buffet counter to replenish Tommy’s supplies as the youngster continued dishing up lunch for _Voyager_ ’s crew. By the time Chakotay reached Tommy, the day of KP duty had been forgotten. The little boy greeted Koty joyously and, for a short time, Chakotay was able to forget what lay ahead of them the next day.


	21. Love You This Much

##  **CHAPTER 21**

##  **Love You This Much**

Chakotay knew he wasn’t doing a good job at hiding his worry. Tommy had already picked up on the fact that something was wrong tonight. He’d quizzed Chakotay, asking if he was sick, if he had an upset tummy, if he needed a nap, and finally had settled for grabbing the new book Chakotay had brought home with him tonight and pulling himself up on the couch to cuddle next to Koty. Smiling, Chakotay had taken the book, unable to help thinking that this would most likely be their last bedtime story. Tomorrow they would try the transporter experiment that, along with some modifications and medications provided by the Doctor, would hopefully return the adult Tom Paris to them in mind as well as body.

Chakotay set the book aside for a moment, deciding now was as good a time as any to try to explain what would happen tomorrow. Captain Janeway, Neelix, and Kes had helped him determine the best way to explain this to Tommy but Chakotay had insisted when it came time to tell the youngster that he would do it himself. Now was the time.

“Tommy, I have something to tell you.”

Tommy, picking up on the serious tone in Chakotay’s voice, asked, “Is it somethin’ good or somethin’ bad?”

“Something good. At least, I think you’ll think so.” Chakotay paused, staring at the blond head cocooned under his arm. “You’re going home tomorrow.”

Tommy pulled away from the shelter of Chakotay’s arm to stare up at him. “Home to Momma and Daddy and Lissy and Tina?”

“Don’t forget Theo,” reminded Chakotay with a smile.

A broad smile spread across Tommy’s face but then the smile dimmed. “Is that why you’re so sad?”

“I guess so,” Chakotay admitted softly. “I’m going to miss you.”

“I can come visit!” enthused Tommy. Then, his voice turned uncertain. “Can’t I?”

“Of course you can,” agreed Chakotay. He quickly moved on to the next part of the plan, not wanting to dwell on this for too long, fearful Tommy would ask a question he didn’t have an answer for. “Have you ever used a transporter before?”

“Couple of times,” responded Tommy. “It felt funny. Like there was bugs crawling on my skin. But it didn’t scare me,” he was quick to point out.

Chakotay smiled at the bravado. “We’re going to use the transporter tomorrow to send you home. The ship your Mommy and Daddy are on will be rendezvousing with us and we’ll beam you over to their ship so they can take you home,” he said, choosing his words carefully. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay with using the transporter.”

“I’m a big boy!” Tommy told him, then he hugged Chakotay, his tight hold telling Chakotay how much Tommy was going to miss him. “Am I really gonna see Momma and Daddy tomorrow?” Tommy’s voice was full of anticipation and excitement.

Forcing a smile, Chakotay said, “Yes, you are. You’ll be back with your family tomorrow, Tommy,” he said quietly, hoping it was true that Tom Paris would be back with his _Voyager_ family.

Silence descended upon them. Chakotay stroked Tommy’s hair soothingly. “How about we read this book?” he finally asked, attempting to interject some cheer into his voice. He held the book up so Tommy could see it. It was one he had found after searching the databases for just the right story. Chakotay wanted this last story to convey what this time with Tommy had meant to him and, if by some slim chance, Tom Paris retained any Tommy-on- _Voyager_ memories, Chakotay wanted them to be good memories. He gathered Tommy into his lap and turned to the first page of the book.

_Little Nutbrown Hare, who was going to bed, held on tight to Big Nutbrown Hare’s very long ears. He wanted to be sure that Big Nutbrown Hare was listening. “Guess how much I love you,” he said._

_“Oh, I don’t think I could guess that,” said Big Nutbrown Hare._

_“This much,” said Little Nutbrown Hare, stretching out his arms as wide as they could go._

_Big Nutbrown Hare had even longer arms. “But I love **you** this much,” he said._

_Hmm, that is a lot, though Little Nutbrown Hare. “I love you as high as I can reach,” said Little Nutbrown Hare._

_“I love you as high as **I** can reach,” said Big Nutbrown Hare. _

_That is very high, thought Little Nutbrown Hare. I wish I had arms like that. Then Little Nutbrown Hare had a good idea. He tumbled upside down and reached up the tree trunk with his feet. “I love you all the way up to my toes!” he said._

_“And **I** love you all the way up to your toes,” said Big Nutbrown Hare, swinging him up over his head. _

_“I love you as high as I can hop!” laughed Little Nutbrown Hare, bouncing up and down._

_“But I love you as high as **I** can hop,” smiled Big Nutbrown Hare—and he hopped so high that his ears touched the branches above. _

_That’s good hopping, thought Little Nutbrown Hare. I wish I could hop like that. “I love you all the way down the lane as far as the river,” cried Little Nutbrown Hare._

_“I love you across the river and over the hills,” said Big Nutbrown Hare._

_That’s very far, thought Little Nutbrown Hare. He was almost too sleepy to think anymore. Then he looked beyond the thornbushes, out into the big dark night. Nothing could be farther than the sky. “I love you right up to the moon,” he said, and closed his eyes._

_“Oh, that’s far,” said Big Nutbrown Hare. “That is very, very far.” Big Nutbrown Hare settled Little Nutbrown Hare into his bed of leaves. He leaned over and kissed him good night. Then he lay down close by and whispered with a smile, “I love you right up to the moon-and back.”_

Chakotay looked down at the little boy in his lap. A little boy who had been uncharacteristically silent for the past several minutes. Tommy’s hand reached out to touch the picture on the final page of the book where Big Nutbrown Hare lay near a sleeping Little Nutbrown Hare. “They’re like us,” said Tommy.

Chakotay planted a soft kiss on Tommy’s head. “You think so?”

“Uh huh.”

Chakotay was both relieved and saddened when he realized that was going to be the extent of Tommy’s commentary. Running an affectionate hand through the blond hair, he said, “Time for a little boy I know to go to bed, I think.”

“I’m not tired!” Tommy protested, a huge yawn telling the truth of the matter.

“You’ve got a big day tomorrow,” said Chakotay, setting Tommy on his feet. “Go on. Go get in bed. I’ll be there in a minute to tuck you in.”

As Tommy disappeared into the sleeping quarters, the smile slipped from Chakotay’s face. He was grateful Tommy had accepted the idea of the transport so easily. Chakotay knew he couldn’t have handled a lot of questions about it from the little boy just now. This was difficult enough as it was. He’d grown attached to Tommy, grown used to having him around. On the other hand, it would relieve a big load of guilt from his shoulders if the transport tomorrow worked and they got Tom Paris back. What came after that he wasn’t prepared to face yet.

When Chakotay finally made his way into the sleeping quarters, he thought Tommy was already sleep as he tucked the covers around him and Fred. As he knelt there, staring at the sleeping boy, Tommy’s eyes opened to peer sleepily up at him. Rolling over on his back, Tommy held his arms out wide and said, “Love you this much, Koty.”

Smiling with sad gentleness, Chakotay held his much longer arms out wide. “And I love you this much, Tommy.” He leaned down to kiss him gently on the forehead. Smile on his lips, Tommy rolled back over to his side, curling up with Fred as his eyes drifted shut and sleep overtook him.

Chakotay turned the lights down and then sat on his bed to watch Tommy sleep, knowing he’d get very little sleep himself this night as the dread and anticipation of the transport tomorrow loomed closer and closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Guess How Much I Love You?_ : Taken from _Guess How Much I Love You?_ by Sam McBratney and Anita Jeram.


	22. Growed

##  **CHAPTER 22**

##  **Growed**

Chakotay couldn’t believe the suddenness with which he found himself in the Transporter Room the next morning. It was doubly hard on all present when Tommy insisted on visits to different parts of the ship to say goodbye to those who wouldn’t be present at the time of transport.

Chakotay shook his head at the remembrance of their trip through the ship for the final goodbyes. He hadn’t realized Tommy had made so many friends. Joe Carey had looked as if he were going to break out in tears but had held up admirably. Samantha Wildman had cried, so had Naomi for that manner but in her case it had turned out to be a wet diaper causing the tears. The Delaney sisters had made over Tommy big time when he had shown up to say goodbye and Tommy had willingly lapped up the attention. Ensigns Lakal and Beeman had recovered from the embarrassment of Tommy having skipped along the corridors of _Voyager_ loudly proclaiming “Bobbi and Nicholas sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” and had even managed to go on a first date. Tommy had even insisted on going to see the Doctor. The Doctor had been his usual gruff self but Chakotay had detected a hint of affection beneath the grumpy veneer.

And now he, Captain Janeway, Harry Kim, Tuvok, B’Elanna, Kes and Neelix all gathered in the Transporter Room to oversee the transport. Harry and B’Elanna would be supervising the transport itself while Kes would monitor the medical situation. The Doctor was also present via comlink.

After making the goodbye rounds once more, Tommy approached Chakotay and held Fred out to him.

Kneeling, Chakotay asked, “What’s this?”

“Fred belongs to you,” Tommy said.

Smiling, Chakotay told him, “Tommy, Fred wasn’t a loan. I _gave_ him to you . . . unless you think Theo might get jealous?”

Tommy’s eyes lit up. “I can keep Fred?”

It was as Chakotay had expected. Tommy really hadn’t wanted to give Fred up at all. He had only been attempting to do the right thing. “Fred belongs with you, Tommy.” Then he had an armful of little boy as Tommy threw his arms around Chakotay.

“I’ll miss you, Koty!”

Rising to his feet, Tommy in his arms, Chakotay tried to think of something wise and reassuring to say. It wouldn’t do to get all choked up now. That would only upset Tommy. “I’ll miss you too.” Reaching the transporter platform, he set Tommy upon it.

As he stepped back, Tommy asked, “What about all my stuff?”

“Your stuff?”

“You know, _stuff_.”

“Oh, _stuff_.” Chakotay smiled. “I’ll pack all your toys and things up and send them on to you at home, okay?” He gave Tommy’s hair one final fond tousle, then stepped all the way off the platform. “Ready for transport, cadet?”

Tommy straightened. “Yes, sir, Commander.”

Chakotay turned to look at the others. B’Elanna and Harry signaled their readiness. Janeway nodded. Turning back to Tommy, he said, “We’ll talk soon. I promise.” Keeping his gaze on Tommy, he spoke over his shoulder. “Energize.”

They all watched as the transporter beam took Tommy. Tommy waved at them as he disappeared in a sparkle of light. Moments later another transporter beam activated and the beam-in commenced. The only sounds in the transporter room were the transporter itself and Harry and B’Elanna’s occasional murmurs to each other as they made adjustments to the transporter settings. Finally the beam-in began to take on the shape of a person. Soon, he was recognizable as Tom Paris—in adult form and once more in the familiar red and black uniform of Starfleet. Chakotay had to smile. Fred was still firmly clasped in Tom’s grasp. That was liable to raise a few questions from Lieutenant Paris. His smile faltered. The Doctor had been unable to predict how much, if any, memory Tom would retain of the past month. Chakotay wasn’t sure which way he wished for it to be.

“Transport complete,” B’Elanna announced.

They all stared at Lieutenant Tom Paris, standing on the transporter platform, Fred clutched in a tight hold.

“Koty? When am I going home?” asked Tom Paris, sounding more like Tommy than Tom, but with the deeper voice of adult Tom.

Eyes all over the room widened in alarm. Even Tuvok showed a moment of momentary dismay. Janeway slowly stepped forward to stand next to Chakotay. “Tom?”

Tommy, hearing the change in his voice to a deeper more adult one, took an alarmed step in Chakotay’s direction, stumbling over unfamiliar long legs. He fell to his knees. Looking down, his eyes took in the unfamiliar long body. Scared, he scooted backwards until he came up against the wall. He huddled there, Fred clutched to him like a shield, small whimpers of fear erupting from him.

Chakotay stood rooted where he was. It was still Tommy. They had Tom Paris’ body back but mentally he was still Tommy. How could he possibly explain this to Tommy? His distraught gaze went to Kathryn Janeway. Giving his arm a comforting squeeze, she softly said, “Even at five years old, he’s a Starfleet brat. Just give him a version as near the truth as you can keep it without alarming him. I’m sure he’s already heard stories about the strange quirks in Starfleet equipment from time to time.”

As Chakotay moved forward, he could hear B’Elanna and Harry quietly talking together in the background. Then Janeway, Kes and the Doctor’s voice were added to the background noise. Chakotay shut it out and focused his attention fully on Tommy. Kneeling next to him, Chakotay reached out to place a hand on the now adult-sized shoulder, but Tommy cringed away from him in fright.

“Tommy.”

No reaction.

Chakotay tried again. “Tommy.”

Finally, a small, terror-filled voice spoke. “Koty?”

“It’s me, Tommy.”

Tommy thrust himself into Chakotay’s welcome embrace. “Wha’s happened to me?” he managed before his voice was choked by uncontrollable sobs.

The remainder of the occupants in the transporter room stared for a moment at the strange sight of Tom Paris crying uncontrollably in Chakotay’s arms. Of course, once it kicked in that it was Tommy, and he was terrified, they were all galvanized into action. Kes took medical readings of Tommy and relayed them to the Doctor via comlink. Janeway, Tuvok, B’Elanna, and Harry crowded around the transporter console, checking and rechecking the transporter settings. Neelix hovered worriedly, wishing there was something more he could do.

* * *

Chakotay held Tommy, murmuring soothing words and rubbing his back, which usually worked to calm him down after a nightmare. Gradually, Tommy’s sobs began to die down but his body was shaking like a leaf. Between the remnants of hiccupping sobs, Tommy asked, “Why, Koty? Why? Was I bad?”

Chakotay was having a hard time reconciling the adult Tom’s voice with Tommy, but the inflections in the voice were definitely Tommy’s. “No, Tommy. You weren’t bad. Nothing you did caused this. There was a glitch in the transporter. It put you in a different body. A grown-up body.” He didn’t think Tommy was ready to hear it was actually _his_ adult body.

There was a long silence filled with Tommy’s sniffles until Tommy finally ventured, “You mean it growed me?”

“Growed you? I guess that’s one way to put it.”

“It didn’t grow Fred,” whispered Tommy, trying to make sense of it all.

Chakotay’s gaze roamed the transporter room, looking for something that would provide him with an answer for Tommy. Something that would make sense to a five-year-old. His eyes fell on Tuvok and he remembered the monster spell the Vulcan had chanted around his bed and Tommy’s easy acceptance of that cure-all. Softly, almost of their own volition, the words slipped from Chakotay’s lips. “It’s magic, Tommy.”

“Magic?”

“Magic,” whispered Chakotay, the words of an ancient poem coming to him. A poem he had heard over and over during his own childhood. Rocking Tommy as he tried to calm him, he softly began reciting the poem.

_Come with me to the magic tree,_

_where dreams of journeys are for free._

_The unicorns still play about,_

_and the dinosaurs will never die out._

_Up Up Up in the magic tree,_

_there’s dreams enough for you and me._

_A prince and a princess can fall in love,_

_and the grumpy giant hides out above._

_We can travel to a wonderland,_

_or step lively in a marching band._

_We can fly like kites above the crowds,_

_then take a nap on soft white clouds._

_Up Up Up in the magic tree,_

_we can travel to anywhere we want to be._

_We can visit castles and be brave knights._

_We can slay the dragon and wear armor bright._

_We can be the king of all the land,_

_or search for buried treasure in the sand._

_We can climb the highest mountain peak,_

_or into a mouse hole we can sneak._

_There’s nothing that we can’t be,_

_Up Up Up in the magic tree._

_There’s dreams enough for you and me,_

_Up Up Up in the magic tree._

* * *

Janeway, consulting with Tuvok, kept an eye on the proceedings upon the transporter platform. Chakotay sat on the platform, his back to the wall, cradling a crying Tom Paris in his arms and speaking softly to him. It was an odd sight, seeing the adult Tom Paris in Chakotay’s arms. But it was still Tommy. Despite appearances, the adult body on the transporter platform housed a five-year-old frightened child. She noted that Chakotay seemed to be getting through to him though and calming him down. Satisfied that things with Tommy were under control, she turned her attention back to Tuvok, instructing him to see that the corridors between the transporter room and Sickbay were cleared. They didn’t dare try to transport Tommy to Sickbay after what had just happened. Tuvok quietly exited the Transporter Room, Kes leaving with him to consult with the Doctor before Tommy arrived in Sickbay.

* * *

By the time he had finished reciting the poem, Chakotay thought Tommy seemed much calmer. “You ever dream of being bigger, Tommy?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes I wish I was taller.”

“You’re taller than me now. There are all sorts of neat things about being bigger. You won’t have to ask me to reach for things for you. You can see over the counter in Neelix’s kitchen. You can reach all the controls on a shuttle’s flight panel.”

Tommy sat up at that and looked at Chakotay. “Really? Neat.”

Chakotay reached out with a thumb and wiped the remnants of Tommy’s tears from Tom Paris’ face. “There’s nothing to be scared about. I’m still here. Captain Janeway is still here. So are the others.”

Tommy looked out at the roomful of people who was gazing back at him, their concern not very well hidden, even from a five-year-old’s eyes. “They don’t look very happy,” Tommy whispered to Chakotay.

“I guess they’re worried about you,” Chakotay told him. “They don’t like to see you upset.”

“What about Momma and Daddy? Won’t they worry about me when I don’t show up?” Then another thought occurred to him. “What if they don’t want me back like this?” His lower lip began quivering again.

Janeway stepped forward and knelt next to Chakotay and Tommy. “The ship your parents were on that was to rendezvous with us was called away on an emergency, Tommy. But I sent them a subspace message. They understand what happened, and they’re looking forward to getting you back home. They miss you. They’ll rendezvous with us again in a few days to pick you up, okay? But that means you get to spend more time with Koty.”

The last sentence seemed to do the trick. Tommy had been looking decidedly upset until she pointed out that he wouldn’t have to leave Koty so soon after all. “Okay.” He looked at Chakotay. “Can we go home now? I wanna color.”

Chakotay paused to take a breath at the rapid change of Tommy’s mood and his innocent acceptance of everything they told him. He wondered how old Tom Paris had been when that innocence had been ripped away and replaced with the sometimes harsh realities of life. Exchanging an unspoken message with Janeway, Chakotay said, “We’ll have to make a stop by Sickbay first. Have the Doctor check you and make sure your sudden growth spurt is going all right.”

“You think I’ll grow more?” asked Tommy, sounding unsure if he liked the idea or not. As the three of them climbed to their feet, Tommy gazed down at Captain Janeway in surprise. “You’re short!” he blurted.

Janeway laughed. “Yes, I am compared to you, aren’t I?”

“Maybe the transporter can grow you too,” Tommy offered.

“I’ll give it some consideration,” allowed Janeway, a smile on her face. “If you two gentlemen don’t mind, I think I’ll accompany you to Sickbay.”

“The crew, Captain,” warned Chakotay.

“Already taken care, Commander. Tuvok left some minutes ago to handle that.”

Chakotay looked around the transporter room. He hadn’t even noticed when Tuvok left. He caught Harry and B’Elanna staring at them. Seeing his frown, they quickly turned their attention back to the transporter console, murmuring quietly to each other about the readings there. Neelix waited at the door.

“Hi, Tommy,” he greeted with a big smile.

“Look at me, Neelix! I’m big!” Tommy was starting to sound excited about the idea now, seeming to have adjusted to circumstances with the ease of youth.

“I see that.” Neelix made a show of looking him up and down. “We’ll have to get you a new assistant chef’s hat and apron.” Turning his attention to the Captain for a moment, Neelix said, “Captain, Kes went ahead to Sickbay to alert the Doctor.”

“Thank you, Neelix.”

As the group made their way out the door, Harry and B’Elanna could hear Tommy asking, “Now that I’m growed up can I get a tattoo?”

The two of them paused in their analysis of the transport to stare after the group.

“Definitely Tommy,” Harry finally said.

B’Elanna nodded. Expression grim, she turned back to the transporter console. “We’ve got to find out what went wrong, Harry.”

They went back to work, both unable to get the image out of their minds of the adult body of Tom Paris that obviously was still housing the mind of Tommy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _The Magic Tree_ : Taken from _The Magic Tree_ by Sherry Shultz.


	23. Reflections

##  **CHAPTER 23**

##  **Reflections**

Chakotay stepped through the open door to Tom Paris’ quarters. He had spent most of the afternoon in Sickbay with an impatient and adult-bodied “don’t-wanna-sit-still!” Tommy and a testy Doctor who grew testier by the minute with Tommy’s constant barrage of questions. The Doctor had run every conceivable test on Tommy he could think of to get to the root of the problem but had met with little success. Chakotay, burying his own worry, had attempted to keep Tommy distracted while the medical testing proceeded.

Once Chakotay had been reassured by the Doctor that Tommy was fine, as was Tom Paris’ body, and seeing that Tommy was in good hands with Kes, he had excused himself to retrieve some clothing from Paris’ quarters. It seemed simpler than trying to replicate any. Although, from Tommy’s reaction to the Starfleet uniform he had rematerialized in, Chakotay suspected he would have a hard time getting him out of it.

He called up the lights and looked around curiously. He’d never been in the Lieutenant’s quarters. Chakotay wondered if they were always this neat or if someone had been in here straightening up in anticipation of the adult Tom Paris’ return. Other than a couple of plants, which he suspected had been given to Paris by Kes, there wasn’t much in the quarters for decoration. The walls were bare. Boring gray, as Tommy had proclaimed it. The plants looked well cared for though, which answered Chakotay’s question about who might have been in here making sure everything was in order for Paris’ return.

There was a lounger toward the center of the room. It seemed to be Paris’ only obvious extravagance. A datapadd rested on the lounger. Chakotay resisted the urge to pick the padd up and see what it contained. He was curious, much more curious than he would have been before Tommy, but he refused to breach Paris’ privacy in that manner.

Another couple of padds lay on the nightstand by the bed. No pictures of family decorated the quarters that he could see. Chakotay frowned at that. He couldn’t see a personal touch that reflected Tom Paris’ personality anywhere in the quarters. Chakotay found that much more disturbing than he wanted to admit.

Entering the walk-in closet, he grabbed the first couple of casual outfits off the shelves that he came across. Pulling open the top drawer, he located underwear and socks. He checked the other drawers, just to be certain he wasn’t forgetting anything. All he could locate for pajamas were some T-shirts and shorts, so Chakotay quickly grabbed up a purple T-shirt and pair of black shorts. It would have to do. In the bottom drawer of the dresser, he found the elusive family portrait. Curiosity overcame his better judgment about breaching Paris’ privacy, and Chakotay found himself picking up the framed photo for a closer look. It had been taken a long time ago. Paris looked to be about six or seven years of age. He sat in a captain’s chair on the bridge of a Starfleet ship. Two older girls, which Chakotay assumed to be Paris’ sisters, stood to either side of the chair. Admiral Paris and a woman who could only be Mrs. Paris, stood behind the chair. Tom looked amazingly like his mother, but Chakotay could see some of his father in him too.

A wave a guilt washed over him for invading Paris’ privacy and for being unable to protect Paris from what the Quizah had done to him. Chakotay surprised himself by admitting that he no longer harbored ill feelings toward Tom Paris for past indiscretions. He further surprised himself with the admission that perhaps he had been unfair in his behavior toward Paris and resolved to make up for that should they get Tom back. The possibility that they might not get him back weighed heavily on the Commander’s shoulders. He placed the picture back in the drawer. Clothing in his arms, he quickly exited the quarters, unable to leave his guilt behind.

* * *

Chakotay entered his quarters to a very strange sight. A seemingly adult Tom Paris running around the room flying the toy spacecraft Tuvok had given Tommy. Only it was obviously Tommy, his exuberant childish expression making that very clear in an instant.

Kes joined Chakotay at the door. “He’s been like this since we got here,” she told him. “Full of excess energy. I thought it best to let him get it out of his system.”

Tommy, upon spying Chakotay, ran over to him. Grinning widely, Tommy patted Chakotay on the head. “I’m taller than you!”

Chakotay couldn’t help but return the infectious grin. “But I’m still older than you, which means I’m still the boss, and right now the boss thinks you should go get washed up for dinner.”

“Okay!” Tommy zoomed off, toy spacecraft held aloft, as he ran toward the entrance to the sleeping quarters.

“And slow down!” Chakotay called after him. Once Tommy was out of earshot, Chakotay turned to Kes. “Do many of the crew know about this yet?”

“No. It’s not an easy thing to explain.”

“I don’t want to chance someone upsetting him,” replied Chakotay. “I’ll keep him in for dinner tonight and talk to the Captain about making a shipwide announcement tomorrow.”

“Maybe we’ll have a solution to the problem by then,” offered Kes.

“Maybe.” Chakotay’s worried gaze met hers.

“As long as he has you, Commander,” she said softly, “he’ll be all right.”

“You sound very sure of that.”

“I am. You mean a lot to him. I can practically feel his heart bursting with joy whenever he talks about you. As far as Tommy is concerned, you could walk on water.”

Chakotay wasn’t entirely successful hiding his unease. “Hope I don’t disappoint him.”

“You won’t. I’d better get back to Sickbay now. The Doctor was running further tests from the scans he took of Tommy.”

“Good night, Kes.”

“Good night, Commander.”

After the door slid shut behind her, Chakotay turned and headed for the sleeping quarters. He quickly stashed Tom’s clothing and was just exiting the closet when Tommy came out of the bathroom, waving his hands.

“All clean! See?”

Chakotay took hold of the hands, man-sized now, and inspected them. “Good job,” he proclaimed. “Ready for dinner?”

“Ready!” Tommy ran out of the sleeping quarters, scooped Fred off the couch, and was waiting impatiently by the door by the time Chakotay caught up with him.

“I thought we’d stay in for dinner tonight, Tommy.”

Tommy’s face fell. “But I wanted to show everyone how I growed!”

“You can order anything you want for dinner from the replicator,” bribed Chakotay, careful to keep his voice light as the day’s events began to catch up with him. Weariness was suddenly settling on his shoulders like a heavy weight.

“Anything?”

“Within reason,” Chakotay allowed, a small smile escaping.

“Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?” Tommy tested. “And chocolate milk?”

Chakotay, figuring there were worse things Tommy could have requested, found himself agreeing with Tommy’s choice and keying it into the replicator before the youngster had a chance to change his mind. He replicated two whole sandwiches and a large glass of chocolate milk. The stress of the day having caused his appetite to evaporate, Chakotay settled for mushroom soup.

Chakotay started to tuck a napkin in at Tommy’s neckline but this time Tommy balked. “I can do it,” he said stubbornly. Chakotay watched as the long lean fingers that usually flew over _Voyager_ ’s helm so elegantly fumbled to tuck a simple napkin into the neckline of the Starfleet uniform.

“There!” Tommy finally proclaimed proudly. “See? I can do it.”

Smiling in approval, Chakotay retreated to his side of the table.

In a matter of minutes, Tommy had consumed the two sandwiches and most of the chocolate milk. “I’m still hungry,” he said.

Chakotay’s eyes widened slightly in surprise before he remembered that Tommy was feeding an adult body now. “One more sandwich?”

“I’m _really_ hungry, Koty,” confided Tommy as if telling the man something he didn’t already know.

“Two sandwiches then,” relented Chakotay. Setting two more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and another glass of chocolate milk before Tommy, Chakotay settled back to watch Tommy consume the second helping with as much relish as the first round. Tommy started to show signs that his ravenous appetite was satisfied when he slowed down on the last sandwich.

Finally finished with dinner, Tommy leaned back in his chair and made a show of rubbing his belly with his hands. “I’m full to the back teeth, Koty,” he drawled, then he let loose with a loud, satisfied burp. The noise obviously surprised him. Chakotay watched in amusement as Tommy’s eyes widened.

It took all of Chakotay’s willpower not to break out in laughter. Attempting to keep a straight face, Chakotay said, “That’s not very polite, Tommy. What do you say?”

Tommy straightened up to give him an innocent look. “That’s what Neelix always says.”

Chakotay stared into that adult face that was all childish innocence at the moment. When he trusted himself to speak without breaking out in laughter, he said, “That wasn’t what I was talking about. It’s not polite to burp like that without saying ‘excuse me’ or ‘pardon me.’”

“I couldn’t stop it, Koty. It just popped out.”

“That still doesn’t excuse bad manners. What do you say?”

“’Scuse me?”

Chakotay nodded. “You still hungry?”

“Nope.”

“Go wash your hands and face while I pick up the dinner dishes then.”

Tommy was off like a shot. Shaking his head and finally allowing himself a chuckle, Chakotay climbed to his feet and started clearing the table.

Finished cleaning up, Chakotay turned to find Tommy already stretched out on his stomach in his usual place on the floor, coloring book and crayons spread before him. Chakotay stepped over the now long legs of Tom Paris and entered the sleeping quarters. He knew Tommy should really have a bath tonight but Chakotay didn’t think he was up for that. Deciding to put it off until morning, he pulled out the T-shirt and shorts he had retrieved from Tom’s quarters for Tommy to use as pajamas and laid them on his bed. Straightening, he stared at Tommy’s bed, only now realizing that there was no way Tom Paris’ long body was going to fit comfortably into that bed. Looked like he would be spending the night on the couch while Tommy took possession of his bed.

Leaving the sleeping quarters, Chakotay planted himself on the couch, legs stretched out so that his feet rested on the low table in front of the couch. He grabbed a datapadd to review some reports but found his gaze kept drifting to Tommy, who was still busily coloring.

Leaning his head on the back of the couch, Chakotay gave up all pretense of pretending to work and let his eyes drift shut. It wasn’t long before the lack of sleep the night before caught up to him and he was sound asleep.

* * *

“Koty.”

No response from the sleeping man.

Tommy inched closer, until their faces were practically touching. “Koty!”

Chakotay’s startled eyes snapped open to stare into the grinning face of Tom Paris.

“Tom!”

Tommy giggled.

Chakotay blinked a couple of times before his clouded gaze cleared. “Tommy.”

“You fell asleep.”

“I did?” Chakotay ran a hand over his face as if to clear away the cobwebs. He’d had a strange moment upon waking and seeing Tom Paris only centimeters from him before his memory kicked in. “I did, didn’t I?” He checked the chronometer, eyes widening when he saw the time. “Time for you to get ready for bed, I think.”

Tommy waved some pieces of paper in Chakotay’s face. “I colored some pictures for you!” He plopped himself down on the couch, resting his head in Chakotay’s lap as the rest of him stretched out the length of the couch.

Chakotay recognized the delaying tactics but went along with them anyway. He held out a hand. Tommy fed him the colored pages one by one. Chakotay paused a long while over the last one. There were two groups of people in it. One group stood below what he assumed was _Voyager_ and the other stood next to a house. “Who are the people in the picture, Tommy?” he asked, suspecting he already knew the answer. Tommy swung around so he was sitting next to Chakotay. After a moment’s thought, he stretched his legs out and planted his feet next to Chakotay’s on the table. “My legs are longer than yours.” Tommy tried to snuggle in under Chakotay’s arm and found he didn’t fit as well as he used to. Frowning, he said, “I’m not sure I like being all growed, Koty.”

Chakotay squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “I know. We’ll work on that, okay? Now,” he held the crayon drawing up again, “you were going to tell me who’s in this picture?”

“It’s our family,” Tommy told him in a tone that told Chakotay he was slightly miffed that Chakotay didn’t know that already. Pointing to the group by the house, Tommy identified them one by one: “Daddy, Momma, Lissy, Tina, and Theo and me.” He moved over to the other side of the drawing to the figures below _Voyager_. “And this is you and me and Fred.”

Chakotay had to swallow a couple of times to get past the lump in his throat. Not only had Tommy drawn the two of them as family but he had drawn himself as a little boy and not in the adult body he now occupied. Chakotay was sure a counselor would have a field day with this, but all Chakotay saw was Tommy’s love for his family. “It’s a very nice picture,” he told Tommy. “We’ll have to find a special place to hang it.”

They spent a moment more admiring the picture before Chakotay said, “And I think it’s way past your bedtime. Your pajamas are on the bed. Why don’t you go put them on. I’ll be right in.”

Once Tommy, all six-foot-three of him, disappeared into the sleeping quarters, Chakotay went back to staring at the family drawing. He tried to pinpoint his exact feelings for Tommy, but it wasn’t easy to categorize them. He knew he felt very protective of Tommy, and some of that came from the commander in him who felt responsible for Lieutenant Tom Paris, who had been under his care when this had happened to him. Admit it, Chakotay, he told himself, Tommy’s gotten under your skin. Not only Tommy but Tom, as well.

Chakotay knew that if they found a way to get Tom Paris back that things would never be the same between them. He couldn’t go back to thinking of Paris as shallow and looking out for number one any longer. Even if Tom remembered nothing of this, Chakotay knew that he would and that he would do everything he could to ease the discomfort that had always been present between them. The lack of trust. He knew some of his enemies better than he knew Tom Paris. He was determined to change that.

“Koty!”

Startled out of his deep thoughts, Chakotay jumped in surprise. He looked up to see Tommy standing in the doorway to the sleeping quarters clad only in his underwear.

“Look, Koty!” Tommy ran both hands over his chest. “I have hair on my chest! It wasn’t there this morning! Did the transporter grow it too? Do you have hair on your chest? My Daddy has hair on his chest.”

Chakotay heaved a heavy mental sigh, wondering if he could get away with ignoring the sudden barrage of questions.

“I don’t ‘member seeing hair on your chest,” Tommy continued. “I got it down here too.” He pointed to the front of his underwear. “You want to see?”

“No!” Chakotay took a deep breath and proceeded more calmly. “No, Tommy. Come on, let’s get you into your pajamas. It’s way past your bedtime.”

As he escorted Tommy back into the sleeping quarters, the youngster was still chattering away. “I got hair on my legs too and under my arms. You wanna see? I’m really hairy now, Koty.”

“I can see that, Tommy.”

“And feel this, Koty. My face is rough. I think I have whiskers. Like you do in the morning. Am I gonna have to shave now?”

Chakotay sighed. “Probably, Tommy.”

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Chakotay collapsed on the couch. Tommy had reduced him to monosyllabic responses toward the end as the five-year-old kept on a steady stream of talk. Tommy had finally run out of steam and drifted off to sleep while Chakotay read a story to him.

Still half-sprawled on the couch, Chakotay wearily tapped his combadge. “Chakotay to Janeway.”

Janeway’s response was immediate. _“How is Tommy, Chakotay?”_

“Full of questions but remarkably unconcerned by it all.”

_“Well, Tom always has been quick to adjust to the new and unusual. I guess that goes back to his childhood.”_

“I guess so.”

Detecting the weariness in his voice, she asked, _“What about you, Chakotay? How are you?”_

“I’ll survive. Captain, Tommy’s not going to be willing to stay in my quarters all day tomorrow or for however long it takes to figure this out.” He didn’t say _if_ they figured it out. He was unwilling to consider that scenario.

Janeway, as usual, beat him to the punch. _“I’ll make a shipwide announcement in the morning, excluding your quarters, of course.”_

“Thank you, Captain.”

_“Get some rest, Chakotay. The experts are on the problem. Harry and B’Elanna are still pouring over the transporter logs, and Kes and the Doctor are reviewing the medical end of the situation. Your job is to take care of Tommy. He trusts you.”_

Chakotay almost laughed at the irony of it. Of all the people on the ship for Tom Paris to ultimately trust, he never would have predicted it would be him.

_“Chakotay?”_

He snapped back to the present. “Sorry, Captain. I drifted for a moment.”

_“Get some rest,”_ she advised, concern coloring her voice. _“We’ll tackle this with a fresh perspective in the morning. Janeway out.”_

Too tired to think straight, Chakotay pulled his boots off and called for lights out as he stretched out on the couch.

* * *

Chakotay jerked awake, not sure what had brought him out of a deep sleep.

“Oh God, no! Please. Pull up! Pulluppulluppullup! Damnit, pull up!”

Tommy? Listening to the nightmare ramblings from the other room as he made his way toward the sleeping quarters, it hit Chakotay that this sounded more like Tom Paris than Tommy.

“Lights,” snapped Chakotay, rushing to the bed where Tommy thrashed back and forth, caught in the horrific visions of his nightmare.

“We’re going to crash!” cried Tom.

“Tom! Tom, wake up!” Chakotay sat on the bed, attempting to shake him awake. “Tom!”

Tom shot to a sitting position, his eyes wide open in fear. “Koty?” The voice was whisper-thin and wobbly, then the eyes overflowed with tears and Tommy threw himself into Chakotay’s arms, great heaving sobs wracking his body.

“Shhh, Tommy. It’s all right. It’s all right.” Chakotay rubbed a soothing hand over Tommy’s back. Gradually, the sobs died down to quiet tears, then even the tears stopped with only an occasional one still slipping over the edge of the frightened eyes.

Once Tommy had quieted down, Chakotay retrieved a wet washcloth soaked in cool water from the bathroom and gently wiped it over Tommy’s reddened face. “Want to tell me about it?” Chakotay quietly asked, still confused over the adult-sounding voice he had heard reliving the nightmare.

“I crashed the shuttle, Koty.”

“It was just a dream, Tommy.”

“But it was real, Koty. Ever’one on the shuttle, ‘cept me, died.”

Hating himself for asking but desperately needing to verify his growing suspicions, Chakotay said, “How many people were on the shuttle with you, Tommy?”

“Three.”

“What caused the accident?”

“I think it was my fault.” Tommy’s voice was very timid.

Could it be? wondered Chakotay. What Tommy was describing sounded suspiciously like the events at Caldik Prime when, through negligence on his part, Tom Paris had been unable to prevent a shuttle crash that had killed all the occupants of the shuttle except himself. And that had sounded like Paris’ voice during the dream. What did it all mean?

“It was just a dream, Tommy,” he told the boy reassuringly.

“But it was so real,” Tommy protested, some of the vigor back in his voice now.

“I know,” Chakotay soothed. “Dreams are like that sometimes.”

“It was scary, Koty.”

Leaning back against the headboard, Chakotay stretched his legs out atop the covers. Tommy’s six-foot three-inch frame cuddled up next to him. Chakotay reached over him and rescued Fred from being buried under a pillow and placed him back in Tommy’s embrace. He talked softly to Tommy until the youngster fell back asleep.

Chakotay called the lights down and lay there in the darkness, his mind racing at warp speed through the possibilities of what it might mean if the adult Tom Paris’ memories were popping up in nightmare form in Tommy’s subconscious.


	24. The Paris Puzzle

##  **CHAPTER 24**

##  **The Paris Puzzle**

With a great deal of trepidation, Chakotay took Tommy to the mess hall for breakfast. It soon became apparent, however, that the crew were heeding the Captain’s warning that, despite appearances, they were still dealing with a five-year-old boy. Reassured, Chakotay left Tommy with Neelix while he headed for the staff meeting. Chakotay was somewhat amused to discover that, true to his word, Neelix had indeed replicated an adult-sized replica of an Assistant Chef’s hat and apron for Tommy.

Chakotay arrived slightly late for the staff meeting but nobody remarked on his tardiness. As far as they all were concerned, barring an emergency, Tommy came first and they all knew that Chakotay was late because he had been attending to Tommy.

B’Elanna reported on hers and Harry’s findings regarding the unexpected results of the transporter incident with Tommy. Unfortunately, she had nothing new to add to what the diagnostics has shown the day before. The Doctor, likewise, was equally baffled by this recent turn of events.

“There’s been a new development you should be made aware of.” Chakotay spoke so softly, it immediately brought all conversation to a stop. All eyes were on him. “Tommy had a nightmare last night. From what he described, I think he was dreaming about the shuttle crash at Caldik Prime.”

Silence greeted his statement. Even the Doctor had nothing to offer. “The strange thing was,” continued Chakotay, “before I woke Tommy up, he was talking aloud in his sleep, but I’d swear he was speaking as Tom, not Tommy.”

Surprisingly, it was Tuvok who voiced the first question. “What occurred once Tommy was awake, Commander?”

“I had a scared little boy on my hands,” retorted Chakotay more sharply than he intended. He paused to take a calming breath. Lack of sleep for the past two nights was beginning to take its toll. “Tommy remembered the dream, from Tommy’s perspective. Tom was nowhere in evidence.”

Janeway recognized that expression on her Tactical Officer’s face. “You have a theory, Tuvok?”

“Possibly, Captain.” Tuvok’s gaze returned to Chakotay. “You are certain it was the adult Tom Paris you heard speaking during the nightmare?”

“Positive,” confirmed Chakotay. “Tommy doesn’t say things like ‘damnit pull up; we’re going to crash.’” Chakotay’s flat monotone delivery of the words didn’t soften the impact. There were several winces of empathy around the table.

“Captain,” began Tuvok, “it is possible that the transport yesterday was more successful than we thought. I believe that the adult Tom Paris may be present in Tommy but is somehow being repressed. Whether this is an unforeseen side effect of the Quizah Purification or a situation of Mr. Paris’ doing, I am uncertain.”

“Of course.” The Doctor jumped into the conversation. “If Mr. Paris is present in some form, it is possible that he is confused or unwilling to face what has happened.”

Harry, his expression troubled, leaned forward. “You’re saying Tom himself may be repressing his adult memories because he’s not ready to deal with this?”

“It would make sense,” the Doctor answered. “We, of course, have no idea what the Quizah did to him, which has made the attempt to reverse the process very difficult. But this theory would certainly fit in with the fact that Tommy is obviously experiencing memories from the adult Tom Paris.”

“What sort of treatment would you recommend, Doctor?” asked Janeway.

The Doctor heaved a put-upon sigh. “As you are aware, Captain, I was not programmed to be a Counselor, but I feel that may be what Tommy and Tom Paris need at this point. It’s a very delicate situation, especially since one of the participants is a five-year-old child.”

“I may have another solution,” offered Tuvok. “I believe, if Mr. Paris is indeed present in Tommy’s mind, that I may be able to contact him through a mind-meld.”

“Is there any danger to you or Tom if you attempt a mind-meld?” asked Chakotay.

“With the Doctor monitoring us, I would be able to pull out of the meld before any damage would occur, should it be necessary,” replied Tuvok.

“How soon can we attempt this?” asked Janeway.

“I am prepared to proceed now,” stated Tuvok.

Chakotay opened his mouth to protest. He needed time to prepare Tommy for this first. The Doctor, however, beat the Commander to the protest.

“I am not,” the Doctor stated emphatically. “I want to run more tests on Tommy before we proceed with a mind-meld.”

“When would you suggest, Doctor?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Chakotay?” She turned to gaze at her first officer, asking if this met with his approval.

Chakotay nodded. “That should be fine. It’ll give me a chance to explain to Tommy what’s going to happen.” He shot a look at the Doctor, who was peering out at them via a link from Sickbay. “Tommy isn’t going to be too happy about further tests, you know.”

The Doctor snorted disdainfully. “When is he ever?” His brusque tone softening slightly, the Doctor added, “Don’t worry. I’ll have Kes here to placate him.”

“By the way, Doctor . . .” Chakotay paused.

“Yes, Commander?”

“You might want to check under Tommy’s arms while you’re giving him another examination.”

“Is there a problem?”

“He seems to have sprouted some hair in his armpit area. He’s very proud of it. I’m sure he’d like to show it to you.”

Everyone stared at Chakotay. Chakotay gazed back with an expression obviously inspired by Tom Paris. It left no doubt that some of Tom Paris had rubbed off on the Commander.

The Doctor snorted. “I’ll keep that in mind, Commander. EMH out.” The monitor clicked off.

Harry and B’Elanna laughed softly. Janeway smiled. Only Tuvok’s expression remained unchanged. The tension in the room had eased considerably as the image of Tom Paris showing off his hairy armpits embossed itself on all their minds. After a relaxed moment, Janeway said, “If that’s all?” When nobody spoke, she dismissed those present.

After Harry, B’Elanna and Tuvok exited the Briefing Room, Janeway and Chakotay remained seated at the table. Janeway watched her first officer in concern. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Chakotay stared at the table top silently for several moments. Finally, he shook his head. “I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

“We’ll get him back, Chakotay.”

“You keep saying that.”

“And you need to keep believing it.”

Their gazes met. They had come a long way since the early days of trying to integrate the Maquis and Starfleet crew into one unified crew. Admittedly, there were still some gaps but they were slowly overcoming them. Nodding his acceptance of her belief that everything would turn out all right, Chakotay stood. Janeway joined him at the Briefing Room door. “I’ll be in my Ready Room,” she told him. “You have the Bridge.”

* * *

The rest of the day passed uneventfully. The Doctor reported that he could find no abnormalities in his scans of Tommy and they could proceed with the mind-meld the next day. Tommy complained vociferously to Chakotay about the “millionth” time he had to go to Sickbay. Chakotay told him he was exaggerating. Tommy denied that loudly, letting Chakotay know he was more than a little fed up with all the tests the Doctor insisted on running on him.

Dinner was a lively affair. The senior crew, much to Chakotay’s gratitude, made a concerted effort to converge on the mess hall at the same time and have dinner with Tommy. Tommy kept them entertained throughout dinner. It was a startling paradox, hearing and seeing Tom Paris’ voice and body, yet one look at the innocent expression and childlike words uttered left no doubt that he was a young child despite appearances.

Back in his quarters for the evening, Chakotay mulled over how to best approach this mind-meld business with Tommy. He wasn’t at all certain he could convince Tommy that another trip to Sickbay was necessary without resorting to a level of sternness he had no wish to subject Tommy to at this point.

Just as he was getting up the nerve to approach Tommy about it, his door chime sounded. Checking on Tommy’s whereabouts, Chakotay discovered he was in their sleeping quarters digging through his pile of toys, obviously on the hunt for something. Chakotay left him to that and answered the door.

“Good evening, Commander,” greeted Tuvok. “May I come in?”

“Of course.” Chakotay stepped back, granting him access.

Once inside, Tuvok turned to face Chakotay. “I thought perhaps it might help if I were to explain about Vulcan mind-melds to Tommy.”

“That’s a good idea, Tuvok.” Chakotay’s relief was obvious.

Tommy exited the sleeping quarters at that moment, carrying Fred and a datapadd that looked to be the one Harry had given him. There was a flight simulation game on it that Tommy had gone wild over, playing it repeatedly until Chakotay thought the sound effects would drive him crazy. At the moment, if it weren’t for Fred ruining the illusion, Chakotay would have sworn it was Tom Paris standing in his quarters studying a datapadd.

“Tommy, we have a visitor,” Chakotay announced.

Tommy looked up, a big grin creasing his face. “Tuvok!”

“Hello, Tommy,” greeted Tuvok.

“Tommy, Tuvok wants to talk with us. Come over here and sit on the couch, okay?”

Tommy enthusiastically plopped himself down in the middle of the couch. Chakotay sat beside him. After a slight hesitation, Tuvok took a seat on Tommy’s other side.

“Tommy, do you know what a Vulcan mind-meld is?” asked Tuvok.

“Nope.” Tommy fiddled with the datapadd, not showing a lot of interest in the conversation.

“You know that Vulcans can sometimes touch the minds of others?”

Tommy looked up at Tuvok at that. “That sounds icky.”

Tuvok frowned.

Chakotay smiled, realizing the mental image that Tommy was getting from Tuvok’s analytical approach. “Tuvok means reading minds, Tommy.”

“Oh. Why didn’t he just say that?” Looking impressed, he turned back to Tuvok. “You can read minds?”

“In a manner of speaking,” confirmed Tuvok. “That is what we call a Vulcan mind-meld. If I were to attempt to touch your mind, I would place my fingers on your face like this.” His fingertips gently touched Tommy’s face. “Then I would reach into your mind and if we were successful, your mind would reach back and . . .” Tuvok trailed off at the look of incomprehension on Tommy’s face.

Chakotay jumped in. “Tommy, think of it like you and Tuvok talking—in here,” he pointed to Tommy’s head. “You and he would be able to hear what you’re talking about but nobody else could.”

“Like a secret?”

“Sort of. Would you like to try a mind-meld with Tuvok?”

“Right now?” Tommy looked as if he didn’t know whether to be excited or leery.

Chakotay shook his head. “No, you’d do it tomorrow in Sickbay–”

“Uh uh.” Tommy adamantly shook his head and crossed his arms. “Not going back to Sickbay. Ever!”

“Tommy–”

“NO!”

Chakotay flinched. That temperamental “no” had a lot more force behind it when uttered with the adult Tom Paris’ deeper voice. Seeing the obstinate expression on Tommy’s face, Chakotay knew they were in for trouble. He had run into this side of Tommy on more than one occasion. Usually, he had the luxury of time on his side and could patiently wait it out. Not so now.

“Commander, if I may offer a suggestion?” Tuvok interceded.

Chakotay’s expression made it clear he would welcome the intervention.

“I see no reason why Tommy and I could not test out the mind-meld here in your quarters, barring any objections from the Doctor, of course. The Doctor could monitor us and Kes would be in attendance.”

Tommy perked up at the mention of Kes. He liked her. She reminded him of Momma. Still, he gave the two adults a suspicious look. “No Sickbay?” he double-checked.

“No Sickbay,” Chakotay softly confirmed, giving Tommy’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

“‘Kay.” Satisfied that Chakotay would keep his promise, Tommy’s attention was once again consumed by the flight simulation game.

Chakotay gestured Tuvok toward the door, where they paused. “You know the Doctor will object,” Chakotay said quietly. “He’ll want to be present to monitor the medical situation and the only way that can happen is if this takes place in Sickbay.”

“Captain Janeway, however, will not object,” Tuvok replied in a reasonable tone, not needing to say that the Captain’s say-so outweighed the Doctor’s.

Chakotay grinned. “No wonder you made a good Maquis, Tuvok.”

“There is no need to be insulting, Commander.”

Chakotay’s grin widened. If he was aware of the Vulcan attempting to ease his stress over the situation, he gave no indication. “Thank you, Tuvok. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Chakotay saw Tuvok out before turning back to his charge. He stood for a long moment, staring at the blond head bent over the vid game. Where did Tommy end and Tom Paris begin? Or perhaps that was his problem in seeing who Tom Paris really was, Chakotay reflected. There was no ending and beginning. Somewhere in Tom Paris there still had to be some of Tommy. The question was, would he be able to find enough of Tommy to be comfortable with Tom Paris? Chakotay gave himself a mental kick. _His_ problem. Not Tom’s. And Chakotay was determined that if they got Tom back, Tom would never again count him as one of his problems.

Chakotay could see it was going to be a long night. Nevertheless, he was determined to enjoy the rest of the evening with Tommy. Tomorrow would arrive soon enough on its own. With those thoughts in mind, he settled back on the couch beside Tommy, where the tickle monster made a sneak attack on young Mr. Paris.


	25. The Storm

##  **CHAPTER 25**

##  **The Storm**

“No!” The heartbroken plea ripped through the stillness of late night, pulling Chakotay out of a restless sleep. Tommy was having another nightmare. Probably one of the nightmares from the adult Tom Paris’ life again, concluded Chakotay worriedly.

Entering the sleeping area, he sat on the bed next to Tommy, who cried out in his sleep again. Chakotay ran a soothing hand over Tommy’s forehead, brushing the hair back, while murmuring softly to him that it was all right.

Tommy’s eyes, full of fear, shot open. For a brief moment, Chakotay swore it was Tom Paris, not Tommy, looking out at him, then the moment was gone. Tommy whimpered his name softly. “Koty.”

Eyes rolling back in his head, Tommy’s body arched up into a convulsion. That lone convulsion escalated into a full-blown seizure. Heart in his throat, Chakotay slapped his combadge. “Computer, emergency transport to Sickbay. Authorization Chakotay Delta Epsilon 2. Beam myself and To – and Lieutenant Paris to Sickbay.”

The emergency Sickbay transport automatically placed Tom’s horizontal body on a biobed. The Doctor was waiting.

“What happened?”

“I’m not sure,” Chakotay replied. “He had another of those dreams, woke up and started convulsing. What’s wrong with him?”

The Doctor, after analyzing the medscanner readings, pressed a hypo to Tommy’s neck. The convulsions quieted but didn’t disappear completely. After taking more extensive readings, the Doctor, his expression grim, turned to Chakotay. “We have a problem. I’d like the Captain and Lieutenant Tuvok here for this as well.”

Nodding, Chakotay stepped away to contact them while the Doctor continued his examination of Tommy.

* * *

Janeway arrived in Sickbay practically on Tuvok’s heels. She stared worriedly at the biobed where Tommy lay unconscious, his body jumping every so often with a small convulsion.

“What’s happened?” she asked as they all gathered round the Doctor.

“As you’re aware,” the Doctor began, “we suspected that the transport was partially successful in reintegrating Mr. Paris’ adult memories.” The Doctor glanced at Tuvok and Chakotay before returning his attention to the Captain. “We had hoped that Lieutenant Tuvok could perform a mind-meld with Mr. Paris in an attempt to bring those memories fully to the forefront and restore Mr. Paris to us. I was reluctant to move ahead with the mind-meld until I had examined all possible avenues of treatment. However, I’m afraid we have no choice now.” The Doctor’s gaze slid to the unconscious man on the biobed. “His neurons are breaking down. Soon, the damage will be irreversible. It’s possible that a meld with Lieutenant Tuvok could restore Lieutenant Paris, who may be better able to cope with what’s occurring. And we don’t have time to debate it,” the Doctor warned.

Janeway looked at Tuvok. “I concur with the Doctor,” the Vulcan said quietly.

Her gaze moved to Chakotay, who gave her a weak smile and a wordless nod. “Very well,” agreed Janeway. “Let’s get on with it then. Tuvok?”

The Vulcan moved to the biobed. The Doctor situated himself on the other side of the biobed. “Commander,” requested Tuvok, whose gaze was focused on Paris’ face, a face that was showing signs of mental anguish even in his unconscious state, “I would ask that you stay in close proximity to Tommy. Perhaps hold his hand. It will provide a reassuring presence for him.”

Chakotay moved up beside Tuvok, taking Tommy’s hand in his. Chakotay was alarmed by how cold the hand was. Janeway moved in to take up residence next to the Doctor, prepared to offer assistance should it be required.

Tuvok closed his eyes and cleared his thoughts. His hands moved into the traditional mind-meld position on Tommy’s face. “My mind to your mind . . .” he chanted softly.

Tuvok slipped in easily to the first level. He had been here before, when the Baneans had punished Tom Paris by giving him memories of a murder he had allegedly committed. Tuvok spent a disorienting moment drifting along the link as he searched for the essence that was Tom Paris. The fact that another mind-voice had not greeted him upon entry was disturbing. In the far distance, several layers deeper, he saw a glimmer of light. It dimmed to a mere flicker with alarming speed.

_Tommy?_

The light flickered in response. Tuvok called out to him again.

_Tommy._

Tuvok sensed puzzlement then a hesitant reaching out to him.

_Tuvok?_

_Yes, I am here._

_Scared._

_You have nothing to fear._

_Dark here. I can’t find a way out._

Fear washed over the link like a small stream of water, uncertainty being tugged along in the current. The fear started out as a small ripple but was quickly growing into roiling rapids of chaos. Tuvok attempted to instill calmness.

_I will come to you, Tommy. Stay where you are._

Reaching deeper, Tuvok moved toward the light.

* * *

The others gathered around the biobed watched as the touch of Tuvok’s fingers upon Tom’s face shifted slightly. Paris winced but made no sound.

“I believe he is trying to establish a deeper connection,” said the Doctor softly as he kept an eye on the readings of both Paris and Tuvok. “Mr. Paris’ readings are continuing to degrade.”

* * *

Tommy crouched in a small dark room, looking very lost and alone. Tuvok noted it wasn’t the Tommy who existed in his current adult form but the child Tommy who had existed for the past few weeks on _Voyager_. Tommy’s face was buried against his knees, as if hiding from something.

_Tommy, I am here._

_Wanna go home._

_Where is home, Tommy?_

Confusion filled the link as images flew at Tuvok at warp speed. A house. A man and woman Tuvok surmised to be Admiral and Mrs. Paris. Two young blonde Human girls who closely resembled Tom Paris. A bedroom filled with flying ships and an assortment of toys. Then the images shifted to _Voyager_. Chakotay. Chakotay’s quarters. Neelix and the mess hall. Tuvok. Kes. And others.

Tuvok introduced new images to Tommy. _Voyager._ An adult Tom Paris at the helm. Tom Paris in the holographic Sandrines. Tom Paris in the mess hall with Harry Kim. However, Tuvok still used the diminutive “Tommy” when he addressed Paris, sensing it had a healing effect on Paris.

_This is your home, Tommy._

Stunned silence filled the link. Then denial.

_No! Home is with Momma and Daddy!_

Tuvok’s eyes took in the rest of the darkened room as he looked for clues how to help Tommy come to grips with his adult self once again. There was a doorway to Tommy’s right. The door, black as the room, was tightly closed.

_What is on the other side of the door, Tommy?_

_Dunno._

Fright edged along the link. Tuvok mentally reached out, trying to reassure the child. He approached the door and tried to open it. It refused to budge. This then was the final wall of defense. Beyond the door were the hidden places of Tom Paris’ mind, the places that wanted to be known and yet did not want to be known. The inner self that was hidden from others. Tuvok was certain if they could gain access to what lay beyond the door that Tommy would merge once again with Tom Paris. Tommy, however, seemed to have an instinctual fear of what was on the other side.

_Tommy, we must open this door._

Denial filled the link. Tommy shrank away from Tuvok, clearly losing faith that he was here to help. An image of Chakotay and refuge flashed along the link. Kneeling before the boy, Tuvok softly spoke to him.

_Tommy, would you open the door if Koty were here to help you?_

Hope flared only to be quickly consumed once more by fear. But stubbornness persisted also.

_Maybe._

* * *

Chakotay was startled when Tuvok, his voice strained from the effort of concentrating on the link with Tommy and the outside world at the same time, suddenly spoke aloud.

“Commander, I require your assistance. I cannot convince Tommy to proceed any further. I believe you may be able to. It will require you entering into the link with us.”

Chakotay didn’t hesitate. “What do I have to do?”

“Clear your mind. Remember that Tommy as well as I will be able to sense your thoughts. Place the fingertips of one hand to my temple. Remain in physical contact with Tommy also.”

Clasping Tommy’s hand even more firmly in his, Chakotay bowed his head, attempting to clear his thoughts of the worries swirling around in an unfocused whirlpool of fear. Once he had achieved that, he gently touched his fingertips to Tuvok’s temple.

Chakotay’s eyes squeezed shut in momentary agony as a fiery trail ripped through his senses. He thought he might have gasped aloud but wasn’t certain. Then he felt himself being pulled rapidly along the link until he was in a dark, cramped room with Tuvok and Tommy. Tommy’s fear was overwhelming the link at the moment.

Tuvok’s mind-voice filled the link.

_Tommy, Koty is here._

Chakotay knelt down next to Tommy and suddenly found himself with a warm armful of little boy. He held him tightly.

_It’s all right, Tommy. It’s going to be all right._

_Don’t make me open the door! Please!_

_Tommy, listen to me. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t like. Because it’s the right thing to do._

Tommy only held onto him tighter.

_If I promise to help you open the door and walk through it with you, will you do it?_

_You promise? You won’t leave?_

_I’ll be here for as long as you need me, Tommy._ Chakotay made the promise, knowing he was making it not only to Tommy but to Tom Paris also.

His fear being more powerful at the moment than his faith in Koty, Tommy’s doubt filled the link. Chakotay, however, remained at his side, as firm and stalwart as always, and Tommy’s faith blossomed once more. The room gradually grew brighter as Tommy’s trust in Koty came to the fore. Determination that Chakotay not be disappointed in him finally overrode his unwillingness to see what was on the other side of the door.

_Koty?_

_I’m right here, Tommy._

A small hand slipped into Chakotay’s. _I’m scared, Koty._

_I know, Tommy._ Chakotay squeezed Tommy’s small hand reassuringly. _Ready?_

As one, they moved toward the door. Tuvok stood aside to allow them access to it.

_You can do it, Tommy._

Still holding onto Chakotay, Tommy’s other hand slowly reached out to grasp the old-fashioned door knob. He looked up at Chakotay. Chakotay’s larger hand closed over Tommy’s and together they turned the knob and pulled.

The heavy door swung open, hinges loudly protesting, and all three were sucked through the doorway into a maelstrom of confusion. Chakotay struggled to keep hold of Tommy but was losing the battle when he felt a sturdy presence at his back and then heard Tuvok shouting over the raging storm.

_We have reached the core of the problem! You must guide Tommy through it! If he becomes lost here, we will most likely be unable to retrieve him!_

Tuvok moved to take Tommy’s other hand but allowed Chakotay to lead the way.

They were buffeted by images of Tom Paris’ life coming at them at warp speed. Currents and eddies pulled them in different directions, threatening to separate them, but the three became one as they dove into the waters of Tom Paris’ memories.

Chakotay saw two-year-old Tommy fall and scrape his knee. His loud cries of fright were answered by his mother. She pulled him into her lap, where his cries died down as she lovingly caressed his cheek.

Love and security filled the link, only to be blown away by the howling wind.

Three-year-old Tommy struggled to stretch his short stubby legs into a longer stride in an effort to keep up with his father. He stumbled and started to fall but his father’s strong arms swept him up to hold him against his chest.

Adoration and awe of his father filled the link, only to be ripped away by another blast of wind.

Five-year-old Tommy grinned hugely as he finished his first flight simulator. He turned to see his father proudly beaming at him. “I flew, Daddy! I flew!”

Euphoria, pride, and childish contentment filled the link, only to be drowned out by the growing storm.

Ten-year-old Tom grinned at his maternal grandfather who sat toward the aft of the sailboat. This was almost as good as flying, he thought excitedly as he watched Lake Como whip by.

Freedom whipped along the link, only to be bombarded by flying debris, unleashed by the near hurricane force of the storm.

Twelve-year-old Tom leaned over and quickly pecked Lissabeth Crowell on the cheek before he lost his nerve.

Thrill of the unknown and the stirrings of first love flowed along the link, only to be crushed under the weight of a driving rain.

Seventeen-year-old Tom lay in his bedroom daydreaming as he remembered the past weekend. He had discovered the wonders of sex. Was it better than flying? He wasn’t sure yet but he intended to explore it further.

Stirrings of manhood filled the link, only to be unbalanced by the slippery footing of rain-trenched ground.

Tom stomped from the house, still hearing his father’s angry words. Not good enough! Never good enough!

Inadequacy filled the link, only to be echoed in confirmation by crashing thunder.

Tom struggled with the shuttle’s controls. It was too late. The best he could hope for was a controlled crash. The planet rushed up at them and then . . . blackness.

Despair filled the link, and spread upon the wind.

Former Lieutenant j.g. Thomas Eugene Paris stood at attention as Admiral Berekoff removed his rank, completing his dismissal from Starfleet and dashing all hopes of ever piloting one of the big starships.

Hopelessness filled the link, and the skies let loose their sorrow and rage.

Tom stood silent as they refastened the restraints around his wrists, binding them behind his back. He met his father’s eyes as he was led away to begin serving his sentence for treason against the Federation. They stopped at the door, where his father waited. Unreadable blue eyes met condemning blue eyes. The Admiral turned his back, cutting his son from his life.

The barrier was erected. Emotions locked away. A lone soul hunted the darkness for a place to hide.

Tom looked up to see an attractive Human female in a Starfleet Captain’s uniform, hands on hips, as she gazed down at him. “I’m looking for Tom Paris.”

Curiosity, quickly dimmed by suspicion.

He leaned over Stadi’s shoulder to get a good look at _Voyager_. Tom lost his heart to _Voyager_ in that first moment.

An overwhelming urge to fly, one he had carefully kept buried, hummed along the link.

“Me?” He shook the hand Captain Janeway offered. “Congratulations, Lieutenant. You’ve earned this.” He stammered an acceptance.

Trust began to seep back into the link.

A strong current tried to pull Tom back but Tuvok and Chakotay fought to keep Tom with them and moving forward. Overwhelming confusion filled the link.

_Who am I?_

Chakotay, his voice and thoughts filled with warmth and love, spoke the name.

_Tom._

Tuvok’s voice, unemotional but full of truth, spoke.

_Tom Paris._

The warm voice spoke again, pulling him forward.

_Time to come home, Tom._

Still, Tom questioned his choices.

_Home? Where?_

* * *

Tuvok began to draw his consciousness back, trusting in the Commander to keep watch over Tom. He maintained the link but once more became aware of his outside existence. His fingertips still resting on Tom’s face, Tuvok could feel Paris’ reactions to the internal struggle. He called out to Paris.

_Lieutenant Tom Paris._

Tuvok could feel the other’s brow furrow in puzzlement beneath his fingers. Words too fast to be followed raced along underneath the main current and then Tom was reaching back toward him.

_Tuvok?_

Tuvok was momentarily blinded by the brilliance of Tom’s thoughts when he recognized the Vulcan. Strong emotions washed over Tuvok. He resisted an overwhelming urge to pull back and avoid the vibrant Human emotions, not wishing to rebuff Paris at this crucial moment. Paris’ thoughts and feelings bathed Tuvok in a rain of warmth and confusion until they faded to puzzled silence.

_What are we doing here?_

A third presence joined in the stream of mind-voices.

_Tom, it’s time to go home._

_Chakotay? What the hell?_

Emotions shifted in the swirling eddies. Tom turned to them, confusion of a different sort washing over him now.

_What’s going on?_

Chakotay and Tuvok were both experiencing an unexplainable urgency to end the link and pull Tom out as quickly as possible. Something dark and indefinable loomed overhead just out of sight, refusing to identify itself. Not understanding the urgency but following his instincts, Chakotay quickly let his thoughts reflect images from the Quizah homeworld and the impending purification. A soft oath shot forth into the link when Tom comprehended the images.

A deep breath taken by one but felt by three and as one they moved forward.

The calm and sunshine following the whirlpool of memories was suddenly replaced by another angry storm. They found themselves on a grassy knoll, storm clouds sweeping in overhead. Thunder sounded. Lightning crackled and the wind roared its displeasure, threatening to topple them.

_No!_

Tom’s cry of anguish had Tuvok and Chakotay turning to see what obstacle now stood in their way. Tom was on his knees, head bowed. His clothing had been ripped away by the wind. He was defenseless. Afraid. A beaten and battered man knelt before them.

Chakotay stepped toward him.

_Tom?_

_I . . . can’t . . ._

Wind and rain pelted them as Chakotay and Tuvok reached out to Tom.

_We must leave now._ Vulcan calm in the midst of the storm.

Tom, lost in another nightmare, shuddered. _No! Don’t touch me!_

Both men fell back as the images assaulted them and they experienced the Purification from Tom’s point of view.

Strapped down on a table.

Clothing removed as the Quizah performed the ritualistic cleansing of the body before the cleansing of the mind.

An alien face looming over Tom.

A syringe being injected into his arm as a drug was shot into his system.

Hot, burning pain.

Losing himself. Memories ripped from him.

_No! No, stop!_

* * *

“NO! NO, STOP!”

Kathryn Janeway and the Doctor both jumped in surprise at the loud utterance from Tom Paris. After the initial exclamation, he went still once again but Tuvok and Chakotay both fell back, the link obviously broken and both men looking shaken.

Tuvok’s Vulcan demeanor quickly slipped back into place.

Chakotay held shakily to the edge of the biobed, his other hand still holding Tom’s in a death grip.

Attention turned to the Doctor as he completed his scan of Paris and spoke. “His neural patterns have returned to normal.”

All eyes turned to Tom, watching as his eyes opened, squinted in pain against the bright lights until the Doctor ordered them to be dimmed, and then said hoarsely, “Sickbay _again?_ What’d I do this time?”

“Lieutenant Paris?” asked Janeway carefully.

“Captain?”

Tom didn’t miss the looks that passed between those gathered around his bed. He started to ask what he had missed but ended up groaning in pain instead.

“Headache, Mr. Paris?” asked the Doctor.

“You could say that. Feels more like a migraine.”

He heard the hiss of a hypo and immediately began feeling better and so drowsy he couldn’t keep his eyes open.

“Tired,” was all he managed to get out before lapsing into a deep sleep.

“I gave him a sedative,” the EMH told the others. “He requires rest, as do the both of you,” he concluded after running the medscanner over Tuvok and Chakotay.

“He’s going to be all right?” asked Chakotay.

“I believe Mr. Paris will make a full recovery,” the Doctor assured him.

“You two go get some rest,” Janeway instructed. She then pulled the Doctor to one side to discuss Paris’ recovery. Chakotay lingered over the sleeping form of Tom for a moment, as did Tuvok.

Tuvok, remembering the last sensations of overwhelming Human emotion right before the link broke, turned to Chakotay. The Commander’s sorrow still echoed in the last traces of the link like rain falling softly on a lake. “I am sorry, Commander. I grieve with thee for your loss.”

Startled, Chakotay returned his look. For one brief moment, Vulcan eyes and Human eyes met in understanding. With a final look in Tom’s direction, Chakotay gently disengaged his hand from Tom’s and turned and left Sickbay.


	26. EPILOGUE

##  **EPILOGUE**

Chakotay stopped just inside the doorway to his quarters. Reminders of Tommy lay scattered about his quarters. Moving through the room, he gathered the items up, stacking them in his closet. Turning to the bed, he spotted Fred, abandoned there when the emergency transport to Sickbay had taken place.

Everything caught up with Chakotay in a rush. Four hours ago, he had sat here, reading a bedtime story to Tommy. He had hoped they would get Tom back eventually but it had happened with such rapidity in the end that he was now having trouble adjusting. His emotions seesawed wildly back and forth.

Dimming the lights, Chakotay sat on the bed, his back against the headboard. He picked up the doll. “Looks like it’s just you and me again, Fred,” he said softly. Holding the doll in his lap, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes, letting the memories enfold him in a soft embrace.

####  **Finis**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s all she wrote, folks.
> 
> Question for you: If there were to be a sequel (and I make no promises in that regard), would you want to see Chakotay and Paris? Or Chakotay/Paris?


End file.
